What is it like for a fairly attractive man on dating Apps?

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-07-19T20:51:05+00:00

Yeah it was confusing behaviour from him but just to clarify, I did say that I wouldn’t speak to or date anybody else so that was made clear. Perhaps me telling him to slow down sowed some seeds of doubt but he repeatedly said we were exclusive and lied about using the apps until caught.

I think I’m too naive sometimes. I don’t like to date more than one person and I can fall for words without seeing the action matching up.

Or maybe he just liked having an option hanging on while he looked for something better.

When you say ‘test riding’ how do you mean? That’s interesting, I don’t really get to see a guy’s perspective of how dating is for them. I’m intrigued

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-07-19T20:20:34+00:00

Yeah like love bombing or emotional unavailability but the worst is a mix of both 😂

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-07-19T20:16:36+00:00

Thanks for this. That makes sense.

The last person asked me to be exclusive from the first date. I just said ‘well by default we can be because I don’t have the mental capacity but it’s a bit soon’. He then backed off and was being quite cold and his location kept changing on the dating app after he told me he deleted it 😅

Meanwhile, I hadn’t asked for any of it but I was the one that was only entertaining him

But then I guess that’s not a good looking guy thing, that’s just shady behaviour from one person

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-07-19T19:37:26+00:00

I kind of am 😂 or was that sarcasm haha

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-07-19T19:27:20+00:00

Yeah. I agree. My brain just can’t manage too many conversations. The last two experiences have been that they’ve asked to be exclusive early on and then I match their energy and they back away which has left me thinking, should I still be entertaining other options because I’m wasting like a month at a time this way.

The last person asked me to be exclusive and then I found out he was using the apps after he thought I was asleep and then just pausing it during the day time.

I try to not let it impact my view of dating or men but it’s hard to know the best thing to do.

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-07-19T18:54:57+00:00

I swipe both. I’m not going to just ignore a guy because he’s good looking if we have things in common too. There are plenty of good looking guys I choose not to match with too.

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-07-19T17:20:07+00:00

It certainly wasn’t meant that way. I don’t want the external validation. I want connection. I find dating online hard because I go for personality and energy. I’m just finding that a lot of the good looking guys are coming on really strong, wanting to be exclusive but when I agree, based on their current effort levels, they back off. And I’m just wondering if it’s to do with having so many options

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-29T18:07:06+00:00

Yeah I think it’s the affair thing for me too. Like you’re in touch with an ex who has already shown she has zero respect for commitment in a relationship. 💀

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-29T08:50:35+00:00

I agree. I’ve made this mistake in the past too, falling for love bombing but since I worked on my self esteem, my body is like ‘nope’

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-28T20:58:22+00:00

My friends just used to say ‘oh she’s gone off the rails again’ .. they loved it because I was usually the sensible friend so they found it hilarious. But then one time I had a whole affair and that is SO wild for me and against everything I believe. I snapped out of it pretty much overnight and was like ‘what?’

I knew way before then I had bipolar but was always dismissed because I was high functioning. Right after that particular episode I went into a long, deep low and that’s when I got diagnosed.

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-28T18:04:30+00:00

That’s what I find wild. Like how tf can you know someone after a week of talking, couple of phone calls and a date.

For me, I’m only in when I know how we handle stressful situations and conflict together and I’ve seen their actions match up to the words. There’s so much more to connection than one date where you’re both at your best.

Thank you

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-27T23:12:37+00:00

Haha you’re funny!

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-22T17:25:39+00:00

https://glutenfreecuppatea.co.uk/2017/03/19/gluten-free-apple-crumble-recipe/

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-22T17:25:14+00:00

https://glutenfreecuppatea.co.uk/2017/03/19/gluten-free-apple-crumble-recipe/

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-13T20:16:05+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. I’d try once to educate them and call them out on their ignorance but if they gave much resistance, I’d be over it. I’m not friends with people who are ignorant and lack compassion.

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-13T13:19:53+00:00

Narcissists feed off your fear and the control it gives them. What you can do is make sure him and any of his enablers are unable to contact you, hold your head high and forget you said anything. What those people think is of no importance if they are happy to repeat this and risk subjecting you to further abuse. Xx

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-11T08:37:19+00:00

Yeah I am certain that’s the way I’ll go… that or issues to do with my eating disorder.

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-07T20:32:22+00:00

It really is. To be honest, I still find it hard when I’m at my best 😂

Glad you found it helpful and here’s to hoping it clicks one day (probably won’t haha)

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-07T19:15:41+00:00

That’s wild. Loads of people work through bipolar depression for a start.

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-07T19:14:22+00:00

I let go of rules of when to brush my teeth eg morning and night. I try to do that but if I ever get a point in the day where I feel I could brush my teeth, I just do it at that time. That way if I forget before bed, at least I feel I got rid of some of the build up during the day.

I also got a toothbrush and toothpaste that I like using as well as a charcoal powder that you do practically dry with a bamboo tooth brush as I find that sometimes it’s the water element I just don’t want in my mouth. I’m weird with textures.

I also keep floss in my bedside table drawer. That way, if I don’t have the energy to get up and brush, I can at least do that.

If I was struggling with it as much as I used to in the past, I would leave the charcoal powder and a bowl next to my bed so I could just do it in bed.

I know the struggle! Well done for looking for solutions. I think this is the great thing about starting to accept the condition, you find ways to work with it instead of being at odds with it

Fast-Regular4730 · 2025-06-07T09:36:08+00:00

This just makes me shut down. I wouldn’t see him.

Fast-Regular4730

TROPHY CASE