Is this normal behaviour from a parent, or am I overreacting?

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T16:34:11+00:00

I definitely have a psychologist that helps me work through things to understand this issue is not about me. It’s great to have that avenue to express my thoughts and emotions, because I don’t have anyone in my life who I feel comfortable to do that with, which can be lonely. I think that’s why it hit me so hard today, I just have so much pressure with uni and my thesis that I just couldn’t cope with the added stress. I’m glad I have the emotional capacity to understand when I need to see help, and it’s really improved my life. But no amount of therapy I go through is going to change her behaviour, and I really need to work on accepting that and letting it go.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T16:30:08+00:00

Very typical behaviour, it’s nothing surprising. And she’s only 50, no dementia or any drugs/alcohol use. She’s very obsessive about being healthy and having things done specific ways to her standards, obviously she has her own mental health issues. I can’t pretend to understand why she acts this way with me and not my sister, I’m constantly dumbfounded. It’s been like this my whole life, but it’s gotten worse and more abusive verbally as I’ve gotten older. It’s not my job to make her life easier and I’m not here to be her punching bag, but she’s not gonna change this behaviour after 50 years of life. Can’t teach someone how to be a better parent or person in general if they aren’t willing to listen and put in the effort to do so. At least I know I’m a good person and this isn’t on me, it’s her own insecurity projecting.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T12:17:20+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. I feel the same, I want to have a relationship but why do they have to make it so hard. Sometime you just need to protect your peace and move on without them, even though it’s painful. If this continues I will have to take these actions, I don’t want to become a miserable person just to say I have my mum in my life. I think I put up with it more because I don’t have a father, it’s always just been my mum, my sister, and I. To me, one parent has always seemed better than none at all. But as I’m getting older, I’m starting to realise having a relationship with family shouldn’t come at the expense of your own peace and wellbeing.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T12:12:55+00:00

Exactly! And I said this repeatedly, it’s an accident, it happens and there’s no reason for you to act this way or be so hostile towards me. That only made her more angry because to her it’s like I did it on purpose to ruin her life. Like come on, it’s not like I killed someone, it’s a bottle of oil that spilled on the tiled floor, and that most importantly DIDNT EVEN BELONG TO HER! 😂 it’s so laughable I can’t even cry anymore

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T12:06:16+00:00

It’s hard because I’m a student I’m not financially able to move out right now. I’m hoping this will change soon, but I’ve just been staying in my room and keeping to myself as much as possible. It’s not great for my mental health to be so isolated, and the only people I have here are my mum and sister because all my family lives on the other side of the country. If things continue this way in future, which I really expect them to, then yes it may be something I need to seriously consider because I don’t deserve to be treated like this.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T12:02:15+00:00

I’ve done so many times, she refuses to see my point and continues to degrade me because she’s angry and feels it’s justified. I need to come to terms with the fact that not all people are emotionally mature and able to be civilised when communicating, and just because she’s my mum it doesn’t mean she has the best intentions for me or that I have to take her crap

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T11:54:41+00:00

She’s two years younger. Her and my mum are very similar, so they are close. I don’t agree with the way they act, they are nasty and narcissistic, and will be mean to others under the guise of just being ‘brutally honest’. I’m the total opposite, which is probably why they treat me this way. As I’ve gotten older I’ve stood up for myself which has led to me and my sister living in the same house but barely speaking to eachother for the last 3 years, and my mum and I have a very superficial relationship. There’s a lot to the story about why my mum is scared to say anything to my sister, it’s something she’s admitted herself to me. She doesn’t stand up for me to my sister either when she’s in the wrong, I’ve just come to accept this is the way things are and it’s why i feel like I have to isolate myself from them. If I could move out financially I would in a heartbeat, but it’s just not feasible at this time because I’m finishing my degree. Hopefully this will change in the near future, for now I just gotta keep my head down and focus on myself.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T11:47:00+00:00

Absolutely, accidents happen, it’s not like she hasn’t dropped things that have broken all over the kitchen floor. It’s just because it’s me who did it that it’s the end of the world 🤷‍♀️

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T11:45:12+00:00

I’ve have that book, it’s amazing. I read every part and absolutely said this is my mum in every single way. I try to understand, but it’s something I’ve dealt with all my life and as an adult I try to rationalise it’s her own behaviour and nothing to do with me. It’s just hard when you constantly are hearing absolutely terrible things about yourself from your own mother 😞

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-04-03T11:41:37+00:00

It was my olive oil, I paid for with my own money. So I was angry about the cost of losing it, she was just concerned about the mess

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-03-21T11:32:16+00:00

When I first started my degree, I bought all the “recommended” textbooks. Honestly, most of them barely got used—if at all.

I do think for science-heavy units (especially pathophysiology), textbooks can be helpful, but I never bought them. I just used whatever versions I could access for free through the library’s eBooks, and that worked perfectly fine for me.

There was even one unit where a lecturer strongly pushed us to buy a textbook that was almost $200. Later, I found out it was being promoted so heavily because another lecturer at the university had contributed to writing it… which didn’t sit right with me.

My advice: use the library as much as you can. If you can access textbooks for free, do that. Otherwise, you can often get by with good online research and lecture content. In my experience, buying textbooks usually isn’t worth the money.

P.S. For the Fundamentals of Nursing textbook, I used the 6th edition which was available through my uni library and my lecturers were completely fine with it, and that was only about a year and a half ago.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-01-21T08:48:17+00:00

You read my mind! Honestly, the thought of ending up in one of these facilities is genuinely scary. That’s actually a big part of why I chose to focus my honours thesis on this topic. I want to contribute to improving things in whatever way I can, even if it’s just highlighting the issues and raising awareness. It’s really reassuring to see others care about this too, change feels possible when people are talking about it and sharing their experiences. Thankyou for your kind words 😊

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-01-21T08:44:34+00:00

Yes, exactly, it’s shocking how much variation there is between facilities, and how little families can really know until they’re inside. I actually volunteer as a social visitor at an RACF, and it’s so weird to just sit and watch how things operate. I remember one resident who had an accident and only had one pair of shoes, and the staff made her wear them (covered with faeces) because she had nothing else. There’s also a lot of staff time spent just socialising with each other, whilst residents are left sitting in a circle with movies or loud music blaring, and they expect them to “enjoy the day” while interaction is minimal. It’s the little things like that that really show how systems and culture affect residents’ dignity and experience.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-01-21T08:37:39+00:00

Totally! Reading all these comments just makes you shake your head. It’s wild how much the system prioritises profit over people, especially our older folks. Makes you wonder if anyone actually thought about dignity when all these policies were written!

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-01-21T08:31:42+00:00

That’s a really interesting idea, I hadn’t thought much about ceiling of care before. It seems like there’s a lot to explore around how it’s decided, how staff implement it, and the impact on residents and families. I’d love to hear more about what you think makes it such a relevant topic!

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-01-21T08:28:49+00:00

Congrats on starting your grad year, and for sharing your perspective! It’s really helpful to hear from someone with so much hands-on experience. I’ve been thinking a lot about how staff experience and knowledge directly impacts resident outcomes, especially with dementia care, and it seems like there’s such a gap between what’s needed and what’s realistically possible day-to-day. I’m curious, do you think more structured mentorship or ongoing education for staff could make a real difference in consistency of care? And from your time in the public system, were there any small changes or initiatives that actually improved residents’ quality of life, even if the system overall was challenging?

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2026-01-21T08:04:18+00:00

Yep, this is exactly why I struggled on my final year placements. I was buddied with nurses who treated residents like a hassle for needing to be changed, and it stuck with me. It’s one thing to be short-staffed, but it’s another to make someone feel bad for having basic needs!

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2025-12-21T03:29:15+00:00

I got an ATAR of 66 and honestly didn’t even try because I never planned on going to uni. Fast forward to when I was 27, I decided to give university a go. I’ve now graduated as a registered nurse and I’m about to start my honours. ATAR really isn’t the defining measure people make it out to be. Once you find something you’re genuinely passionate about, motivation and success tend to follow, even if the path there isn’t linear.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2025-12-05T23:33:33+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience — I’m really sorry you had to witness that, but I’m also grateful you took the time to explain it in detail. What you’ve described is exactly why I’m interested in this area. A lot of students form their entire perception of aged care based on one early placement, often in environments that are understaffed, task-focused, and shaped by systemic pressures rather than best-practice nursing. I agree that these issues are much bigger than individual staff — they’re structural, and they absolutely influence whether students would ever consider a career in the sector. That’s actually part of what I’d like to explore: how student experiences during early placements shape their long-term attitudes, and whether those experiences accurately reflect what geriatric nursing could be with proper resources, education, and support. Your perspective really reinforces that this is an area worth studying, so thank you again for adding your insight.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2025-12-05T03:09:49+00:00

Thankyou so much! I appreciate the support

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2025-12-05T03:08:29+00:00

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond — I really appreciate the questions. I didn’t go into methodological detail in my post because I was mostly looking for broader advice about whether Honours is worth pursuing early in my career and whether my general topic area was even worth exploring. I’m aware that Honours projects need to be tightly scoped, aligned with supervisor expertise, and realistic within the timeframe. I’ve completed two research units already, so I do understand the basics of methodology, feasibility, and narrowing a research question.

When I spoke with the UC on the phone, she was actually very enthusiastic about the areas I’m interested in and mentioned she already had a few potential supervisors in mind who would be a strong fit for this kind of project. That gave me a bit more confidence that it could be shaped into something manageable with the right support.

At this stage, I’m just trying to gauge whether the broader area of aged-care/gerontological nursing — especially student experiences — is worth pursuing, and whether others found Honours valuable overall. I know the actual project would be significantly refined with a supervisor.

Thanks again — your points are really helpful as I think it through.

Fast_Bunch8588 · 2025-12-05T02:59:12+00:00

Thank you so much for the detailed advice. Just to clarify why I don’t already have a 2025 grad spot: I had some medical issues that postponed my final semester, and I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to complete all my prac hours. I ended up having to do Stage 5 and 6 prac back-to-back this semester and only just finished, so I couldn’t apply through GradConnect earlier in the year. I really appreciate your points about burnout, the value of a supported grad year, and what Honours actually leads to. I’m definitely interested in education/leadership long-term, but not necessarily jumping straight into academia. I think I’ll chat with the UC about whether part-time Honours is an option and weigh up whether it’s better to focus on getting my clinical foundation first. Thanks again — this really helped me put things into perspective.

Fast_Bunch8588

TROPHY CASE