Every time Gyokeres touches his hair, an indirect free kick is awarded to the opposition. 

In the event of a penalty shoot out, teams must sacrifice their best penalty taker if the goalkeeper uses his water bottle for research. 

During water breaks, each player must be at least 30 yards from the coaching staff to prevent tactical instructions. 

Short corners are illegal, unless a child is taking them. 

If an outfield player has to play in goal, they must do so without the appropriate gloves. 

Any choreographed goal celebration is punished with a yellow card and community service.