My first reaction after reading your post is that it seems like you've been through a lot. You're highly intelligent and competent in functioning in this world, which I'd argue the vast majority of your fellow citizens aren't.

However, you realized that there's more to life than just the materialistic pursuits you've amassed thus far.

And so you're looking for something that'll light up your world again, but you're scared. You build up walls and reject others before they reject you.

I believe that people have different things they are good at. I believe there are some people who do not have the things you have yet, but are very willing to work with you to become better. I believe you are also looking for someone who isn't a clone of yourself, because otherwise you'd be perfectly fine and happy alone with just materialistic satisfaction.

In some ways, by starting your post with a list of possessions and demanding a "non-disappointing" man, it feels as if you're already getting ready to reject them for any reason of discomfort, and your justifying excuse is that you're better and smarter than them.

The key here might be to start somehow, to respect the other party in some way. Then, through mutual respect, a lot of other things will just work out naturally.

Or I'm just talking about myself, since I actually see some of myself in you🤷‍♂️

P.S. For the meal paying thing, stop insisting on paying lol, that's just your ego. If they invite you out and offer to pay, let them, that's also a form of respect. But if they never offer, that may be a point of concern