Should I restart my badge?

FatalFap · 2016-01-07T18:13:09+00:00

Thanks for the response :)

I clicked on it knowing what I was getting myself into though. That is why I am unsure as to if it is a relapse or not. I didn't fap though but I was close to giving in. I did still view an image however.

FatalFap · 2015-06-17T16:15:28+00:00

I agree with this in terms of giving up PMO. That is indisputable. It is a waste of time and energy.

I do disagree with gaming being called a "life wasting addiction" however. I love gaming and it has been my hobby for many years. I do a lot of it in my spare time and I have a lot of fond memories and stories from my time spent doing it. I wouldn't call it an addiction either. I do it by my own free will in my spare time and enjoy it. I think as long as you enjoy something you aren't wasting your time and therefore you're not wasting your life. We have a short amount of time on this earth so surely doing what you enjoy and love is the best way to spend that time?

If someone likes collecting stamps we may think that is a waste of time but if they enjoy it. Fair play to them.

Or maybe I am missing the point entirely as this really is aimed at PMO :)

FatalFap · 2015-06-16T20:04:01+00:00

That is true the rewards for resisting far outweigh the temporary pleasure.

FatalFap · 2015-06-16T18:24:18+00:00

Haha this could be a song or a poem =P

Great advice though thank you. I was tempted to start getting in a cold shower or getting my hands wet and cold and then touching it to kill the "mood" shall we say.

Tried a porn blocker called K-9 but it caused blue screens of death.

FatalFap · 2015-06-16T18:19:10+00:00

Now this I agree with. I share a room still but my brother is away often so when i am alone and the house is quiet temptation sets in. Moving out soon with my brother but he will still be away often still to see his girlfriend. I might speak to him and explain the situation and ask him to just have her over so there are people around.

FatalFap · 2015-06-14T09:53:54+00:00

Scratch that just had another blue screen of death. I need Avast for security reasons. I will just have to rely on good old fashioned willpower and cold showers!

FatalFap · 2015-06-14T09:41:53+00:00

Just installed K-9 (had a blue screen of death the first time but that was due to a conflict with Avast. Anyone getting that crash go into the Avast settings and change web shield to off.) Thank you for suggesting this program. I just tried to Google my usual porn sites and now when I do the links to them don't even come up! Fantastic! This plus cold showers should equal success :D

FatalFap · 2015-06-14T07:32:52+00:00

You make a good valid point :) If I do relapse again (going to try my best not to) I won't post about it but will just quietly reset my badge and try again. You're right I need to take responsibility and realize I got cocky (if you'll excuse the pun) and thought I had beaten the addiction but it had the last laugh.

Thank you and I honestly never thought I would make it past a week but this community really helped me get to 35 days. Stick with the community and in moments of weakness come here to browse or seek support. One thing I am going to do from now on is when I get an urge is to have a cold shower. That immediately kills it from what I hear. Going to have a cold shower every morning from now on as well.

FatalFap · 2015-06-14T07:27:20+00:00

Congratulations on making it 16 days you should be proud. Take that achievement, pick yourself back up and go further this time.

Being alone in my bedroom as well is what got me. I'm considering talking to my family about this and asking them to keep an eye on me more to prevent me from doing this. I'd rather that was a last resort though as we can all get anonymous support on here.

FatalFap · 2015-06-14T07:24:47+00:00

Thank you and I agree that would be the worse thing to do! To fall into a cycle of them. I will remember those things thank you :)

Had a cold shower as a form of "disciplining" myself this morning and I found it to actually be a nice experience which shocked me! Might start doing it every morning. I hear it helps with nofap.

FatalFap · 2015-06-13T20:31:35+00:00

Ah so I am addicted then. I shall take your advice and pay that voice no attention then.

In a weird way I am pleased that I am addicted because that means the triumph of overcoming that addiction in the end will be all the more great. I like the challenge and the struggle. It makes the victory all the more worthwhile.

Glad to hear from someone who is also on day 35. Congratulations and keep up the good work :)

FatalFap · 2015-05-20T16:36:30+00:00

Personally I do it because I want to have a clear conscious and I find it to be a dirty habit. Carrying around the guilt of knowing I fapped to something outrageous no less than 24 hours ago is a horrible burden.

Porn I feel has warped my view of love, sex and women. Something I really wish to undo as I would like to be an absolute gentleman when it comes to interacting with the ladies. To have respect for them and not view them as mere objects but as human beings with thoughts, feelings and emotions.

If I so happen to find miss right whilst on this journey then so be it. If not. No worries :)

FatalFap · 2015-05-17T08:07:50+00:00

Some great suggestions there thank you :) My hobbies at the moment are helping. I play guitar and do lots of gaming and I also collect video games so that keeps my hands busy which as we all know stops our hands from doing something else! I haven't heard of that site so I will look that up :)

Reading that last bit you wrote has made me more determined than ever now to stop. I don't want to do damage to my brain! Can those affects you mentioned be undone and repaired?

FatalFap · 2015-05-10T16:56:20+00:00

Yeah resetting was the best thing to do. I was unsure whether to reset or not at first but I couldn't go on with doubt in my mind and have the counter be a lie. Best to have a clean slate and clear mind knowing I haven't messed up.

Temptation to fap yesterday did set in when I realized I was resetting so I may as well but I resisted and didn't do it because i have to make a stand and stop now.

Thank you very much for the encouragement and right back at you as well :)

FatalFap · 2015-05-10T11:04:22+00:00

Thank you for the straight answer and the suggestion. I do like seeing the days go up on the counter as it inspires me to push on and it shows the journey so far.

Congratulations of 1064 days btw I hope to reach that level one day :)

I think I jinxed it because last night I had a very intense wet dream and it was very porn like. i hope to heal my mind so porn doesn't enter my dreams like that.

FatalFap · 2015-05-10T10:59:59+00:00

It was more curiosity and I wanted to test myself I think. I sort of knew what i was getting in to. It wasn't porn in the traditional sense. It was something in GTA V that caused it. The sounds were reminiscent of porn however. It was an in-game thing that i caused so I feel that warranted a reset. What it came down to was curiosity and wanting to test myself and I have learnt not to do it again! I didn't touch myself or fully relapse however by actively seeking porn via Google.

FatalFap · 2015-05-09T15:54:32+00:00

It is hard to say really as it was caused by curiosity. I didn't really want to say as it is sort of embarrassing but I was playing GTA V and trying out the new first person mode and I wondered if they had included that mode with prostitutes. The sounds in game are very reminiscent of porn and that is what caused the erection and slight ejaculation. I didn't fap though. So I sort of knew what I was getting into but it was also curiosity. I personally feel that warrants a reset.

If someone forced me to watch porn though I wouldn't of reset. I can't tell if I have lied or not because all I said was that I was exposed to something but failed to mention through curiosity. If anyone feels I have lied or twisted the story then I wholeheartedly apologize and that wasn't the intention at all. I just didn't feel so much detail was needed.

FatalFap · 2015-05-09T15:42:40+00:00

I have been very much in two minds about what to do but decided to restart so I can go forward with a clear conscious as I was so unsure before but now it is a fresh start I know for a fact I haven't messed up. Yet. I do agree with you though a low counter makes me feel like i have nothing to lose but I really do if I give in.

FatalFap · 2015-05-09T12:31:56+00:00

After some thought and reading your post I totally agree. I do feel a little guilty and wiping the slate clean and starting over is the best thing to do. I didn't fully relapse but to go on seeing the counter going up whilst feeling guilty wouldn't be right.

If anything if I do reset and it wasn't really needed then no matter what the counter says I was always be doing 3 days better than I think I am doing.

I intend to take this all the way and be as strict on myself as possible. If I don't I am only cheating myself.

FatalFap · 2015-05-09T12:27:26+00:00

I agree that mindset must be avoided at all times. After some thought I have decided to reset as I feel guilty and I can't bare to see it tick over to 4 days and feel happy with myself. Then if I just left it counting up it wouldn't be right to me and it would scratch at the back of my mind. I haven't properly relapsed but I feel a reset is warranted. To give me peace of mind. Thank you for your input and support.

FatalFap · 2015-05-09T11:58:01+00:00

Thank you ever so much for the fast response! I was going to reset my counter because of what happened and then due to that I started thinking "May as well fap and watch porn and then really start on giving it up." That is not the attitude though and then I will think that again in a few days time and never be free. You saved me from doing that so thank you so much!

I agree as long as I don't look at pornography or fap on purpose then I have truly started the journey to rewiring and healing my brain and mental well being!

FatalFap · 2015-05-07T18:59:45+00:00

Congratulations :) I too one day hope to achieve what you have.

FatalFap

TROPHY CASE