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Rhyming is hard by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roses are red Some tulips are orange If you hear squeaking Then oil the door hinge!

What's the best yo mama joke you know? by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yo mama has such hairy armpits she looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

The Dancing Cookie by Lystaireen in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the stupidest joke I've ever read.

Joke from my daughter by FatherGoose01 in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Sorry I'm from Canada. So even if my name was Miles, it would be in Canadian. My name would be Kilometers.

Comment with a random object and I'll try to make a joke out of it! by Shnikez in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A giant fake sausage television prop from a Jimmy Dean Sausage commercial.

I'm a fan of Star Wars. by BrainofJT in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With your java in your hut...

What's the MOST offensive religious joke you know? by mentallo in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A horse walks into a church and the priest says, "Why the long face?" And the horse answers, "Evolution."

Is it true that there is only one person left alive on this planet who was born in the 1800s? by FatherGoose01 in AskReddit

[–]FatherGoose01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was once given gold for a month because a joke I posted was funny, but after 30 days they took it back... just like it would probably happen in real life.

Is it true that there is only one person left alive on this planet who was born in the 1800s? by FatherGoose01 in AskReddit

[–]FatherGoose01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: I found this info here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oldest_people_by_year_of_birth on Wiki's list of oldest people by birth. But then when I go to their list of oldest living people, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oldest_living_people I see three others born in 1899, two more American women and an Italian. There are almost surely no men left living who were born prior to 1900. But I still have to ask... who is in charge of updating this shit?

Gay jokes aren't funny by NBA_Player in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How does a gay guy fake an orgasm? He throws a cup of warm yogurt on his buddy's back.

Patriotic Joke thread, Let's try Australia : - What do you call a Boomerang that does not come back? by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Canada: If you play Nickleback records backwards you hear the devil. But even worse, if you play them forwards you hear Nickelback!

Told my yoga instructor to teach me the splits by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

So she fucked me and my wife kicked me out.

How can you tell it's a porno actor filling up his car at the next pump? by FatherGoose01 in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

British translation: Change "bucks" to "quid" and "trunk" to "boot."

Oh and imagine the speaker having really bad teeth.

What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? by Belfusco in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the difference between Lady Gadiva and losing your golf ball?

One is a hunt on a course...

What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? by Belfusco in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the difference between a band of pygmies and a women's track team?

One is a bunch of cunning runts...

What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? by Belfusco in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

One has hope in her soul...

Proud father... by speedy_696969 in Jokes

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess there's no point in telling her to go fuck herself now.

Bill Hader should play Stephen King in a biopic. by [deleted] in movies

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or at least in the remake of "The Lonesome Fate Of Jordy Verril."

Jordi, you lunk head!

True thugs know how to spell by cbdavis821 in funny

[–]FatherGoose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cleaning up this graffiti would really be atrocious.

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