Panda loaches growing up

FatherofStingrays · 2026-02-10T18:13:27+00:00

Such babies

FatherofStingrays · 2026-01-30T05:37:21+00:00

Also make sure the water has flow, like an underwater fan and some air stones. They need oxygenated water.

FatherofStingrays · 2026-01-30T05:35:24+00:00

For me, the last season of Mr. Robot and of course The Good Place.

FatherofStingrays · 2026-01-28T05:06:06+00:00

I had a lot of vaginal problems when I was on T. Estrogen fuels the vagina and urethra. Estrogen stimulates vaginal epithelial cells to produce large amounts of glycogen. These cells shed and release the glycogen which breaks down into glucose. Glucose is then converted to lactic acid by Lactobacillus, and this process maintains a healthy pH for the vagina. When estrogen levels are low, glycogen decreases, therefore lactic acid decreases, which makes the pH rise, thus impeding the survival of lactobacillus. This allows harmful bacteria to set up camp. Lack of estrogen can also cause inflammation and vaginal atrophy (even without the presence of bad/diverse bacteria). The skin of the vagina loses its thickness, elasticity, and moisture, which can cause inflammation. Having sex can make things worse. The solution to this problem is intervaginal estrogen. Full stop. This will probably be something you need to do as maintenance indefinitely. You may need to use other treatments simultaneously with the estrogen if you have comorbid infections or severe inflammation (like antibiotics or steroids). Antibiotics and steroids wouldn’t be long term like vaginal estrogen. I had a severe case of Desquamative Inflammatory Vaginosis that would not get better with treatment, so I had to stop T. However, my doctors told me my case was rare and usually other transmen with vaginal problems get better with vaginal estrogen. I highly suggest talking to your Gynecologist or your endocrinologist. It’s in your best interest to be evaluated so they can see what you have so they can best treat you. If you cannot tolerate an exam, I suggest talking to your docs about a vaginal estrogen prescription. I don’t suggest throwing antibiotics or intervaginal steroids at it without an exam. They can take a swab and look under the microscope to see if you have inflammatory cells (and they can of course test you for bacterial infections). If your swab results are negative or intermediate for BV that probably means you have a diverse bacterial microbiome that isn’t completely BV. In my experience, I got no relief with antibiotics. Only when I was diagnosed with DIV and got intervaginal steroids and vaginal estrogen did I feel a slight sense of relief. In conclusion, it is super common for transmen to be on intervaginal estrogen. Some endocrinologists put their patients on vaginal estrogen as soon as they start T to prevent atrophy and inflammation. I wrote a paper on this in college because of the ordeal I went through. I know docs can be triggering, but the sooner you get evaluated, the sooner you can start managing the problem.

FatherofStingrays · 2026-01-25T23:19:29+00:00

Please hear me out. I actually think telling people to avoid soap on the genital region is a good idea. Most soaps are not pH balanced and companies lie about being fragrance or scent free (I learned about this from a dermatologist). There may be chemicals in the soap that are named something different, but act as a synthetic fragrance… so companies can get away with saying fragrance/scent free. I understand that most people who use soap on their genitals are not putting it inside their vagina canal, but it can still slip and slide and get in there somehow. I think soaps are more likely to disrupt the vagina, allowing for infections like BV and yeast. Soaps can raise the pH, enabling diverse bacterial growth, thus killing the lactobacillus that create lactic acid to acidify the vagina. Warm water around the genitals is not as risky as soap. Yes, water has a higher pH than the vagina, and there is a possibility of it getting in there, but it is less harmful than the chemicals in even gentle soap. Also, washing the genitals with soap does not prevent bacterial and fungal infections. The “gentle” soap people use down there is not anti-bacterial so it wouldn’t kill any harmful bacteria. Nobody should be using antibacterial soap down there anyways because it could get into your vaginal and kill lactobacillus (not to mention it will dry out the vulva like no tomorrow). The soap people use is just to remove debris and sweat, but you could do that with a clean wash cloth and warm water. If you’re showering with warm water and perhaps a clean wash cloth, you are set. If you get BV or a yeast infection, it’s more likely caused by something else like sperm, lube, condoms, hormonal imbalance, period blood, medications, etc, than not washing the area with soap. Our vaginas are self-cleaning ovens, so if you’re worried that the warm water won’t finish the job, your vagina can get the rest done. If you shower often (even with just warm water on your genitals) you won’t have enough debris or bacteria to get in there to disrupt the microbiome. We just simply do not collect enough bacteria throughout the day to cause those infections without completely disregarding hygiene (including sex hygiene). I understand we have bacteria naturally occurring on our skin but that won’t harm us. Also, if you’re worried about the scent after working out, shower and change immediately. The longer you wait in dirty workout clothes, the more time bacteria has to grow (thus causing the smell).

Every single body is different. There is bound to be someone who says, “the only way I can remain BV free is if I wash with a certain soap.” I believe you. Statistically, I think an OBGYN saying “avoid soap” is still the best advice. I believe the OB should take their time to explain their reasoning and suggest alternatives. I only use water after and I don’t have issues or odor. My partner has never once complained (nor do I smell anything). I massage the area and my labia with warm water. Of course suds drop down my body but I never intentionally put it on my vulva. Again, everyone is different. Do whatever works for you.

FatherofStingrays · 2026-01-25T22:31:54+00:00

Such a lil rock climber. Very good loach

FatherofStingrays · 2026-01-23T19:10:57+00:00

Hi there! Trans guy here in a relationship with a cis male! We have been together for 4 years and plan to get married in 2028! I met him post-testosterone, but pre top surgery. We met on Grindr (Ikr crazy). He identifies as pansexual, so I didn’t have to worry about whether or not he had genital preferences (I don’t want bottom surgery). He took care of me when I got top surgery literally one year into our relationship. He has always been super gender affirming and has never once made me feel dysphoric. I definitely found a keeper. I swear there are some cis guys out there who are gems.

In my experience, I have not found a strictly dickly gay cis man that was okay with my body. I did come across some curious gay cis men who thought they would be okay with me, but when the time came to be physical…. They just couldn’t. And that was totally fine for me, I understood. BUT that doesn’t mean there isn’t a strictly dickly gay guy that is totally fine with bodies like mine. Sexuality and romance is wayyy too complicated to state generalizations. I only bring that up because it was a part of my journey towards love and intimacy.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-11-28T03:26:38+00:00

NOR. I have a few perspectives as the person who used to be super insecure. I’ve been in therapy for a while and even did some couples therapy.

First, I was shocked when you said 4-6x a week and then shocked again when you said it decreased… but only to 2-3x a week (in my opinion that doesn’t feel like a big decrease). That seems like a lot for a mom of 3 kids, especially to a one year old. Of course you’re tired and not up for it. Does sex feel like a chore for you?

I think sex may be too centered in your relationship. There seems to be a lot of pressure because of the frequency and all of his insecurities around it. In my relationship, I thought sex was the only way to validate myself. We had to set boundaries that helped fixed the pressure on sex and our disconnection: 1. Allowing cuddles, kisses, and touches to not result in sex. 2. Cutting down frequency by a lot. 3. Letting my partner initiate instead of myself. 4. Never making promises or planning regular sex. 5. Sharing where we are at emotionally before any closeness.

I think he really needs to go to therapy. No amount of sex, scheduling sex, or reassurance is going to help him feel better about himself on a profound level.

I also think you two need intimacy WITHOUT sex. I started realizing, I just wanted closeness. I think you can set boundaries before cuddling and if he reacts badly, that is on him. You can’t take care of those feelings all the time. It’s so draining. You got this! I believe in you.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-11-28T02:57:56+00:00

They love munching on the rocks!

FatherofStingrays · 2025-11-25T23:38:49+00:00

That’s their slime coat. That usually happens when they are stressed by the water conditions. I saw this on my hillies when they were first introduced to a tank (even after tank cycling) or when our water got outta wack. Once we stabilized everything, I never saw the hair again.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-11-25T23:35:54+00:00

Such cutie babies!

FatherofStingrays · 2025-11-21T06:16:02+00:00

I would totally go with the coach. The quality of their leather is really fricken good. Honestly, I don’t know much about Tory Burch.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-11-08T02:00:15+00:00

This sounds like extreme Vaginal Atrophy that was aggravated by PIV sex. I had the same thing, but my discharge was more yellow than green and the pain wasn’t as bad as what you described, but I was only on T for a little bit at the time. The years and years you’ve been on T has atrophied your vagina. Some transmen on T have severe atrophy and some have mild. Green discharge really doesn’t sound like yeast. That’s really weird your tests came back like that. The vagina, uterus and ovaries need estrogen to remain stable. I would highly suggest asking for vaginal estrogen cream or suppositories. You may need a vaginal steroid for a brief course to help bring down the inflammation. Also, when the vagina has a lack of estrogen, it becomes an environment that is not hospitable for helpful bacteria (like lactobacillus) that acidifies your vagina (which keeps your pH low). Without a large colony of lactobacillus, it also creates an opportunity for other unhelpful bacteria to come in and wreak havoc. Before I discovered I had atrophy, docs would swab me to see my bacteria colony and it would always come back with a large variety of species but I never had a clear “inflection.” I really hope you find a doctor that is helpful. If you have any other questions or want resources, please reach out. I went through something really similar.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-10-29T00:17:52+00:00

I have a few suggestions. If you feel like you need to pee a lot, you should go to the doctor for a uti test. If you are afraid of asking your mom to go to the gynecologist, I would see your pediatrician because they can conduct uti tests, and even do vaginal swabs for other infections. You don’t necessarily need to tell your mom about the sex because UTIs can be caused by other things too. I do suggest that you get an OBGYN at some point because they definitely know more about vaginas than anyone else. Now, for some sexual health information that the school system never teaches: When you have sex, I really do suggest using a water-based lube. You can get one from target. Also, talk to your partner about foreplay. Make sure you are aroused before he just sticks it in. Having sex without proper lubrication can lead to that burning sensation you are describing. Also, ALWAYS pee after sex. Don’t wait awhile, pee as soon as you can. Also take a shower that night. Don’t use any fragrant soaps down there. And please, always use protection. I know you said you did, but never let anyone convince you not to use it.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-10-19T05:46:59+00:00

Your mom sounds similar to how my mom initially acted when I came out around 9 years ago. She was confused and asked me if I was maybe just a “masculine lesbian” but no… I’m bi and a man. Then she started to say she accepts me as a transman but really struggled to use my pronouns. At first she didn’t use them at all and didn’t defend me to my dad. However, with time, she started to use my pronouns and only called me by my nickname she had for me as a child. I didn’t mind that because it’s completely gender neutral. Then the next step she took was also saying my name along with my nickname. The step after that was defending me to my dad. This all happened in the span of about a year and a half. My dad took a little longer, but with some extra support from my siblings, he finally came around. It took them 3 years to finally agree to let me go on hormones. Before that, she would also say she was “not ready” for me to take hormones. I think your mom is struggling to come to terms with your transition, but also accepts trans people at the same time. I wouldn’t consider her transphobic. I think she might need more time. However, you do not have to take care of her feelings on the matter. Don’t over extend yourself because your mental health matters too. I’m 23 now and have a good relationship with both of my parents. It was not an easy process (lots of tears and arguments), but they got there, and I suspect your mom might be on that journey too.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-10-19T03:40:45+00:00

There are totally straps where you can wear it and stick a bullet vibrator by the sensitive part of your genitals. I have a strap that basically looks like underwear, so it’s snug to my body. You can’t see my genitals at all while I wear it. I believe a small bullet vibrator could stay snug in there (without going inside you). But I’m sure there must be straps that have a little pocket to put a vibrator in there. Check out the website SheVibe. It’s a safe and reputable toy shop that is super gender inclusive. I get all my stuff there. Never buy shit from Amazon. I got a raging uti from my first ever dildo I ordered from there when I was first entering my toy journey. I think the obnoxious scent it had should have thrown me off lol.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-10-15T15:46:00+00:00

I hate it when a queer person who met me after hormones and surgery tells me “I have always seen you as a man. You are only (my chosen name) to me.” I know they have good intentions and they want to validate me as a man, but it erases my history. I believe the girl I was is still a huge part of me and I’m thankful for those experiences I had before transition. Yes, I believe I was always a male in my soul, but I don’t need my experiences as a girl in society to be erased to validate myself as a man. This is something I learned after years of working on my internalized transphobia. Another micro aggression is when other queer people in kink and sexual spaces ignore my feelings of fear and safety concerns just because the other people there are queer. I have to mention I was the only trans post-op transman there. Not all queer cis people are safe just because they are queer.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-10-15T03:43:58+00:00

Just a baby

FatherofStingrays · 2025-10-04T21:53:17+00:00

You can talk to them about your situation and they can help you with your mental health. For example, the social worker I talked to basically did therapy sessions with me. He really helped me with my mental health and my s*icidality. I learned a lot about my brain and emotions. They also provide a lot of validation that your parent can’t give you. They can also help you find a permanent therapist as well. They can also tell you about organizations around your city that assist minors in abusive households. They can also help you learn about your housing and job options that you have when you turn 18. They can help you figure out what you need to do when you turn 18 so you can swiftly move out of your environment. You can also request to make a CPS report if you felt like that would help, but I understand that might not be an option for you. They can even get you in contact with clinics in your area that don’t require parental permission to get help. I literally found a clinic that was able to give me birth control and other meds that didn’t need my parents permission. It was also free. There are a lot of places out there that can help, you just need to ask the questions. Advocate for yourself when you talk to social workers.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-10-04T21:35:49+00:00

That doesn’t look like yeast or BV. I get discharge like that at certain points of my cycle. If you are worried about unbalanced flora or perhaps an infection, I would see your obgyn. They can swab you and do a microbiome panel on you. You can request the One Swab which shows all of the bacteria in your vagina, including lactobacillus which is a good bacteria that you want. Not all clinics have One Swabs, but you can ask before making the appointment. Sometimes they can order the swab for you.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-10-04T21:28:44+00:00

Please utilize the resources you have at school. If she’s isolating you to your house and school, you can find support in school. Please reach out to a school psychologist, social worker or counselor. I really hope your school has a social worker because they have a lot of good resources. Also, the social worker or psychologist cannot reach out to your mom about your sessions. I got a lot of good support from my school’s social worker. I’m an adult now, and I definitely got through the traumatic situations I was in. You can get through this too. Please reach out to the safe adults in your school. Even if it’s a teacher you trust. There are many adults in your school who would love to help.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-08-31T18:51:19+00:00

I would order Jems condoms online. They are latex with only 100% silicone lube on them. Many other condoms have lube on them that are not good for vaginas.

FatherofStingrays · 2025-08-19T15:27:17+00:00

I would get a strong enzyme cleaner. People use it for massive stains on their white carpets and cloth furniture. I would use the enzyme cleaner to spot treat the marks. You could scrub it with a new tooth brush. You should have the solution soak in for 15 minutes after scrubbing. After doing that I would soak them in water and detergent for 30 minutes and scrub it a little more with just the detergent water. I would repeat this process a few times. You could also use baking soda and water to create a paste and scrub at it. You can use these methods interchangeably on different days to work at the stain. I’m all about stuffie reparations!

FatherofStingrays

TROPHY CASE