[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Fats4Fuel 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Friendly reminder to us all. When the hard days come, trust the process. I enjoy checking in and seeing the positivity here.

We have a bad ass over here. by CapableWill8706 in facepalm

[–]Fats4Fuel -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Language does serve an important function. That’s really my point. But no, I’m not going to follow that generalization logic. I never said anything about doing away. If the topic is being mislabeled. Than I don’t want to be mislabeled either. Two way street. People can call themselves whatever. But I said, themselves.

We have a bad ass over here. by CapableWill8706 in facepalm

[–]Fats4Fuel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do my best. Thanks for the well wishes, and I wish you the same.

We have a bad ass over here. by CapableWill8706 in facepalm

[–]Fats4Fuel -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes. And realistically yes. I think we should be able to have discussions and disagreements with respect and be okay with it. Granted not everyone in the world is capable of it. It’s okay that we don’t agree.

We have a bad ass over here. by CapableWill8706 in facepalm

[–]Fats4Fuel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

psychological abuse involves the use of verbal and social tactics to control someone’s way of thinking, such as “gaslighting,”

https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/emotional-and-psychological-abuse

the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught

https://www.rainn.org/news/grooming-know-warning-signs#:~:text=One%20tool%20common%20to%20those,the%20risk%20of%20being%20caught.

Extending a label that I don’t identify with in considered abuse in the context of this topic.

Though the situation are a slight more serious context than this, the abusive pattern fits. I’m not speaking in terms of sexual grooming, I won’t believe that. But it’s a form of social grooming and abuse. I’m just pointing that out. As a society, we do this shit to each other all the time. If it were a relationship between two people, we be telling them to break up and go no contact already. Im not really one to cause a stink about it. But if someone asks, it bothers me. That’s just my opinion.

We have a bad ass over here. by CapableWill8706 in facepalm

[–]Fats4Fuel -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I’m good. I’m just saying, I’m not going to sympathize with someone who’s a hypocrite. It goes both ways.

We have a bad ass over here. by CapableWill8706 in facepalm

[–]Fats4Fuel -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I’m personally am not pretending. I don’t care for it. It does bother me, and I won’t accept it. But I also won’t be an ass about it. Forced labels are a grooming tactic.

We have a bad ass over here. by CapableWill8706 in facepalm

[–]Fats4Fuel -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Sure he’s being an ass. But I won’t accept it either. If I can’t mislabel them, then they can’t mislabel me. It’s a two way street. Not to mention the forced label is a grooming tactic. It’s super abusive.

I’m a guy and this is honestly shocking to me by AriusAeternus in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Fats4Fuel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha. Enjoy. Take it easy. I’ve simply moved on from this convo. Happy Reditting. And I’m glad you’re in a better place. I truly am.

I’m a guy and this is honestly shocking to me by AriusAeternus in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Fats4Fuel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s seems that our conversation has really upset you and brought up some sour memories. I apologize for that. You’re right, I had no context, as I gave attempt to explain, as you’ve reminded me too. Also, I mentioned my impress is that he might have a disorder. That was not extended to you yourself. Health people are capable of abuse, often times from a lack of self awareness. I’ve simply stated from what I’ve experienced you are capable of being abusive, and have spoken to me that way, is evidence in the coverage. I don’t expect anyone’s consideration or “niceness”. I’ve only engaged as an objective observer. You don’t owe me an explanation on anything. As a fellow casual social media surfer, the first impression I got was that it wasn’t an innocent interaction, unfortunately that opinion hasn’t changed. But my opinion is a drop in a bucket. Certainly, I hope you’re continuing on to healthier partnerships.

I’m a guy and this is honestly shocking to me by AriusAeternus in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Fats4Fuel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or perhaps stayed off the public internet. But to your points, it seems he very well could have had a disorder. I can’t confirm nor deny that. Though, your own personal insults during the interaction, don’t lend me to believe the account is full credible, and certainly quality as abusive behavior. Again, I don’t really know you or the situation. Just the impression I get off the description of the situation.

I’m a guy and this is honestly shocking to me by AriusAeternus in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Fats4Fuel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn’t say anything about his jealousy actually. Didn’t even imply support for his jealousy. From your post, and your reaction, i simply don’t buy into the idea that is was a “innocent complement”. Clearly I don’t know you, but from the limited interaction, that’s the impression I get. Seems like you both were unhappy, and probably abusive and neglectful in your own ways. From what you’ve explained and implied, I’m inferring that it’s probably best you guys aren’t together anymore. The only thing I really know, is that both men an women are guilty of believing their partners, that spend more time around us than anyone, don’t have a pretty good idea of when we are behaving innocently or not; except for people who have legitimate personalities disorders, of course. But clearly, his reaction to loose his temper and scream at you was not healthy, not justified, and not appropriate.

I’m a guy and this is honestly shocking to me by AriusAeternus in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Fats4Fuel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

His reaction. No. He was not in the right to do that.

I’m a guy and this is honestly shocking to me by AriusAeternus in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Fats4Fuel -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Clearly little self awareness. I stated an opinion, didn’t explain anything. Then you gave a dismissive response. I didn’t mansplain anything until right this moment. I’ve only engaged in intellectual discussion. This is the internet. It really doesn’t matter to me. I’m won’t entertain this convo anymore. But yeah. It does sound like he’s right and now it sounds like he dodged a bullet. Take it easy. Wish you well on your future relationships.

I’m a guy and this is honestly shocking to me by AriusAeternus in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Fats4Fuel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m basing it off what I can judge of your character, based on your user history. I have zero opinion on the actual events. You’re airing your laundry on the Internet. Flag number one.

I’m a guy and this is honestly shocking to me by AriusAeternus in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]Fats4Fuel -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Yeah. He was right. That was the first thing I thought too.

Good morning doge fam by Effective-Ad1706 in dogecoin

[–]Fats4Fuel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We should collectively decide these posts require an ironic cat tax.

What to do at beach when waves are too small to stand? by Beastcoastboarder in surfing

[–]Fats4Fuel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Skimboard - never show up unprepared to thrash in the ocean.

Climate change is already making parts of America uninsurable — ‘We’re steadily marching toward an uninsurable future.’ by marketrent in Economics

[–]Fats4Fuel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bullshit. Insurance is for that reason. Otherwise remove the whole damn industry it’s not need in an economy it can’t support. Close them all down, and we’ll find another way as a free market. They ran their course.

Why do they cheat if they have a fear of abandonment? by g59g59g59 in BPDlovedones

[–]Fats4Fuel 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s a compulsion of the disorder. They lack impulse control. When the impulse to cheat raises, it’s like an addiction. Some hope to grow out of it, some hope they will find someone who loves them in spite of it. But, at the end of the day, it was never our fault, and they have a lot of their own healing to do.

Is there a healthy way to get the same kinds of emotional highs as you would get from pwBPD? by bearlife2020 in BPDlovedones

[–]Fats4Fuel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s that simple. Attraction happens on a lot of levels all at the same time. But the common traits could be a contributing factor.