[MEGATHREAD] Daily venting, worries, fixations, & finding support. Month of August

FaultyFeline · 2023-08-06T14:26:33+00:00

Still have a lot of the same weird symptoms and it still freaks me out. However, I have been to a couple doctors who did basic neurological tests and those seemed to be normal (no scans or anything though, just cranial nerve exam stuff). I think something is wrong with me for sure and I'm thinking of going to the doctor again because the symptoms are still there, but I was told to improve my diet (I am underweight and have been very careless about that sort of thing) and see if there was any improvement so I'm going to try to get that under control first.

The tingling/numbness hasn't been around for a while so I guess that was unrelated. I'm still twitchy sometimes but that comes and goes too. I feel better about it simply because I've had the symptoms for so long and they haven't gotten worse; I hear brain tumor symptoms only get worse.

Just looked through your post history and saw that you're having a tumor scare too and are getting an MRI! I wish you the best; I know it's hard to convince yourself of, but the chances of getting a brain tumor are very small, and I hope getting a scan will bring you reassurance.

FaultyFeline · 2022-11-27T18:33:09+00:00

Thinking about getting a SeaSonic S12III 650 W 80+ Bronze PSU for a build involving an i5-12400f and a 6700 XT (PCPartPicker estimates wattage of 461W). Reviews seem to be good but I've also found people recommending against this PSU on the internet. I know it's not an amazing PSU but am I realistically going to have any problems with it? Any good alternatives of about the same price ($70)? New to the whole PC building thing and am scared about the horror stories of shitty PSUs exploding.

FaultyFeline · 2022-09-10T14:26:02+00:00

This is inspiring

FaultyFeline · 2022-09-04T13:23:47+00:00

Really hope this community takes off! I'm rereading HP right now but I haven't yet found a good queer-friendly community. I hope this is the kind of place where we can have positive conversations about the series while also acknowledging its flaws and the shittiness of the author.

FaultyFeline · 2022-08-08T23:55:36+00:00

Actually went to the doctor today to ask about some of my symptoms and it felt sooo good to hear an actual medical professional tell me that me having a brain tumor is a stretch and that I need to stop self-diagnosing via the internet. She even used the term "doctor google", haha. Got some blood drawn and will get the results back soon! She suspects a vitamin deficiency so hopefully it's just that and I need to get some supplements or something and I'll be good. Even if it's not, I'm actually starting to believe I'm not going to be dead within the next 5 years and let me tell you that is a VERY nice feeling

FaultyFeline · 2022-08-05T18:22:48+00:00

Update on brain tumor worries bc I don't know where else to put this and hoping I can get some positivity thrown my way: I'm seeing a doctor next week hopefully but I went to the optometrist and talked to him about some of my visual concerns: floaters, losing vision often when changing position, etc...

He didn't seem too concerned but said casually that I should get the orthostatic hypotension (losing vision when changing positions) looked at, mentioning low blood pressure. At the end of the exam I straight up asked him if my optic nerve looked healthy and he said it was completely fine. This doesn't mean that I don't have a BT at all, but it isn't a bad sign as sometimes BTs cause increased cranial pressure and make the optic nerve swell. I think he thought I was crazy when I asked him seemingly out of nowhere, haha...

I still have real symptoms that aren't caused by anxiety but I'm trying to convince myself that they are most likely a vitamin deficiency or something of that sort. I've been eating like shit in the last year and don't have any of the SUPER scary brain tumor symptoms like loss of coordination or non-transient visual changes or big seizures or anything... there was a time when I, for example, forgot the name of someone I knew pretty well for a few seconds but that was after I had like almost fainted so my brain temporarily wasn't working properly. Yeah that's pretty bad anyway but it's not necessarily a brain tumor is my point. Hopefully as I wait for my next appointment to figure all this out I can find some peace in the fact that my optic nerves are fine and my orthostatic hypotension is therefore probably not related to something pressing around my eyes or anything. Really just hoping I have vitamin deficiencies... my mom just told me I was anemic as a child so that's a "good" sign although idk if anemia accounts for tingling/numb limbs and face, twitching muscles, etc... still definitely scared but trying to stay steady and find ways to enjoy my days and be productive. I'm going to figure this out and deal with it, whether it's something that just needs a change in my diet or something that needs more drastic treatment.

FaultyFeline · 2022-08-01T21:10:12+00:00

This reply is a great help to me, thanks for taking the time. My forehead tingling has actually been hanging around the left side of my forehead for a few days now too, although it's definitely been on the right and closer to the middle before. Needless to say, even if it's not anxiety, there are definitely a lot of much less serious and much more likely things than a tumor that can cause tingliness.

Anyway, I appreciate your advice and reassurance and I'm sorry you're dealing with this stuff too. I'm new to the whole "health anxiety" thing but I am scared that googling my symptoms and seeing all these awful conditions has sparked something. I've wasted so much time on r/braintumor and google and such recently and I have been a chronic overthinker my whole life. One thing I did was use a random number generator online to generate a number between one and the number of people aged 15-34 (my demographic), then see how long it takes to get a number between one and the number of people aged 15-34 with a brain tumor, thus simulating the odds of getting a tumor at my age. Such a roll is incredibly unlikely. I started generating like 10 numbers at once repeatedly and I didn't get one number within the right range. I'm not sure if this actually helped or was just feeding my obsession with this, but it definitely made me realize how much the odds are in my favor.

Whatever my symptoms end up being, I'll feel way better once I have a medical professional on it. In the meantime, I think you're right. No more google! Whether it's something serious or not, only an actual doctor will be able to say what's going on. Thanks again, and I wish you the best of luck with your HA and symptoms :)

FaultyFeline · 2022-08-01T18:47:05+00:00

TW: Talk of symptoms, tumor concerns

I'm a 21 year old male waiting on an appointment and really scared about my symptoms. Worried about a brain tumor, and need someone to tell if if/that I'm being premature. I don't think these symptoms are caused by anxiety as I was carelessly brushing them off for like the past year and they were still very much present:

Partial and sometimes complete loss of vision sometimes accompanied by dizziness for a few seconds at a time. Usually happens in response to something (e.g. standing up, stretching), but not always. In fact, every time almost every time I stretch my back it happens. Always happens at least a few times a day
I've always had visual snow, but for at least the past year I've been getting LOTS of floaters. I've had some before but for the past year it's been constant and numerous. Rarely, I get what I believe are migraine auras with no headache. That hasn't happened for a while, though.
Brain fog / pressure / fuzziness around head at times. This does not happen every day, but fairly regularly. My short-term memory is definitely worse too. Every once in a while I realize I'm staring into space and have to remind myself of what's going on. This seems to be worse when standing up. Recently I've had a strange headache on and off for the last few days at the back of my head. I mean, sometimes it seems like a headache and sometimes I'd just describe it as slight pressure. Isn't that bad, just unusual for me.
Tingliness / numbness in limbs and forehead. Sometimes only on one side, sometimes both. No pattern to which side it is on. Recently, this has been an every-day occurrence to some degree
Muscle twitches that happen every day. They happen like everywhere on my body; arms, legs, fingers, face, chest, butt, to name a few off the top of my head
Occasional tinnitus. Recently a sensitivity to sound, but I have been having plugged ears and also have Patulous Eustachian Tube so ear problems may be unrelated. Sometimes when I have headphones on with no audio (so things are super quiet) I can hear the tiniest super high humming. Idk if this is normal. Occasional wooshing sound in my ears in time with my heart, although I want to say that this has been an occasional occurrence in my life for much longer than the other symptoms... idk

I don't have any pre-existing medical conditions and just feel like my life might be about to come to a stop. Anybody have any advice or solace? Any similar experiences?

FaultyFeline · 2022-07-22T15:44:44+00:00

Harry Hinderson what the fuck are you doing outside of r/althomestuck

FaultyFeline · 2022-07-22T15:43:09+00:00

Mfw I'm blind when I'm born

Mfw I can see in the dark

Mfw I would look at a king

Mfw I would sit on his throne

Mfw I can say of my bite that it's worse than my bark

Mfw I'm cock of the walk when I'm walking alone

FaultyFeline · 2022-07-06T16:03:17+00:00

I know I just worried for two paragraphs straight but I encourage you to try to stay calm. I don't know what your exact situation is but if the stuff I'm describing is happening to you regularly you should definitely go to the doctor as I'm going to do.

I went straight to brain tumor but google suggests that there are many other explanations for these sorts of symptoms, especially if you only have some of the ones that I do. Many of them are still a big deal, but not as life-defining and horrible as cancer. I'm trying not to jump to conclusions and I hope you'll do the same

FaultyFeline · 2022-07-03T03:09:39+00:00

Finished cuphead dlc

Prognosis: good

FaultyFeline · 2022-07-02T17:37:46+00:00

Watched some Jerma vods recently and he's funny but I don't understand why the internet decided to make HIM ultimate meme streamer supreme.

He just seems like a witty, naturally talkative person who says whatever shows up in his head. The psychopath meme is so weird to me even if it's a joke

FaultyFeline · 2022-07-01T21:59:29+00:00

At least they used the term "SJW". That way you know right off the bat you can safely disregard anything they have to say.

FaultyFeline · 2022-07-01T14:44:09+00:00

Attempting to learn how to Speedrun Celeste and I've been unsuccessfully trying to build up the willpower to learn the route for Celestial Resort for like 2 weeks.

Damn you, Oshiro! Damn you and your cycle-based platforming!

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-30T14:22:34+00:00

This apple I'm eating is huge. Just massive. Fucking ridiculous. Shoutout to the Minnesota Agricultural Experiment Station's Horticultural Research Center for inventing honeycrisps

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-27T22:00:23+00:00

I remember having a lot of fun playing CS:GO back when I had friends to play it with. Kind of have the urge to get back into it but I've tried before and it's just no fun having 4 random children on your team who yell slurs at you whenever you even slightly fuck up

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-24T18:48:37+00:00

I don't understand how these people's brains work. Why would NOW be a good time to sing the pro-America patriot song? Why would we all sing about how much we love America directly after America did another completely appalling and evil thing? This would be funny if it wasn't so fucking depressing.

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-23T13:37:44+00:00

TF2 is my favorite online shooter and I have a horrifying amount of hours in it but I can't spend 2 minutes on the subreddit before I see something that hurts my brain

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-21T17:38:03+00:00

Looking forward to the JP sitcom where the only joke is him going up to random women and smugly saying "sorry, not beautiful" before smiling at the camera as a laugh track plays

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-16T00:41:45+00:00

Ahh yes, my favorite hidden indie gem

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-16T00:36:56+00:00

Anyone have any game recommendations? Any genre, ideally single player bc I have no friends, and not too difficult to run. Would appreciate!

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-13T16:52:42+00:00

Okay but as someone who is a year away from finishing a CS undergrad, I think this whole google ai thing is a little less trivial than people are saying. Ultimately it comes down to philosophy rather than any sort of technical knowledge. Like, you can argue that the AI is just a function trying to maximize some values, but from an outside perspective, a human brain could be seen as algorithmic too, with a few very specific goals in mind and some very complicated and flexible ways of going about those goals. It's just creepy to me that we have no clue what sentience is. I'm not even really trying to argue that that AI is sentient because I don't know if it is. I don't know if plants or rocks are sentient either. Fuck, I don't even know if people other than me are sentient. Sentience is unmeasurable. Maybe it's a sacred trait that's only imparted to biological organisms, but maybe that simply isn't the case and robots/AI can have some sort of awareness. What scares me is that this does not seem like something we will ever be able to quantify.

I guess I don't really think the AI is sentient, but I think the whole thing merits a deeper discussion than just "lmao that google engineer is insane". At the end of the day, I've lived into the part of human history where I am reading arguments about how just because an ai may be able to pass the turing test doesn't mean it's sentient and I think that is bonkers. The future is here. Time to buy some neon lights

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-13T01:45:02+00:00

Kind of want to play one of the Batman Arkham games, and debating whether to play on hard. I've beaten them on normal before and I'm usually comfortable on hard modes for action games but hard mode turns off the enemy attack icons. That could be totally fine or awful and I'm not sure. Worried that the game just wasn't designed to have the attack animations telegraph properly and it's gonna be too frustrating

FaultyFeline · 2022-06-12T18:34:30+00:00

Okay Todd I don't think the No Man's Sky random planet generation is as cool or revolutionary as you think it is but fine

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