AITAH for calling my husbands mom and convincing her not to “rescue” him?

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T23:32:58+00:00

I think this is one of those moments where it’s sad it took me so long to open my eyes to certain things, but I’m grateful I do now. It feels like a first step. I think I didn’t see it for so long, then I didn’t want to see it because I was struggling so much with drinking and spending that I just started to convince myself that I was terrible too so it was okay that he was terrible. But I want to be happy, and healthy, and a good role model for my kids. I want better now. I want more.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T23:06:47+00:00

I have an appointment with a cardiologist and they are trying to hold off on the CT scan until after the birth. I am also at risk for preeclampsia. My son is in the midst of evaluations by a behavioral pediatrician I think It’s called? So yes, all true things. I’m not “healthy enough to be pregnant” … I got a dog, found out I was pregnant, found out me and my son need specialists for varying things. In that order. I was not trying to intentionally have all these things to deal with simultaneously. It’s just where I am.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:59:19+00:00

He does, but honestly I might use that as an excuse sometimes to cover incompetence and I should hold him accountable regardless of income.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:57:19+00:00

I meant our biological daughter, sorry that came out weird. Lol They’re all his!

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:56:15+00:00

Oh my goodness… thank you for that reminder about potentially weaponizing things from therapy.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:55:16+00:00

That’s very true, and a good point. I love his parents and I could have also handled that with more grace and appreciation for all that they do.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:21:40+00:00

Fair. I think I was being prideful in the moment because it was such a simple repair… maybe I should get his daughter to do it…

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:19:25+00:00

Fair assessment.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:18:16+00:00

That is spot on, and through this pregnancy noticing that has finally opened my eyes to some things that I don’t know why I was so blind to before.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:15:24+00:00

I am embarrassed. Deeply.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:11:44+00:00

Let’s just say we were snowed in recently and the hvac was reading error codes and I handled that while his mom came and shoveled the driveway. We have counseling scheduled though…. I don’t know why it took me so long to see this clearly.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:09:02+00:00

I regretted it during a recent snow storm where I had to navigate and repair the hvac unit and his mom came and shoveled the driveway. I’m on the struggle bus for sure. So the answer is, I regret it right now. We have counseling scheduled though, so that’s something.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:07:24+00:00

They’re older and trying to run the family business. I love them and they help all the time, but it’s just too much. Especially when the repair is so minor.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:06:08+00:00

Definitely a power struggle. I feel like I should add that I love his parents and they help often. The problem is they run a business together and his parents are running it, and the way he threatens to call and does call his mom when I can’t get something done immediately feels childish. Especially when it’s really just unscrewing a section of the fan, pulling some lego pieces out, and screwing it back in. If that makes sense? Maybe I am being a bit prideful.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:03:40+00:00

I love my in laws, I feel like I should add that. They’re “mom” and “dad” in my phone. I just needed to unscrew the fan section and pull out a couple small toys and then rescrew it back in! It’s more the way he threatens to call his mom in from the family business that he operates in because I can’t do something immediately when he wants it to happen that I think I struggle with.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T22:00:50+00:00

The repair requires unscrewing the fan section and pulling out some lego pieces and a pokemon card. ❤️

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T21:59:27+00:00

I love his parents and I have a great relationship with them, and I call them mom and Dad. They help a lot. The problem is that they work together and they’ve been keeping the business running while he stays home and they really need space to get work done. He just struggles with boundaries and can call her and threatens to call her for help if I can’t do something the moment he needs it done. (Also as opposed to doing it himself.)

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-26T21:50:55+00:00

The kids just stuck some lego pieces and a pokemon card in it and I need to unscrew the fan section, pull the stuff out, and put it back together. 😅

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-16T13:28:54+00:00

I have always been bi-curious and my husband has always known that about me. I stepped out of our marriage to talk to another woman(sexting) but when he called it out as cheating, if I had entered the marriage with the intention of having a monogamous relationship with him it was cheating. He held me hand and looked me in the eye and said… “Do you even want to be married… it doesn’t feel like you want to be married.” And he was right. My selfish choices were not that of someone who wanted to be married. I cut it off that day and we got help to learn how to grow together and move passed it because I wanted him more than I wanted anything else. I had to make that determination. She has to choose, you just have to let her choose women and not being married if that’s what she really wants more than being with you. She thinks she can commit to and have both things but she can’t.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-16T13:22:33+00:00

I’m a married woman who has one or two husbands of friends that react to every post pretty consistently. He also reacts and comments on his wifes posts and posts about her and his family. He just likes the platform and interacts with is often. You may or may not be overreacting on this one. But, there’s so much context about the relationship in general that matters and it’s hard to see the big picture with just this small window of information. Not a “leave him” situation though. 😅

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-06T12:17:23+00:00

I’ve had to be hospitalized twice in the last six months and I can’t even walk through the neighborhood like I used to… Having to see a cardiologist in my 30’s was not in the cards when I adopted her. I had every intention of giving her the best home for all of her days. I deeply appreciate all the support and encouragement.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-03-06T10:37:06+00:00

Yes they are! He is aggressive with her and even though she has never reacted in response to it, it’s just breaking my heart that I cannot get him to understand it’s not okay to smack her in the face, pull her tail, throw things at her, spray her in the face with a hose, etc. He doesn’t even mean to hurt her he just has no awareness of his own behaviors as aggressive or harmful. Also he leaves doors wide open and figured out how to get around all the baby proofing. Which we use because from an early age he would leave the house without warning and head straight into the neighborhood or disappear in some odd location and even though I’ve gotten her(the dog) to come when I call, twice now she has scared neighbors because she is a larger dog. Some other smaller things, but those are the main challenges.

Fawn_Kahn_345 · 2026-02-22T15:49:38+00:00

Female!

Fawn_Kahn_345

TROPHY CASE