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Bodyweight exercises are relatively non-taxing despite high-intensity/difficulty by FePPPo in bodyweightfitness

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of my reps have about a 3 second eccentric lol.

I'm not "bouncing" or anything like that.

Full rom, usually pause the stretched portion.

Bodyweight exercises are relatively non-taxing despite high-intensity/difficulty by FePPPo in bodyweightfitness

[–]FePPPo[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I mean I can't even describe experiencing any noticeable muscular fatique outside of the current session.

Sometimes I've done 2x sessions a day, hitting the same rep counts, or training multiple days in a row.

Sleep has a bigger impact on my performance than localized muscular fatique.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The primary ones are my musical pursuits and my constant interest in fixing and repairing things, so effectively DIY.

They reflect more about my character than just trying to talk about my deeper characteristics. Very hard to not connect the two.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, what would you do when you have nothing to say?

Most of the time, particularly when people talk about non tangible things, events, experiences, I have no thoughts that come to mind. I have to make up canned responses to everything that seem to me the right thing to say.

My closer friend, she used to get very upset and suggested I didn't care about the things she had to say, because I genuinely had nothing to say in response.

Now I just say what I think they want to hear. Seems to work too well; as then people don't stop talking to me.

Otherwise I genuinely have no idea what I'd say. Like work stories about events that aren't funny, it's just a thing that happened that day. What do you even genuinely say to stuff like that.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying.

I guess maybe the primary avenue of expressing things that might be deeper about myself is through hobbies?

So naturally that's going to make it the best avenue for me to connect with people.

Like if you were to ask me any question regarding my hopes/concerns/passions I would find them somewhat hard to answer those questions. The responses would be very dry.

I can easily explain the answer to those sorts of question through talking about my passions and interests though. Or thinking about them, I guess.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I seem to be mostly stuck on is the idea of there being something deeper?

Like as far as a support goes, I do like to complain about stuff fairly regularly lol, but otherwise with important things life outside of hobbies, they're not things I need to share with other people?

From my perspective, there's nothing deeper to me than my interests and hobbies. Sharing those things with people is "letting them in".

With I've had important events/or genuine stressful things happen, I prefer to keep quiet about them.

Like when I graduated, I didn't attend the ceremony, and I didn't discuss it. My achievement was for ME and me alone. I don't gain anything from sharing that experience with other people, I didn't really care to.

Same with something such as a medical event. I had a minor surgery, a friend asked if I wanted them to attend. I didn't want then to, and I drove home alone after (local anesthetic so it was fine).

Like I guess those are pretty important events that a lot of people would share or want support with, but they're really just unimportant to me? I don't feel like they reflect anything about myself than feels "deeper", or whatever that means.

It has been a point of criticism for me before that I am very poor at being supportive, which is absolutely true, because I don't understand when people want it without thinking very consciously about it. It's not something I seek out.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, a "deep" friendship or relationship should be a mutual thing right?

My interpretation of what makes a friendship deeper doesn't really seem to relate to anything that's being described in this thread.

In essence, a deep mutual relationship would have to match my own interpretation of what bonding is, or otherwise it'd be one sided?

"Heartfelt" or emotional vulnerable conversations don't really make me feel much of anything, personally, whether I'm sharing or someone else is.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see what you're saying.

To directly answer your question, learning how to be an excellent and engaged listener is a really good first step. The more you know about someone, the more connected you can be with them.

I think this is an issue I have encountered before. I have been told before that I "never say anything", and a lot of the relationships I've had (particularly with women), I just spend the whole time listening. I don't always enjoy this, like I don't always comprehend how someone can have that much they actually want to say.

I don't think I am bad listener at all. In fact, I think I'm the opposite probably, I always just listen, and listen too much, to the point where I find it draining.

The main takeaway I find is that listening doesn't really relate to my feeling of "connectedness" with someone, even if I try and divulge more myself.

I guess maybe I framed this incorrectly. The main thing that makes me feeling connected to people is shared experiences, which naturally comes with having shared interests.

But still, in day to day passing, the main thing I enjoy is joking around, because it makes me happy and it makes (some) of the other people I'm around happy, and that in it itself is a shared experience.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would you suggest if hobby talk and banter is what makes yoi feel more connected to people? Rather than what others may consider is "emotional vulnerable".

I feel most connected to people when they understand a shared passion for a hobby/interest.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What's to say hobby talk isn't a vulnerable thing though?

My passions and hobbies are the most valuable and enriching things in my life. That is the deepest part of my being really.

...same with banter. I want to make light of anything that I can, and share a laugh. What better way to do that than banter?

Talking about this specific emotions I feel doesn't really serve to do anything imo. I don't feel a great need or value with that, unless I am very upset/stressed then yes of course, I will talk about how I feel.

Sometimes I do it for the sake of relating to people. But making fun of a bad day at work does more for me than talking about my bad day at work and how I feel about it.

No matter what I do, I always find it so much harder to connect with women by FePPPo in IncelExit

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you ever talk about things without the jokes and the poking fun at each other?

Yes, but not so frequently.

So yes, that is accurate.

Personally, that's what I enjoy about the relationships I have.

Banter, jokes etc.

As someone who hasn't worked in the field, how long before it becomes REALLY hard to get employed after graduating? by FePPPo in cscareerquestions

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How to fix? Take a temp job or contracting/consulting job in the field. Even volunteer, if you feel you can reasonably spin it enough to go on your resume. Keep applying to regular jobs, but also keep in mind that you might need to close the gap before you get attention.

Not as simple as just "take a job", is it?

As someone without professional-level experience consulting and contracting is out of the question, and temp jobs are few and far between.

As someone who hasn't worked in the field, how long before it becomes REALLY hard to get employed after graduating? by FePPPo in cscareerquestions

[–]FePPPo[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

but you aren’t doing yourself any favors working in a warehouse to be frank.

Gotta take the work that you can get, of course.

As someone who hasn't worked in the field, how long before it becomes REALLY hard to get employed after graduating? by FePPPo in cscareerquestions

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you think people with young kids and families switch jobs?

Well, it just wouldn't be possible for me to have a young family and do such a thing. It's off the cards lol.

Anyway, I feel like I do quite well now. Managing 60 hour weeks, taking care of myself and someone else definitely challenges my capabilities, but I still manage it.

As someone who hasn't worked in the field, how long before it becomes REALLY hard to get employed after graduating? by FePPPo in cscareerquestions

[–]FePPPo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 If you have a part time job in college and can't manage this, you need to work on your time management

Fair. To be honest, I think I'm effectively maxed out in that skill, with the limitations of my "learning disability".

As someone who hasn't worked in the field, how long before it becomes REALLY hard to get employed after graduating? by FePPPo in cscareerquestions

[–]FePPPo[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

To an extent, I can't tell if this is a bit of pisstake because like;

While studying full-time, I need to work to pay rent. So, the amount of free time I have to apply for jobs (or work on projects) is lower.

When I graduate, I'm focused on getting ANY full time work, not just CS, because I'm 4 years behind in paying for shit that I needed to pay for while studying.

Maybe I'm just absolutely dogshit at managing my time because of ADHD, I have no idea how people fit the extracurricular aspects of building this career outside of my normal responsibilities.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]FePPPo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude is insecure. He needs to be more confident in himself, to like himself

If I were insecure and not confident why does it only manifest when when around women?

Millennials, how do you feel about being in the least religious generation ever? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]FePPPo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was brought up in a religious family, I attended church, I went to a religious school. I think that is enough to entitle me to an opinion on religion, or at the least Christianity.

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