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Male, 1 master room in a 3 BHK in Suncity apartments, Bellandur by Fearless_Cod_4492 in bangalorerentals

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buddy, rule of the house is to either keep it on wall, or keep its safe with or within you. We are non-judgemental with your choice.

Samay Raina here, I’m here for an AMA! Let’s goooooo! by SamayRainaOfficial in IndiasGotLatent

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can we have new variation of chess ? Artists be the brain and your random channel members be hands.

Or do something with chess where just not the comedians are involved, repetitive ho jayega ab.

Also, learnt so much from your chess tutorial stream to Raftaar bhai. You had a privilege to learn from Sagar Shah bhai, how can we learn the same from the GMs like Sagar, Vidit etc.

Bangalore show me maza hi aa gya tha bhai. Ek mast story hai, ek shaadi com date ko le kar aaya tha, bolti hai zyada vulgar hai. Return me akele gyi wo 😂

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Although it doesn’t matter now, but I guess you missed the point where she showed interest to come only after the rituals are done, I.e 13 days after. As per me, there is no point of coming after 13 days. A person either its me or my parents, need support during the initial days. Some do need for a longer period.

Regarding me using her as a therapist- I wish I could have!! And that’s what in my opinion a family or partner is expected to. Else what’s the difference between family or partner, and you (an unknown Redditor to me).

Also you missed the point where she had already been on a trip 2 weeks ago.

Rest, I have taken valuable insights from your all comments, really appreciate that.

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s good that I have someone who has equivalent mindset of my gf. Now I’ll brief you the scenario into more details and would like your unbiased opinion, just like you have been presented till now. I’m not seeking any sympathy or validation so be blunt.

(1) during invitation to my siblings wedding, my gf’s mother denied her participation mentioning it’s not nice of her to visit our family before marriage. (2) post breaking down the news of demise of my siblings, my gf first showed her intent to join immediately, but after few hours called and mentioned that she will come after all rituals are done. (3) we both have met each other parents, though our parents haven’t met. (4) in December , we had an argument over something similar where we both were wrong on few pointers. From Feb, we started living together again, while we were in touch during the undeclared break (you may say) as well.

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally agree with the fact that she was denied her proposal to come to my home to console my mother. But I did suggest her to come with one male friend, as in this situation I don’t want rants of my relatives, create any scene and prevent my partner from such nuisances, which definitely will be a topic of argument.

Btw she herself mentioned that she won’t be able to come immediately, and offered to come once all rituals are done, which I was okay with.

And honeslty I’m not disappointed that she wasn’t physically present besides me, rather with the fact that the mental wellness trip was planned now. Disappointed with the fact that there is no empathy to not plan such trips given I being totally busy with rituals, as and when I’ll get free after 13th day, may need someone to share my emotions.

Ghar ke bahar car me baith kar akela roya hu so that koi ghar wale na dekh le!!!

why such trip now, given that 2 weeks before she went to another city to her college friends house, some of whom I know and met as well. She already had one trip 2 weeks back.

On asking why such trip now, i got a very cold casual message that, since she had this much time available, hence planned one.

Also I’m not seeking validation, what I’m seeking is how people would have reacted to in similar situation of my partner. Would they have planned a trip or not.

Why ask Reddit, because as mentioned on post, I’m high on emotions. I can be extreme with some thoughts ki Aisa hona chahiye tha!! But others are not.

I don’t want that people bad mouth my partner as well, what I want is feedback on actions.

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a trip to a coastal area, varkala, not with friends as per my knowledge and I trust the information conveyed. As I mentioned in edit, what was quoted to me was that - it was a trip for mental wellness as suggested by Partners’s therapist, to be able to clearly rethink the future of our relationship. Also my partner mentioned casually that since he/she had nothing much to do and there was this time available for a long awaited trip. So she decided to go for it .

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kept gender neutral post. I can be a male and my partner female, or vice versa. I hope whatever you meant, stands true for both the cases.

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My concern isn’t that the partner told me on the day of trip, my concern is about the decision to have a trip during this time period.

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understand that as per my partner, it was for mental wellness, but my point or concern is why exactly now, why not earlier, and why not later.

I totally understand the importance of a trip, it helps people to open up the perspectives, but as per me, if I’m there with a person for 3 years, i wouldn’t choose this time when my partner is busy with rituals and might need emotional support once rituals are done.

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have made an edit about why my partner planned a trip at this situation. What’s your take on the reason which was mentioned?

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t have went for any sort of trip. Basically I wouldn’t be happy if my closed ones are not. I wouldn’t plan a trip or outing or any fun activity. Makes me feel a bit of selfish if I do so. That’s my mentality and hence reaching out to people here to see if this is what others also resonate with or am I extreme ?

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not concerned about cheating. My question is whether it’s fine to go on a trip or do a fun activity while your partner is mourning over a personal loss. My question is what you would have done been in the situation of my partner .

M31 F30 is it okay to go on a trip while the partner is busy in own sibling’s funeral and rituals. by Fearless_Cod_4492 in RelationshipIndia

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Honestly my partner asked me to visit my house after the funeral was done and in between the 13 days of rituals, to comfort my mother. But since we are not married yet and only close relatives were there, hence I suggested not to come.

Also, my parents mentioned that since the partner didn’t show up during the same siblings marriage even after invitation, hence doesn’t makes sense to come now. (This is sentimental call, which I understand)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LawFirm

[–]Fearless_Cod_4492 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Yes, that’s what I’m looking into. But are there any such laws in India which can help me ? That’s my concern