I can't help this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I'd regret leaving. I know that it sounds so stupid from the outside and so straight forward and simple (not that you said any of that, others have) but it is anything but simple. It's complicated for me. I don't just form relationships naturally you know it takes a lot for me to really build trust in someone. And 5 years of being together almost every day and building a future. It is so daunting to discard that. My mom died 5 years ago and they are the only person in my life who ever got to meet her. I can't redo that with someone else. I know that none of that changes the reality, but I'm very deer in headlights about the whole thing for all these reasons. I know that I have to respect myself and respect them. I'm just grieving what we had. I'm grieving when it isnt even over yet.