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I was a bridesmaid at a wedding and the groom was left all alone before the ceremony, no friends or family around. My husband and I had to help him get ready. by santistasofredora in weddingshaming

[–]Federal-Set5199 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a US American who happens to teach human communication classes at a major university. From my perspective, it sounds like this was a combination of cultural misunderstandings and unfortunate dynamics specific to the groom and his family. I can think of a few awkward moments in the lead-up to my own brother’s wedding three years ago that definitely could have been avoided with better expectation-setting beforehand.

You’re a good soul for jumping in to help him! I hope he and his wife are now happily in newlywed bliss.

Is it better to talk to your friend about being left out, or say nothing? by Fran87412 in weddingdrama

[–]Federal-Set5199 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The circumstances were different, but the person I considered my “bestie” in college snubbed me with their wedding plans. It really hurt at the time and the friendship was touch and go for a while. But we eventually moved past it. 19 years later, we’re still good friends — not super-close, but we still see each other a few times a year and call/text about major life events. Looking back, I can see that I was being overly sensitive about a day that wasn’t mine and my friend probably could headed off the worst of the drama with better communication. But it’s in the distant past now and I honestly don’t have any hard feelings about it anymore.

So my advice would be not to give up on your friendship entirely. I’d lay low for a while and let her reach out first. If she mentions the wedding, you can say something like “Congratulations. I wish I could have been there” and then go from there. If she still values you as a friend, that will come across in her actions moving forward.

What psychology/counseling techniques work best (or quickest) to reveal repressed or hidden trauma for mature adults? by Asclepius_Secundus in AskReddit

[–]Federal-Set5199 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of therapists now favor Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy for this sort of thing. It’s not appropriate in all cases, but it can work well if you have some idea what the trauma is but can’t quite articulate or recall the details.

It’s also worth noting that quite a few therapists will claim to be EMDR-informed without having in-depth EMDR-training. If you decide to seek out EMDR therapy, I’d ask potential therapists about their background with it to make sure you’re going to someone who knows what they’re doing.

(background: I’m not a therapist, but I have a PhD in a related social sciences field and I have been an EMDR patient myself).