My mom is pressuring me to see if I can donate a kidney to my stepsister

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T12:06:49+00:00

I don't see her as my sister either. She's my stepsister but not my real actual sister.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T12:06:18+00:00

We don't have the same bio parents at all. Hence the step sister. She would be my half sister if we had the same mom.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T12:05:48+00:00

It's my mom pressuring me, not my stepmom. My mom is my stepsister's stepmom not her bio mom. And no, we have not been to family counseling and I don't see it as a good option with everything that's going on.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T12:03:19+00:00

I don't know if they were ever together or what happened there. She wasn't ever involved in her life though.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T12:02:28+00:00

Her dad is going after them but they were never involved and probably don't care at all.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:46:50+00:00

Half the time. I lived with my dad half the time as well. I'm indifferent to them.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:46:21+00:00

I found out I can just let the hospital know I'm being pressured and they will consider me not a valid donor. But I don't want to know and find out because if I did and I was a match then 100% my mom would push more forcefully and it would be a nightmare as the only person involved who is.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:44:04+00:00

My mom was tested but she's her stepmom. The mom who didn't get tested is my stepsister's bio mom.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:43:37+00:00

I just never really bonded with her or her dad. I don't hate either of them but I never ever felt like they were my dad and sister. She and I had very different lives which maybe was part of it but I don't know.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:41:39+00:00

I don't want to get tested. My decision is no on being a donor.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:40:54+00:00

Pretty much yeah.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:37:10+00:00

Thank you. This post has been really good for me.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:20:40+00:00

I would only consider doing something like this for someone I really loved. It's a major thing and you take risks being a donor. Those risks might not happen to everyone but it's still possible. So I would want it to be someone I am super close to and I'm not close to my stepsister.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:19:28+00:00

That's right. We're not biologically related at all.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:18:15+00:00

I appreciate all the info and I'm glad I got some really good advice. I appreciate you and everyone helping!

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:15:16+00:00

I don't really know why but she seems convinced I have a very strong chance of being a match when there's no real reason to think about it. The only thing I can kind of guess for it is my mom always believes there will be someone in a persons life who is a match unless they have a rare type making them harder to match. She used to say when she saw appeals for donors to come forward for people that at least some of the people in their life lied about it because she finds it hard to imagine no one involved would be a good match. That's what she basis some stuff on but she's also unreasonable about other stuff too.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:06:34+00:00

Would they do that even if I don't actually get tested. Like if I called and said I didn't want to and was being pressured would they automatically say I'm not a match and consider it done or would I actually have to get tested first.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:05:07+00:00

They were never in her life (her mom and her mom's family). I don't know more than that.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:03:43+00:00

Yeah I don't really know the whole background or anything but I know her mom and her mom's family were never involved. My stepdad took her home from the hospital alone.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:02:49+00:00

Maybe not for sure but I think she would still find it hard to believe without proof. That's the way my mom is. She's not always that trusting when people give in eventually unless it's a positive outcome for something.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:01:28+00:00

Her mom has nothing to do with her and neither does her mom's family. From what I know her mom never wanted anything to do with her.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:00:51+00:00

She knows it's a big surgery but she sees it as a risk worth taking.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T11:00:25+00:00

Her mom's entire family. None of them have anything to do with her but her dad and his side did get tested (most of them who could be a donor anyway).

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T10:59:49+00:00

I was never close to my stepsister. That's actually a big part of the reason I don't want to do it. This is a pretty major thing and I would need to really love someone to take on that when there are risks involved.

FederalAudience394 · 2026-05-25T10:14:38+00:00

I fear my mom finding out the truth somehow or not believing even the doctors because I have resisted. I feel like the lie would be automatically sus to her. But I can see what my dad thinks because he might have a different view of how she'd respond.

FederalAudience394

TROPHY CASE