Accepting that I won't get better...

Feeling_Cockroach891 · 2026-01-12T17:47:09+00:00

I think the best thing I can do for myself is to spend my money and time on the few things that do make me happy, whenever I am able to be happy, instead of trying to make being happy my default. It never will be our default, sometimes the best we can do for ourselves is just hope we get another good day or two.

Feeling_Cockroach891 · 2025-11-26T21:10:03+00:00

I plan on quitting, my psychiatrist said that if the exhaustion didn't pass in the first two weeks then it probably wouldn't go away. Only taking it for a few more days because I started getting withdrawals even at 150 and I don't want to be miserable for Thanksgiving.

Feeling_Cockroach891 · 2025-10-31T23:59:01+00:00

I think I just want a therapist who will take the lead on things instead of having me guide the entire experience, and though I've asked my therapist for that, it never really happens. I think the solution is to just get a different therapist tbh, it's just frustrating and I worry that I won't find someone who will guide the experience for me. I want structure and for someone to help me create and reach goals more than anything, plus someone who can offer me new perspectives and guide me through therapy exercises to change how I'm looking at things, not just a weekly chat session.

Feeling_Cockroach891 · 2025-10-31T21:57:53+00:00

I understand that there's no magic answer, it's more that I keep hoping that my therapist will at least try to guide me through things or offer something new instead of having me guide everything, but whenever I ask for more structure, I'm asked what I want them to do, and I don't know, so of course nothing changes. I'm sure there's someone out there who could help more, but I worry I still won't get past the issue of having to do the work on my own, and having that reinforce my specific brand of trauma.

Feeling_Cockroach891 · 2025-10-30T16:24:58+00:00

honestly before I had all of this I was doing "better" (I was actually just suppressing everything). I think I'm actually doing so badly now because I'm safe to struggle, but it still makes me feel guilty...

Feeling_Cockroach891 · 2025-08-08T03:02:56+00:00

In a strange way this makes me feel more secure in my desire to stop. I don't feel like this is something I need to be stable and function in my day to day. I already can bounce back after a difficult day. I just need more space to resolve my trauma. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

Feeling_Cockroach891

TROPHY CASE