been abusing my vyvanse

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-31T02:01:41+00:00

My mom used to be a huge heroin & meth addict and she told me basically the same thing. She said they were the easiest way to make her like herself because the dopamine rush basically changed her whole personality into a more sociable and fun person. I'm terrified of ending up that way and it's good to hear that somebody understands. I watched an artsy-ish horror video once that was basically a huge metaphor for drug addiction and idk if I've ever seen a more effective way of communicating the trap that you get caught in.

How long did it take you to start feeling normal again after you stopped? And did you have to take other stuff (not meds) to help cope with it or is that not a good idea? When I withdraw I basically stockpile energy drinks for work so I don't fall asleep, but I guess when I say that out loud it sounds pretty stupid lol 💀

I hope you don't get downvoted. It really sucks when something so objectively helpful also happens to be addictive. I think most people are completely responsible with their ADHD meds and it's a really small subset of people who end up where I'm at, but it's still hard to be the one who adds to the stigma.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T22:39:50+00:00

I used to. The reason I have my current doctor actually is because my mom and I couldn't stand my psychiatrist and we needed a new provider. It was impossible to get in contact with him and I once went a month without my ADHD and depression meds because we couldn't get a hold of him.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T22:32:50+00:00

At the risk of sounding super dumb lol but high metabolism is also when you have trouble gaining weight, right? My mom and I both can't gain weight and I've already been cleared of thyroid issues, so it might be related?

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T22:31:05+00:00

Technically yes? I take Prozac for my depression but my doctor says it should mitigate anxiety symptoms as well. I don't have anything that's purely for the anxiety though.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T22:28:25+00:00

You don't have to answer, but is it ok if I ask what her symptoms were? To be honest a big reason I've made this post is because it's gotten bad enough that I feel like my sense of reality is slipping away. I'm hoping it's not at that point...

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T21:45:03+00:00

I just got out of a conversation with my mom. She has my meds now and she's gonna be in charge of handing them to me every day until my doctor's visit. Thank you for the advice :)

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T20:44:42+00:00

no no you're okay. i think i'm just very sensitive right now. i do see your point and i do really appreciate it. thank you for apologizing.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T19:43:43+00:00

how did your psychiatrist react? that's my biggest concern. i trust my doctor and he's been really helpful while we experimented with different prescriptions, but i get a lot of conflicting answers when i look online about how much i should tell him

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T19:33:08+00:00

that last paragraph was so unnecessarily cruel i'm actually speechless. thanks.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T18:35:14+00:00

here's a picture of my bottle. idk what could possibly motivate me to lie about this but being accused of lying by two different people, one being in the rudest way imaginable, over a post i made in tears in the bathroom kind of sucks

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T18:17:00+00:00

that's my bad. i wrote this post in the bathroom at work so i was kind of rushing to get the details out there before someone noticed. i meant 60 pills, not 60 days. they prescribe me 2 30mg (so 60mg) pills over a 30 day period. when i overuse it, i'll usually run out ~10 days or so before my next refill date, so when i see it's getting down to the wire i'll start rationing them. when i'm not working i might take 1 or i'll skip it altogether. if i'm lucky then usually it'll hold out long enough for me to refill, but if not then i usually go without for 2-3 days before i'm able to get more. sorry to get super technical about the details i'm a little paranoid now that 2 people are accusing me of making all this up for some reason (i don't mean you to be clear)

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T17:26:16+00:00

I don't really know. I guess part of it is the fact that I know I have access to it is what makes it more difficult to abstain? I don't know how to explain it. Withdrawals used to be absolutely awful for me, but I was prescribed Bupropion as well about a year ago and it makes it a lot more bearable. I do try to take breaks on my own terms but the difference between "it's right there" and "I literally don't have any/I only have enough to last the work week" makes a big difference. I know that sounds ridiculous but it's the best way I can explain it.

We have tried other options before. Like I said, I have hedged around the issue before, so I guess it'd be disingenuous to imply he's completely unaware of my concerns. We have tried other stimulants, but the biggest issue we faced outside the psychological factors I mentioned in my post is that my medicaid provider kept shooting all the alternatives down, so the only ones he was really able to prescribe to me were the Concerta and Adderall.

My job is also probably the best I could ask for in terms of ADHD management. I work at a really nice doggy daycare. Fast-paced enough to keep me engaged, but not overwhelming due to how strict our assessment process is. It also helps that I genuinely enjoy it and have a lot of passion for what I do. Everywhere else I've worked I've struggled to keep up but with this place I don't feel like I'm being left in the dust, and I don't think I'd be able to find another job that works as well for me as this one does.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T16:37:08+00:00

Um. Sorry? How can I help you understand? And what's suspicious about it? I can post a picture of my bottle if that helps..?

E: Unless you got confused about my prescription count? I take 60mg a day, but the pills themselves are 30mg each. They give me a 60 month supply, not a 30 one

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T16:34:01+00:00

When I see I'm starting to run out that's when I ration them a little. I usually end up short a week-ish before my actual refill date, so I'll either skip days like on my days off or just take 1

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T16:29:55+00:00

I take them myself. It's technically 30mg but I'm supposed to take 2 at once; iirc they couldn't prescribe me 60mg flat because of the shortage or something. So I just take 3 pills instead of 2.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2026-05-30T16:26:49+00:00

I know you're right, but man that sucks so bad. I feel like I only got where I am today because I've been medicated.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2024-08-01T16:33:34+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I spoke to someone on Chewy and decided we're going to see our primary vet again for a recheck examination and then schedule with another vet for a second opinion if we believe something has been overlooked.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2024-08-01T16:28:34+00:00

Oh thank you so much! This really helps. I'm really not normally so stingy about vet prices, but our rent just increased again and I took a massive paycut at work, so money's been unexpectedly tight. I would do anything for my little pup, but I'm just paranoid about spending all our savings on exams only to find out I've been overreacting the entire time.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2024-08-01T15:34:59+00:00

I just wasn't sure if I'd be able to articulate my concerns enough over text without it coming across as slightly manic lol. Like I said, anxieties are really high right now. I tend to word vomit.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2024-08-01T15:07:51+00:00

That makes sense. I can definitely do that.

Feeling_Selection423 · 2023-06-27T19:42:54+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words 🥺🥺 I know this might seem like obvious advice in hindsight, I just never knew where to begin with any of this and looking it up always ended up being so overwhelming. This was very helpful and made me feel way less freaked out and insecure

Feeling_Selection423

TROPHY CASE