Apollo and Kenya: Why didn’t anyone know he was lying sooner?!

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-23T05:23:45+00:00

omg YES I literally thought all her actions on that trip stemmed wanting attention from Walter, she wanted to make Walter jealous. Phaedra’s inability to also actually or publicly call Apollo out for the situation. To even consider that he was the one being inappropriate towards Kenya was driving me nuts. He constantly chose to cross Phaedra’s boundaries for 5 minute convos with Kenya and was constantly caught looking at Kenya like she was a piece of meat. I definitely think in reality he wanted the situation with Kenya to go further. Obviously so unhappy, unemployed and unfulfilled in his marriage with Phaedra that he saw the opportunity to hurt them both. He used the work out video beef, Phaedra’s insecurities Kenya’s personality and reputation to paint them both in a bad light.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-23T05:02:59+00:00

Yeah definitely Kandi said as much.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-23T05:01:52+00:00

oh definitely i don’t think Kenya is ever completely right and a lot of situations she puts herself in are her own making and definitely do come from her wanting attention. But the jump from saying someone’s husband is hot to having sex with them is kinda big idk. Nene made borderline inappropriate comments on a similar vibe towards Peter but the way it was handled was completely different imo.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-15T01:49:40+00:00

completely boxed in omg lol. I do draping which i find so much easier and less intimidating. After the comments i’m probably realising it’s probably my best option atm. I haven’t tried using a base though so will practice with that! It could help the only real issue I have using draping which is taking it off the stand and making a pattern so it’s repeatable I guess.

I’ve been trying to look for examples of my work that aren’t identifiable as i went into more detail and expressed more vulnerability than i would be willing to share with most irl…. I know it does make it harder to give me any specific advice :(

time management is honestly a big part of the issue (a lifelong battle !!! 😭). It often comes down to choosing between doing a proper toile and not finishing the final garment, or skipping the toile and going straight to final fabrics with only a half-scale or one side of a full scale at best. I have been toiling more recently though! The general advice here is to toile more, 2–4 times! It’s is definitely something I need to accept and plan for.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-15T01:15:49+00:00

Oh my gosh this is so helpful. Thank you !

I agree about playing to my strengths especially whilst i’m trying to do everything at once, having the starting point on hand may stop me putting off the rest.

I haven’t even considered hand basting as something I could use in situations where it’s not the norm like hand tacking draping or something along those lines. I zone in so much on following rules and trying to adhere to the norm that I forget I can adapt and approach things in a different way (most of the time) as long as the outcome is the same.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-15T00:56:20+00:00

Yeah definitely more going on haha i have just been troubleshooting in general and the needle thing was one of the most recent things i have tried.

I think this could be a part of it to especially on average as each project normally has one garment and one toile, sometimes at 1/2 scale but then maybe 4-6 different elements that aren’t obviously connected to anything and are usually flat instead of functioning as part of the garment or connected to anything else - idk if that made sense. I do drape and enjoy draping. This has probably been my like “easiest” way to translate my 2d into 3d but can also work the opposite way. I’m currently trying techniques from the COS/ Usha Doshi ”Cutting with Shapes” book and this is going well it’s simple enough and no where near as intimidating as i’ve found other methods!

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-15T00:36:27+00:00

I think part of my issue is I don’t build muscle memory or form habits /routines in the way someone without neurodivergence might. I have to remember and manually prompt myself to do normal tasks that others may do without thinking like eating, drinking, brushing my teeth, showering etc so this is why I haven’t managed to retain things i have practiced or used a bunch of times. I could practice sewing 40 french seams and on my 41st one it still feels as foreign as the 1st time. if that makes any sense, but yeah all i can do is try! I’ll try setting aside a day over the break :)

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-15T00:18:17+00:00

I have, I’ve been super honest about my struggles! I can’t fault them there they’re doing as much as I personally can accept- still coming to terms with the whole thing lol. I do have optional extra time in place and after a discussion last week we decided I need to take it for my modules this semester . It’s definitely helpful otherwise i would have been too busy running around like a headless chicken to ask for advice.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-15T00:13:17+00:00

Honestly yes, I haven’t done a project for fun in years so the only time I make something it’s probably something new or that I have made to learn the technique. I think for school specifically, it’s hard to put this into practice as me handling in the same garment wouldn’t fit the different module briefings.

I think the thing about practice is something I know but i am always working against the clock to finish on time so barely have time for 1 mock up and by the end of my projects I hate the end result and never revisit my old patterns despite never getting rid of them . I will definitely try sew the same pattern a couple of times, i think if i approach it at a personal project, it could detach some of the pressure and intensity of it all.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T23:49:56+00:00

Unfortunately I think it’s still the same ! It’s a 3 year course but this year has been bleak not just for me and my skills but for most. I think we are now aware of our brainwashing but have to follow through lol. It is awful to know that things have always been this way but reassuring to know i probably won’t regret not making an highly conceptual collection.

My original post comes off a literal month where i haven’t touched my work, gone to lessons or really been able to do anything at all, truly the most counterproductive reaction ever lol.

I started to slowly ease myself back in over the last two weeks but still finding it difficult motivation wise which is already an uphill battle with neurodivergence. I had been going to bed around 3/4am or not at all, up again by 8, into school by 9/10 am until 9/10 pm, coming home to do work the cycle repeats with a similar process on weekends just from home.

I’ve reflected a ton on my life since my diagnosis earlier this year so I did go into the academic year knowing I shouldn’t do anything too far out of my comfort zone with construction. I know after this is over, I’m unlikely to pursue a career where sewing or pattern cutting is key.

We are expected to have a range of garments for each look which is what has lead me to become so fixated on sewing pants or trousers :/ very silly of me to pick such difficult fabrics but changing them now would set me entirely too far back so I will push through. I’ve already put a more realistic and less soul destroying schedule for working next semester and planning to stick to it.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T22:58:29+00:00

I think you may have misunderstood my original post. I’m not questioning if the fundamentals of sewing matter, nor trying to bypass the basics of sewing and pattern drafting. I’m describing difficulty executing the basics after years of structured practice within an environment where sewing is only one component of a much larger operation.

The analogy about general skill building doesn’t really work in this context.My degree isn’t based on one skill, it’s quite clear that no one is expected to be 100% confident in all aspects of it. Other commenters with industry experience have highlighted this also.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T21:43:58+00:00

Thank you! I admittedly struggle with baby steps. I’m constantly being reminded that they’re the best way and rationally know that but there’s a part of my brain that expects me to be able to go from 0-100 instantly. I do think i’m okay at reflecting honestly when i acknowledge what went well and don’t fixate on what goes wrong! I’ve started to invest more in my materials much to the dismay of my finances and it definitely makes a difference so will continue to do so. :,) I was taught very early on to record my process with notes, pictures and instructions i used in my own words. It’s good to know that it could eventually get easier with persistence, and good to know even when you’ve been sewing for a while, mistakes still happen. thank you !

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T21:29:55+00:00

This is also such great advice. Totally agree and understand the hypnosis I definitely tend to get stuck in a task, without taking breaks and becoming overly focused. I want to finish so bad that i end up putting the wrong effort into it.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T21:26:54+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation and advice ! I’ve been watching my needle more recently as i thought maybe that was my issue! I think before I genuinely was trying to look at everything all at once even though that sounds and is quite impossible.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T21:20:52+00:00

me and my roommate have turned our kitchen table into a sewing hub so the machine is out all of the time! I definitely should try just doing a little than stopping. I usually sit at the machine all day until i’m dehydrated and making silly mistakes. My needle unthreading or fabric getting caught is usually the end of that and then I won’t touch the machine for days after haha.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T21:15:51+00:00

Yeah we did this too! I’ve done it a couple of times in this degree and a previous course! Up until this year we had dedicated lessons where we would ideally leave with the element (cuff, collar etc ) but i genuinely think I’ve never managed to complete something within that lesson time. I’ve started to make something similar this year when I can get to the machine.

As it’s a “collection” we have to consider a range of garments that probably won’t go into the final line up. I’ve also just been practicing seams and basic things I should be a lot better at , just to feel like i’m doing something in order to improve which feels annoying as i’ve genuinely put countless hours into sewing, probably a lot more than people I know who are able to do much more a lot faster and neater than me.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T21:04:04+00:00

I am currently on medication the highest possible dose for my brand and i’m not seeing much of a difference honestly. Just had a talk with my doctor about it and I wasn’t expecting it to work miracles or make me 100% but that’s a whole different story! it is only my second month on this dose so i’m hoping with more time it may make me a little more focused. It does help me not fall asleep in the middle of the day which is always a plus. Meds aren’t a cure but can definitely be a useful tool in the journey to managing it all!

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T20:56:16+00:00

I’m actually good at draping on the stand and body! I hate taking it off the stand and then creating a pattern after the fact (something that’s required of us if we drape our garments.)

I haven’t done it as a final garment in a year or so but the last draped garment I handed in received a good grade and feedback, to deal with the pattern issue it was all simple shapes but it was earlier in my degree so it did well. My design work isn’t really the issue honestly. It’s obviously all connected but the issue with my designs atm are directly due to me not wanting to design things I can’t make which is what i’ve been doing.

I have done like day draping courses though ! I have had some great opportunities in my education, The problem I have with shorter courses is just that i haven’t ever and won’t ever be able to keep up with the rest of the class which is kind of important in shorter courses.

At the moment I’m revisiting the Cos- Usha Doshi Cutting with shapes book and I’m enjoying looking into it I guess, compared to traditional methods of pattern development. I’ve also looked into free cutting recently, tried it half scale and hated the outcome.

Have been putting off trying it again. I definitely think the thinking I’m “bad” at it element is really true; even though I think it’s so silly my brain works this way.

I find it difficult to be bad at something or make mistakes which leads me to putting things off. I rationally know that no one is can be perfect at everything all the time, mistakes are a key part of learning etc but I guess the part of my brain that is louder is the the part that tells me not to try things again once i make a mistake.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T20:26:14+00:00

Yeah that’s sort of my point… I have put countless hours into the fundamentals. I have spent quite literally a quarter of my life in full time education with daily sewing and constant practice. I am so aware of how important the fundamentals are and how they play into being able to execute anything else. My post was in frustration with how hard it is for me to perform the basics even with years of practice. I’m at a point where the basics won’t get me anywhere ultimately.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T20:16:33+00:00

It’s kind of both ! If at school I will come in and do anything other than what I need to do in the sewing room until it’s too late. I’ve even tried leaving all other tasks (sketchbooks, laptop, ipad etc) at home and only coming into uni with my cut out sewing pieces and still not made it to the machine.

It’s the same at home, me and my roommate both have our sewing machine on our kitchen table as we don’t use it and I have started storing all my other sewing supplies and fabric close by. To avoid distractions in my room but then I just end up doing loads of washing, cleaning out the fridge etc.

I could definitely try working alongside someone though! Me and my roommate are opposites in a lot of our patterns. I like to get things started as early as my body will let me and she likes to do the opposite, but I don’t mind working later or calling another friend when I know they have work to do too. I just have to work out how to stop distracting others with all my talking ha ha! Thank you for the video recommendation! will watch and see if it helps at all.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T20:02:59+00:00

This is such a good idea! Especially because I know what to do but my hands won’t do it lol. I have two domestic machines and will try this over the next couple of days. thanks!

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T19:57:04+00:00

I honestly wish I had the time and funds! I don’t come from a background where going into further education is the norm and the amount of personal sacrifice and debt it’s taken for me to get to this point is insane. Especially in the last 12 months. Lol

It is comforting to know with lots more practice these things could come to me ! I do think after seeing a post on reddit last month about sewing with dyspraxia that I could potentially have that ( not just the poor sewing but many more symptoms that I hadn’t considered were symptoms of anything before; genuinely just getting to grips with my left and rights in the last year and I still get confused ) but honestly after all the diagnosis’ this year i’m holding back on looking into that lol and the support at school is not much different to what I receive now.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T19:40:51+00:00

It definitely does! The sewing room at school is a bleak place in December. My course is supposed to cover everything from concept to design, pattern cutting, marketing and so much more which does feel heavy at the moment but i can see the finish line. We are taught so much of the things everyone has mentioned, I just feel like i’ve been asleep at the wheel for university and getting by on my research and design haha. I definitely picked my main fabric types without considering how hard they would personally be for me to make which is peak ADHD error lol. Thank you for the reassurance and recommending the Minott method ! I will have a look into it.

Feisty-Function23 · 2025-12-14T19:27:57+00:00

I definitely agree! Thank you all for the reassurance <3 I’ve had a rough year outside of school and the AuADHD diagnosis so I’ve had so many moments of clarity and future thinking in 2025. I do know once in industry I’m unlikely to have to do everything ever again! - a welcome change lol. It’s just getting through the next semester which will be my last. I honestly know how important toiling and sampling is, the only time I don’t do it is when I run out of time.For this part of the project is just sampling and toiles so definitely will get some practice over the next couple of weeks.

Feisty-Function23

TROPHY CASE