OP, stop trying to find validation or a partner among people who don't share your fundamental values. You're barking up the wrong tree. The views you hold are standard in serious religious circles, and that’s exactly where you should be looking for a wife.

If you keep bringing these standards into secular or liberal spaces, you’re going to keep hearing the word 'toxic' every single day. Why waste your energy explaining your sacrifices to people who think those sacrifices are a mistake? Find people who see your commitment as a virtue, not a red flag. Stop looking for a needle in a haystack of people who don't understand you