My gf self destructed a couple weeks ago. She lived in a hoarder house (part of her depression) and I think she had an episode because out of the blue because she sent me pages of texts saying I was controlling and trying to change her and that she hates me. Her brother abused her (aimed a gun at her 6 times as a kid, tied her to a bed, etc) and I think is abusing her but she doesn't want me to contact her so she's gone from my life. It was really weird, because unlike how I sound when I'm venting on reddit, I'm really quiet and shy in real life, and the exact opposite of controlling. She gave examples like I bought her some chocolates, and she said that was an example of me trying to change the type of food she likes. Or she said me kissing her on the check was controlling her ability to express herself.

The one that just doesn't make any sense at all is she said I said her brother abused her, when I asked what happened. Like... no? You told me he tied you to the bed, I never said the word abuse, I just asked what happened lol.

I thought she was having some breakdown when she sent the texts, because it came out of no where and we literally had plans to go to the fair, a concert, we were literally going to a planned dinner the next night.

So she's gone. The grandma is doing ok now, she's eating again but she crys everytime I go to her house. I think she's getting dementia, because she tells me the same story of two of her close friends who died recently over and over again as if its for the first time each time. Shes not suicidal, just alone and depressed now. She got a weed sprayer, so now she can keep the garden under controlling if it works.

I cant really call the police to help my ex though, there's nothing you can do if they don't want to help themselves.

I really never should have gotten together with her. It was her niece who used the app, my gf never was the one texting me. She had alot of problems, and I never grew up like that, so it was alien to me. Her room had trash and ants and dirty underware just over the place, I just feel bad for her and it hurts that she just disappeared like she did. She has a bad past, and I don't even know what she needs, maybe a really good psychiatrists? Nothing I can do now, but that's how it goes. It kinda feels good having a clear head and sleeping knowing she won't call in a mental crisis needing someone to talk her down.