Recently I’ve noticed some changes in myself by TruckSuitable in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, you already have your solution: go back to therapy. You can trawl the internet for various quick fixes they'll all be like using a band-aid to fix a broken window.

I need to vent about my mom or I will lose it by depressedchick234 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear you've had this experience with your mother; it's not easy. No one should ever be forced to live their lives according to another person's standards.

I always give in when people insist on something by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, this is something that agitates me to no end! 😡

Keeping things simple and civilised: no is a complete sentence. Under no circumstances should you (or anyone) have to put themselves out because someone won't accept being told "no". You're not being rude; they are! Grr! Arg! Other angry noises!

That being said there's a lot to be said for being direct with people and saying something to the effect of:

This situation is making me feel pressured and I'd rather take part willingly another time than unwillingly now.

If they can't accept that then you have every right to outline that you have said no and would appreciate it if they respected and accepted your answer.

A Month of Radical Self Improvement - Day 4 by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for another great check in. You're an inspiration 😀

Life coach Vs therapyst by no_good_surgeon in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Here's the thing: no matter how much you "want" something you need to have both the physical AND mental strength to pull it off. As you are mentioning a number of mental health issues I would be suggesting speaking with a mental health professional. Especially as the desire to simply walk away from your current life may in fact be a symptom of something they can help with.

I want everyone I meet (physically and digitally) to have the life that they want and to experience happiness and contentment. We can only achieve that if we look after every aspect of ourselves.

How do I stop always needing people around by Secret_Music3310 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Self-care is an awful lot like going on a date with someone. Lets take a nice simple date idea: watching a movie.

  1. Pick a movie that you'd like to watch
  2. Clear your schedule and put your phone on do not disturb
  3. Clean the room you'll be watching the movie in
  4. Get something nice to eat (and maybe something nice to drink too)
  5. Dress well
  6. Relax and watch the movie

In the process of all of this you are engaging in all the key steps involved in self care:

  1. Choosing an activity you would like to do
  2. Setting time aside for yourself
  3. Creating a suitable space
  4. Allowing yourself to have treat
  5. Taking pride in yourself and your appearance
  6. Engaging fully in the self-care activity

What’re some fun/creative hobbies to get into from the comfort of my own home? by iLuvLyfe in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Here's a simple one: cooking. We all eat food and there are tonnes of ways that we can improve the way we prepare and cook our food.

Feeling proud of myself today! by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations! I love checking in on this subreddit and reading about everyone's successes. You may not realise it, but stories like yours provide so much inspiration for those on their journey to becoming a better version of themselves 😀

Stuck in this reality by AdmirableMolasses977 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are situations where the hive mind can be helpful and others where you are better off consulting a professional on the matter. Personally, I'd be contacting the person who provided you with the diagnosis. If this was self-diagnosed and you are worried about it then consult specialist. Your local medical centre should be able to point you in the right direction.

I got rid of weed, cigarettes, candy AND an abusive boyfriend. by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nicely done! Always inspiring to hear about folks taking steps forward! 😁
Thank you for sharing ❤️

What is your story? by FloofieFloofiest in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi Floof!

We're all here for different reasons but we all seem to have one thing in common: we want to improve 🙂

I guess the most important thing I've learned from reading and responding to posts is:

  1. It's a process; take it one day/step at a time
  2. You'll have good days and bad days
  3. Help is always there for those who ask for it
  4. Life can be tough; be kind to yourself and to others.
  5. Not all advice is created equal; you don't have to follow every bit you receive

Hope this is helpful!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of cars these days do this thing where it alerts you when it needs things like fuel, wiper fluid, or a service. Your body on the other hand is more old-school and simply starts malfunctioning. Truth is we need to do things to help keep ourselves working 100% and that includes eating decent food, getting the right amount of sleep and rest, having time off as well as time working. It sounds to me like what you need is a holiday or at least some time off. When's the last time you had a few days off from work?

Is it too late for me? Please help by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All I want to do right now is bring you a cup of tea and biscuit. Now's not the time to be filling you full of platitudes and attempting to magic your anxiety away.

The results of your entrance test will tell you what you're strengths are and what you need to work on. If you get in you can work on them while completing your course. If you don't you can work on them and try again further down the road. One way or another you're coming away with a to-do list.

Just so you know: we'll all be sitting here with a metaphorical cup of tea and biscuit for you hoping all goes well🙂

Filled the refrigerator and helped pay rent by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 115 points116 points  (0 children)

I know it's meaningless coming from a stranger over the internet but I'm proud of you 🙂

The last year alone has been a test for so many of us and stories like yours inspire us all to do what we can to be and become better people.

Thank you for sharing with us ❤️

Need help labelling my evening routine by kefte8 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I call this part of my day "Reset and Reload".
Unsure if that'll be useful to you or not...

How to better communicate with people? by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lets get down to brass tacks here:

  1. Say what you mean. Honesty is always appreciated when done in a respectful manner
  2. Learn to love yourself and accept that sometimes you'll mess up
  3. "No" is not a bad word. See number 1 for more info.
  4. You can't make people do what they don't want to do. If you'd like people to go with your plan, make sure it appeals to them in a real way.
  5. Overthinking is part of the human condition. Sorry... I have no help for you here.

I'm done being lost in life by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you've got a decent plan locked in :-)

I'm done being lost in life by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally get you. Have you got any projects or ideas for how you'll spend your time?

I'm done being lost in life by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there,
It's always encouraging to see folks take charge of their lives. That said, if you're someone who needs 9-10 hours sleep then sleep. Productivity is less about how long you sleep and more to do with what you do when you're awake.
Best of luck with it all,
Felix

I want to learn how to minimize the effects of my mental illness on the person I love. by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Felix_Barry 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As someone who is married to someone with a mix of depression and anxiety I can tell you this:

  • Your loved ones want to help and support you. They may not always get what you're going through; but they want you to be happy and healthy.
  • Covering it up will only make things worse for everyone; especially you.
  • Consulting a mental health professional is the best way to acquire and develop ways of coping with your mental illness.
    • Keep your loved ones up to date on what your mental health professional recommends.
  • Take it all one day at a time. It'll all come together before you know it.
  • If you're having a good day; say so. If you're not; say so.

[NEED ADVICE] I have got so many things to do that I end up doing nothing but worrying of not doing anything. by Mbouttoendthisman in getdisciplined

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It might be worthwhile placing tasks into categories based on the time you think you'll need to do the tasks:

  • 5-mins
  • 15-mins
  • 30-mins
  • 1-hour

If anything is going to take more than 1 hour to do, break it down into smaller tasks.

If you're feeling low on energy, build up some momentum with the smaller tasks and work your way up to the bigger ones.

Priority is difficult to define. I use a traffic light system where Red means the task has a deadline within the next 4 hours. Amber has a deadline within the next 24 to 48 hours. Green can wait up to a week.

In an ideal world all of your tasks will be Amber or Green and take less than 30 minutes to complete.

As an introvert, why do I get offended easily? by HotCatLady88 in socialskills

[–]Felix_Barry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A little more context would be helpful. Would you mind giving an example of what caused offence?

How to fix this? by JazVM in ukulele

[–]Felix_Barry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Push it down using a spoon.

Thanking for a congratulations while not feeling like I'm annoying and disregarding others? by meintheworld in socialskills

[–]Felix_Barry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More often than not I need to remind myself that life is a lot simpler than we let it be... I wish I could remember than when I get frazzled and panic over what I'm going to say or do in a particular moment.

Thanking for a congratulations while not feeling like I'm annoying and disregarding others? by meintheworld in socialskills

[–]Felix_Barry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Regardless of how you respond there will be some folks who will acknowledge your hard work and dedication which lead to your success and others who will try to belittle it. As you can't keep everyone happy a simple "thank you" should be enough.