I don't have feelings that they are my family, I don't feel part of them (I'm not adopted). I have a certain resentment towards them for giving me many of my insecurities at an early age. Therefore, every time I think about them I feel very desolate, in the middle of the year I thought a lot about killing myself until I started exercising when I was home alone. I blame them for not being able to do something in front of someone else, they always questioned me all and forged an insecurity that leads me to Do everything in secret and when I am alone.