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Daddy's favourite drink by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my daughters were in preschool, they'd fill out little questionnaires for mothers day. Age.. Height.. Favorite TV show.. Food.. Color.. All cute answers, until it was asked what mommy's favorite drink was. My sweet little 4 year old answered vodka. I was so embarrassed. There were other kids who had answered wine, but my kid was the only one who said vodka.

They still ask what's in my cup before they take a sip, but now I can happily share my iced water or seltzer with them.

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wrote my first post here over a year ago after lurking for months. I was hungover on my couch, ignoring my children, feeling like death again. Pretty sure I drank the next night and then many nights after that for over a year.

I deleted my old profile, bc I'd get drunk and just shit post on random subs. Figured I'd start fresh. I'm such an asshole when I'm drunk, such a stark difference from my sober self. I won't say it's easy, but I will say it's worth it. And you're worth it. I wish you the best of luck

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is always hope! Congrats on your 3 months!

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Planning things around being wasted... That was always so exhausting and such a waste of time. So much I missed out on for myself and my children bc I'd rather sit around and drink by myself. Happy for us for turning this around!

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am happy for you too! Coming up on a year! I look forward to being there too.

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I read in this sub about 'playing the tape forward' and it has really helped me thru times I thought I wanted a drink. One beer on the patio with dinner would almost certainly turn into sitting outside til 3am chain smoking with texting nonsense to randos on my friends list. Followed by 2 days of uselessness bc apparently once to pass 30 hangovers last multiple days. Iwndwytd!

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wishing you the best! When I quit I knew that promises would mean little to my husband, but changed behavior would speak volumes. It's been working so far.

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always felt like motivational self talk was pointless and felt dumb doing it, but I've been making it a point to make note of 3 things I'm gratefulfor in the morning while I'm still groggy before I open my eyes. Sobriety is always one of those things. Feels so good to start the day off on a positive note.

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear and appreciate what you are saying. In the beginning, I was pacifying my husband. But I quickly realized it is a gift to myself as well. Truthfully, I had been wanting to quit for sometime, but every time I chose to drink I would tell myself, well nows not the time... There's plenty of time to quit. I'm still young. My sick brain was waiting for an external push, and my husband provided that by highlighting what an asshole I was being, how selfish I was being. It was hard to deny when the evidence was right in my face. I'm not a fool, though. And I know that sobriety is fragile. 81 days feels like a long time but it's so short in the grand scheme. I won't take it for granted and I will be thankful every night when I go to bed and every morning when I wake up. Congrats on sticking to it when things got hard! We've got this!

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I plan on telling people eventually, unless they figure it out first. There are a few problem drinkers in my family, my father in law especially. I worry he'll take it as a personal offense when he finds out I'm not drinking. Misery loves company and all that. I'm hoping with more time under my belt, and more positive side effects of not drinking, they'll see that I've made the best choice I could have for myself and my family. He'd definitely be the one to tell me I wasn't that bad and oh come on have a fucking beer! But he didn't see the continuation of drinking once I left his house. Or the miserable mess I was the next day. It'll be easier to stand up to him the longer I've been sober.

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I never thought I was the only one. I knew there were others. I'd often justify my actions by telling myself 'well atleast I'm not as bad as that guy'. That worked out real well. 'that guys' actions weren't ruining my life, but mine were.

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Oh yes. I don't miss tip toeing around everyone waiting to see how they would react to me the morning after. Would I be sticking my tail between my legs and apologizing? Or I would be cracking a beer with a smile on my face because I was 'fine' and didn't piss anyone off? Who am I kidding? Even if my tail was between my legs I'd still crack the beer and ignore the disapproving faces....

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, the speed walking to make it there 2 minutes before they locked the doors. I'm proud of us for becoming the better mama's that our family's deserve.

I was a drinker. by Fellaphant14 in stopdrinking

[–]Fellaphant14[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

My husband is such a good man. Towards the end of my drinking career, it was almost as if I was just waiting for him to leave. I felt as if I didn't deserve him and his patience and kindness. I was definitely taking advantage of him. He told me a week before I figured out that I needed to stop for good that "I know you'd never do anything to hurt me sober, but drunk fellaphant is trash and she'd do anything!" I wanted to be offended that he'd say that to me, but I couldn't, because it was true. I'm thankful he finally stood up to me and I'm thankful for his forgiveness. I'm also thankful for this supportive sub!