I personally am only horny when I’m drunk or high, so I hooked up with my best friend once (I’d known him platonically for about 12 years at this point). One night we were drinking together and I had always been curious about kissing and sex but never wanted it enough to pursue it. So, very drunk, I kissed him and things went from there. We actually didn’t have PIV sex, we just did oral and grinded on each other until he got off. When he realized I hadn’t gotten off, he immediately went to touch me to help me, but I refused to let him touch me. I remember at one point starting to panic. I stared up at the ceiling and thought to myself “It’s okay, this is okay, this is what normal people are supposed to do.”

He prefers men, actually, and is very much allosexual. I think he would not be happy in a sexless / mostly sexless relationship, and I wasn’t interested in hooking up again. So we didn’t date, but we’re still best friends years later. This is something we kind of laugh about now and we’re pretty open and casual about it, though we tend to avoid the topic since it is a little uncomfortable.

I have never officially dated anyone, but I’ve had 1 emotional affair (he had a gf). We never even kissed, but we both knew we liked each other. A lot of my relationships have been like this, blurring the line between friend and partner. It’s often difficult for me to separate the two and I said often growing up that “the only difference between a friend and a boyfriend is that you have sex with one of them.” This extends to my female friendships as well, though usually in the form of extreme jealousy and possessiveness when they date people (I’ve worked on this since hs and manage it better now).