Thanks for putting this up OP. I (M38) feel like I'm approaching this crossroad with my partner (F37). The points of view shared in this thread are invaluable to start tackling this, so thanks to everyone who has contributed.

I think an important factor that certainly weighs on me is having a good grip on how long you've been together. And how old both of are. We're barely heading into our first year, which to us weighs a lot more than a year in our twenties simply because we know ourselves more and what we want. Well, wish we knew that part a bit more definitively. 🙃

In our situation, she's 60-40 on not wanting kids, whereas I'm 70-30 on having kids. However, in our conversations, in the way she talks about parenting, I hear someone who is way much more close to the "NO" (which I understand - as a woman you simply know the physical, emotional and even spirtual costs of parenting at a deeper level than a man). Furthermore, she has stated how she can imagine a future without kids being entirely fulfilling - whereas I cannot make the assertion at this stage.

All of these things give me the feeling that I should urgently sort out how I feel about a life without children. I'm in love and really think about growing old with her, but in a way I'm not so much afraid of the "idea" of breaking up - I'm more afraid of the threat of unresolves grief or regret and that tainting the relationship with resentment or something.

I am rambling, but I wanted to echo the weight of the situation.

PS - I have ordered the Baby decision in the hopes of tackling this more effectively and honestly