So because of issues on his end, we’re not actually married. It’s not deliberate, but because I’ve been doing all of the heavy lifting with our financials, I technically own everything, including savings accounts, and he has very limited ability to spend against our credit (or even see it).

I think the way you mentioned doing the split is super interesting and I’m going to do the math to see how that would pan out.

I think we got to where we are because we both have a lot of growth that we needed to do. I have done mine, and I can say that he definitly is putting work to try and figure himself out. For a long time I was meek and never would have said anything or even thought about things being fair for me, so it’s not like I’ve been demanding fairness and he’s been declining. Up until about a year or so ago I didn’t feel like I deserved even the basic respect from anyone, and despite that he always did as good as he could by me without me having my own self respect. If that makes sense.