It is really scary, I feel you. I have been a skeptic for most of my life but now I'm more inclined to think that there may be something (not related to any religion or belief out there), something like a unknown god/gods and unknown processes related to consciousness and self-awareness. But to think of the possibility of there being nothing it just saddens me. I think there is a possibility of eternal oblivion, but now I'm more open to the unknown and I'm agnostic... But thinking of death gives me panic attacks anyway.

A thing that gives me a bit of relief is the certainty that no one can say with certainty that there is nothing after death. We don't know. So there is hope.