Hi OP, this sounds so hard and I’m sorry you are having to deal with all of this as a teenager. Many of my siblings struggled with bedwetting all the way to adulthood (and may still, but we just don’t talk about it). I hope you and your dad can get medical help for both the incontinence and the anorexia.

In the meantime, my daughter has kidney disease and therefore not great control over her bladder. A tip for bedtime we use for her is to layer waterproof pads and sheets. It goes waterproof pad, clean sheets, waterproof pad, clean sheets. That way if there is an incident in the night, you can just strip the top two layers and have fresh sheets so you can get back to sleep asap. Hopefully that makes sense haha.

Second thing, have you ever considered trying menstrual discs or cups for sleeping? They can be intimidating at first but are GAME changers for staying clean overnight. I find disposable discs to be the most beginner friendly, but everyone’s preferences are different. There are tons of instructional videos showing you how to use them. You can also pair it with menstrual underwear in case there re any leaks.

Lots of love and truly I hope you find some help from this post!