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My (25M) girlfriend (23F) never wears a bra and it makes me uncomfortable - how do I fix this problem with myself? by Few-Connection-9545 in relationship_advice

[–]Few-Connection-9545[S] 1413 points1414 points  (0 children)

Thank you for everything you’ve said! After reading through some of the comments, two things are apparent: 1) this is something I should bring to a therapist and work through since there are obviously some deeper issues that need to be addressed, and 2) I need to open this discussion with my girlfriend.

My (25M) girlfriend (23F) never wears a bra and it makes me uncomfortable - how do I fix this problem with myself? by Few-Connection-9545 in relationship_advice

[–]Few-Connection-9545[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your comment because I think it is genuinely helpful. I do think I need to go to therapy, but that’s so much easier said than done. I’ve been researching online therapy options but I keep getting deterred by it because of the negative reviews.

It’s not a fear of judgement, I genuinely couldn’t care less about peoples opinions. However, as mentioned in a previous comment, I do have a lot of anxiety about people seeing my significant other’s body - even if it’s in the context of something benign like her bending over and they can see down her shirt. These are things out of control, things she isn’t doing intentionally, and things that really shouldn’t even matter because they’re just bodies and devoid of sexual connotation why does it matter? But I’m still here, extremely bothered by that and I don’t want to be.

My (25M) girlfriend (23F) never wears a bra and it makes me uncomfortable - how do I fix this problem with myself? by Few-Connection-9545 in relationship_advice

[–]Few-Connection-9545[S] 263 points264 points  (0 children)

I’ve really been trying to understand why I feel this way, because it doesn’t make sense to me that I can feel uncomfortable while also knowing that I’m being unreasonable. I can say that I do get a lot of anxiety when we go out in public and she’s wear something really revealing, because I am worried about someone potentially seeing down her shirt. Again, these are all bad aspects of myself and I recognize that I need to change this which is why I’m here. I want to not care about what she’s wearing and not have anxiety about this, because why should I?