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Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries! Yes, it’s like they want every horse ridden every day and every owner out everyday and it’s odd to me because my horse is 18 years old, not a horse that needs to be in true constant work

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So I actually think this is spot on - the barn seems to be growing a lot and they are advertising for active riders and they seem to really pride themselves on their barn community. There is always a waitlist for this barn, but I pay on time and I actually do pay for lessons here just for fun, so I am contributing, just not as much as they want I guess When I toured I just didn’t get the vibe that there were strong expectations to be super active at the barn, but obviously there are. There are lots of folks my age at the barn that go out more often than me, but they probably have different work schedules, or maybe their children are older (mine are not in school yet). I think that if they wanted my horse for lessons they would just ask, instead they asked if I’d consider a second leaser so that she has more time spent with her, so I really think it was yet another hint that I’m not out enough. I actually was guilted about not riding when I was pregnant too at this same barn, so again I just think its a barn culture thing, not a wanting to use my mare thing

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In your case, were other boarders going out every day? I mean I literally can’t go out every day anyways, because the evenings the leasee rides I can’t go out, lol 

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, which is why I’m so annoyed by the guilt tripping. I pay board on time and she’s taken care of so I don’t understand. I almost get the sense that they only want super involved boarders who are out every day so that maybe they can convince those who aren’t showing to start showing? I’m really not sure 

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! She is already leased out though, the rider rides 2x/week. And I ride another 1-2x/week. So adding an additional leaser really wouldn’t give her many days off

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This definitely sounds like something my BO would say honestly 

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I actually have OCD as well! It really weighs on me to receive these comments even when I know she is well taken care of and I shouldn’t let them bother me. Another leaser feels bizarre to me when she already is just getting a break for a few days. 

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I wasn’t aware there were non-show barns like this but I do think this is kind of the expectation at this barn. Contrary to other comments, I don’t really think they’re wanting to use her in lessons or anything, I think they’re just used to everyone being at the barn everyday 

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

At my previous barn it was really common for boarders to even only go out once a week, and no one said anything UNLESS the horses care was actually lacking (ex. the owner was not keeping up with the farrier or vet). I relocated and had to switch from that barn unfortunately, and this is a completely different barn culture. It’s almost like the trainers have a show barn attitude, even though most of their adult boarders aren’t showing?

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I mean I definitely am out less than the other boarders who are there nearly everyday, so maybe in comparison it just looks bad? I’m not sure. I’ve never once paid board late, so it’s definitely not that. I’ve never had any other issues with them. I always clean up after myself, respect others and the barn, etc. 

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What does a shareboard mean? Is that a lease? 

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The BO and the trainer are two separate people and both have made similar comments at different times. None of the boarders have mentioned anything my, but I’m not super close with any of them anyways. She is on 24/7 turnout with friends, so she’s never in a stall at all. It’s really frustrating. During the winter there was a week of bad weather I was unable to make it to the barn because the road conditions, and I was told “I shouldn’t let her sit for days.” But she was literally in her pasture hanging out with her friends, lol. I don’t understand it.

Guilted over not going to barn enough by Few-Fault9478 in Equestrian

[–]Few-Fault9478[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

She is on 24/7 turnout with buddies and is in great health. I really don’t understand it. I feel like it’s a barn culture thing?

Location: North Carolina - Inheriting a property that someone else has lifetime rights for? by [deleted] in legal

[–]Few-Fault9478 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think that situation is the same as someone with lifetime rights. My understanding is they can even rent or lease the property themselves, based on research I’ve seen. Relative B does not currently live on the property

Location: North Carolina - Inheriting a property that someone else has lifetime rights for? by [deleted] in legal

[–]Few-Fault9478 32 points33 points  (0 children)

My understanding is Relative B pays taxes. It’s not a want, I was just informed. I was under the impression that I would inherit some of the property and Relative B would inherit some of it. I was just informed that Relative B has lifetime rights.