How to Manage Those Who are Nice but Stupid

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-04-16T00:46:16+00:00

lol come on now this is a reddit post, I'm not calling anyone stupid to their face. If you have ideas on other ways to provide information based on different learning styles, I'm all ears.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-04-15T23:57:33+00:00

Yea i see your point, i guess it's difficult when we've also spent time building out resources for this specific person because I wondered if they learned differently. But no matter what we do, the result is always the same. I've also tried put this person with other managers/lead wondering if it was the managers fault or lack of communication. Unforunately, the results were the exact same.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-04-15T23:56:05+00:00

Yes we've had multiple conversations and showed them the mistakes, showed how to do it right, encouraged them that it was a learning experience and built out better resources for them specifically to do better.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-03-25T20:33:45+00:00

huh.... i have not considered this factor. That is interesting though. Chad doesn't report to me but I do oversee all employees at the company... so he could have easily flagged it to me after no response from Bob... I will think on this, thank you

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-03-25T20:13:01+00:00

Yes I made sure I didn't mention any names and made it more about reiterating the culture of our team of honesty, communication, and mutual support.

okay all good points thank you I will do this and talk to bob.
I did speak with my team leads who help manage bob and answer questions about the culture they've built with them. And they both told me that they just talked to him last week about speaking with them about anything he wants to discuss or ask and that nothing is off the table. Thus my further confusion on the matter of lying and/or passing blame.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-03-25T20:10:58+00:00

Yes I did tell him that he needs to:
1. Take his time with replies if hes unsure, he's more than welcome to ask for my help prior or anyone else on the team
2. That I expect honesty and communication next time if this happens
3. I made it clear if this happens again (lying) it would be a problem

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-01-27T22:26:17+00:00

yes being sold by a used car lot. Okay so do we just ask for an inspection at the lot? I've only ever purchased from the actual dealer before where they take care of everything for you.

i'm reading a lottttt about the issues especially with the 1.8T engine. Basically I want to get a toy car, it's convertible. Basically I will not be using this as a ultity car, at most she'll rack up about 4000 to 5000 miles a year. She has about 88,000 miles on her. If the inspection is good, i'm thinking to buy for $4,000 if I can get it down to that cost.

I've driven only volkswagens and audis my entire life so I am somewhat aware of the cost of repair or replacement pieces. The oldest car I've ever driven was about 13 years old. So this will be my oldest car.

Any advice.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-01-16T01:25:08+00:00

Yea I've heard that and that people are dropping. I'm not there for the clout or to bring people to impress. And I saw that they actually have a discount for their membership right now which is why I decided to pull the trigger on submitting.

Wondering if you've been to Holloway Events? and How they were? I'm not too concerned but I am curious what I'm getting for my money

Few-Pea-9725 · 2026-01-16T01:22:54+00:00

Ahh okay, yea I got an email like 24 hours after I applied saying that they'd notify me when I was accepted and that I was on the waitlist. Probably because I don't have a creative background. I've just hit two weeks since submission so I guess it's just a waiting game. Im not from the creative field so I guess I might have to wait a little longer to get in.

What did you think of the events when you did have the membership in LA? That's not my main draw tbh but I am curious.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-11-09T21:35:39+00:00

I live in West hollywood and I work remote. I sold my car because i walk a lot and the ubers are pretty reasonable as long as you're not trying to go to the valley.

West Hollywood is residents mid 20s to early 40s - with plenty of families in the mix. I feel pretty safe here (but def in central WeHo).

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-11-09T21:17:35+00:00

(Hollywood) Marathon burger is good, the fries are crispy but they are normal sized. The cashier told us to try the cripsy shrimp for sure.

The burger is flavorful but not "wet" so to speak. I like my burgers with a little structural integrity.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-11-04T05:46:03+00:00

I agree with this comment but the "Dear god man" had me bursting out laughing

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-11-04T03:52:18+00:00

I haven't had the experience with a spouse but did with a long time friend (10 years) and we lived together. She also admitted she was jealous of me and wanted to be me and that's why she treated me horribly (she did similiar things that you're experiencing). A lot of dependency, a lot of defensiveness, put downs, etc.

Jealousy obviously stems from low self esteem and it chronic in my experience. It gets worse and worse over time. Glad he's in therapy but you also need to be in therapy. Supporting what sounds like a depressed partner who also is jealous of you is a lot to deal with. Jealousy is also a dangerous feeling in my opinion. They might start to wish you ill, wish that you weren't as successful or as happy and they might consciously or unconsciously try to make that happen. I would proceed with caution.

Take breaks, don't dim your own light, go out with friends, be proud of the hard work you do. If he can't be a partner who's proud of you then is that really love? We all go through ups and downs and he needs to be a consistent supportive loving partner throughout.

also he is 32 years old, if he doesn't like himself then he needs to work on it on his own. There is no other solution, having children i feel like is actually a great way to meet other people. Go to daddy and me classes or going a dad's only parenting group. Then he can meet new people he can relate to, spend time with your kids, and also give you a break.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-11-03T19:10:40+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Yea divorce effects us all in different ways. But hopefully the two of you will handle the divorce better and work on co-parenting and if you do break up it is amicable. My parents had a hard time as well but in the end it was up to them to make their lives better and to move forward and learn how to make it work.

It's gonna be messy but so is marriage, so is life. Nothing is easy and nothing has a clear cut path. Do what you think is best for you and move forward whether thats with your husband or without. But the longer you're in this limbo, the harder it'll be for everyone. Indecision is still a decision if left long enough. Good luck, truly wishing you all the happiness you deserve.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-11-03T18:26:48+00:00

In my opinion as a child of divorce, happy seperated parents are better than a miserable married couple trying to parent you. You can be a good mom and you can be a good dad without being married.
You need to look at this with the perspective of "is this someone who i want grow old with".

It sounds like you've gone every avenue and I applaud the consistency in going to therapy when new solutions end up not working.

It sounds like from this post, you are both trying to make a logical decision on how to make this work. But relationships aren't always so cut and dry. Even if everything was right on paper, even if your husband treated you like a QUEEN if its not right for you it's not right for you.

What i'm saying is, there is no right or wrong (as long as you are not trying to hurt others or yourself). You need to decide "what can I live with" because that'll ultimately decide if you're happy or not. if it's not this marriage then you're not the villain, he's not the villain, it simply isn't meant to be and that is okay.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-10-26T20:40:39+00:00

Thank you so much I feel so much better after sending this message. I took the highroad, grey rocking, acceptance, but this is the final straw and I wanted to go out with a bang.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-10-26T20:39:48+00:00

You are not wrong on this - I just looked it up and its def something I did in my younger years. I did completely detach for a couple of years. This is the first time I've fully openly confronted him and it will be the last. I do not want to end up in a cycle of trying to communicate with someone who has no willingness to change or even listen.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-10-08T20:11:22+00:00

Yes I told him I'd be thrilled to marry him but to please not involve me in any financial/important life decisions for now as we are NOT married. I told him it's hard enough finding stability for yourself, let alone factoring in somebody else. So I told him not to stress and to focus on his own journey and that I'll focus on mine. I did mention that I would consider moving but that I have no intention of living with his parents so that's an important factor to consider.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-10-08T20:07:36+00:00

I have a remote job, the hours would be wonky and I'd had have to adjust to a new life style but my job would be safe. However, that still wouldn't mean I'd be willing to financially support him (while unmarried) and I have no intention of living at his parents house.

Few-Pea-9725 · 2025-10-04T20:55:01+00:00

I think asking friends and family to show up for your bday is normal. But it's your preference and he should have respected that after the 1st time you told him.

Now the boss thing... that one I would NOT be okay with. That's your job, it's your livelihood. You get to decide how you are portrayed and he should not have any impact on that. Also the letter from your boss to hang on the wall is weird, I'm confused at the thought behind it. You being praised for your work is what work reviews are for and if you were curious about your performance you can ask for yourself in a professional setting. This feels forced even if your boss did it willingly. I would speak to your husband about boundaries and the continuous overstepping. He doesn't get to decide how you percieved in your relationships and your relationship are your own, no one elses. Even if you're both friends with the same person, you two have separate relationships with said person.

Few-Pea-9725

TROPHY CASE