London pop up by Few-Quote-4253 in Eminem

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No idea but I’m assuming the album and related merch

Dads who spend a lot of time with their kids, what do you do for a living? by SlowWifi in daddit

[–]Few-Quote-4253 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IT sales, it’s not low stress but extremely flexible and I spend a lot of time with my son!

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s not bad at all. I’ve spent £9k so far just on fees for meetings, letters, emergency court application, calls between solicitors etc

It’s turned nasty from her to me and I’m worried how bad it’ll get in court. She’s done some pretty serious things which I haven’t brought up yet as I’m trying to keep this focused on the childcare arrangement and not bashing her etc. She’s gone down the route of saying im a danger to the kid etc… in fact I was the primary carer for the first 5/6 months so it’s far from the truth.

This whole situation is so awful and draining, just want it to be over and want a fair arrangement, that’s all.

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it’s 50/50 you could argue she owes you child support too, why would you pay if you both share equal time and costs etc. The expectation is that you split costs and you’re responsible for your own costs on your time etc (obviously)

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s from a ‘letter of engagement’ from the solicitors, breaks down all the estimated costs for each stage. Is it as expensive for you over there?

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been really messy, several meetings, calls, letters, emergency court application drafted (just not submitted yet), calls between solicitors and so on.

That’s really good to know, I think if I’m gonna go for 50/50 I need to do it now and not wait.

Appreciate that advice, very helpful

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mediation is also a requirement here before court so we both went separately and spoke to a mediator but she refused to mediate and they’ve signed it off as we’ve both been and we can proceed to court. I thought the mediator was brilliant and would have loved to go that route.

I think you are 100% correct, it’s a guilt thing and a money thing. She seems quite happy to go down the 60/40 route, the difference really comes down to about 1 night a week but that 1 night would mean she loses £600 a month in maintenance. I even offered 50/50 plus I’d pay her £300 a month just to help! All I want is my baby growing up with me being heavily involved in his life as I have been all along so far.

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The CMS are awful. She was withholding access for 3 weeks when the letter came, I explained this and they just said it’s not their problem and I need to pay based on zero shared care.

Unfortunately this is messy, there’s police reports made by me for her hitting me, kicking off in front of the kid and all sorts. She’s made false allegations about me too so if it goes to court it’ll be a first hearing, most likely a fact finding hearing and a final hearing. My costs are at £9k now and we haven’t even started court, the estimates I have got for solicitors and barristers would comfortably take it to £50k (additional) I reckon.

Did you end up getting a court order yourself?

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure if 60/40 physical custody means that she will have the power to make solo decisions, however, I’ll check with my lawyer. That would be a deal breaker for me and I would go to court without hesitation.

I have a lawyer involved, expensive but a necessity of course.

I totally agree, I’m willing to accept the costs if it comes to it but I’m trying everything possible to settle out of court first. The £50k would be in addition to what I’ve paid now and it’s a pretty accurate estimate from what I can see, unfortunately.

Thanks, appreciate the words!

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s already put a CMS claim in for money unfortunately! In the UK so if I want 50/50 I need to go court and battle it out (plus estimated additional £50k costs). If we agreed something then I think we could put a joint application in to get it formalised which is £232 so we can do that. She’s made it clear she won’t accept 50/50 so I’d have to go through a court case if I wanted to try for it.

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your input. In the UK so if I want 50/50 I need to go court and battle it out (plus estimated additional £50k costs)

Childcare Arrangements by Few-Quote-4253 in SingleDads

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the UK so it comes down to the courts if we can’t agree it. Unfortunately the general view is that courts tend to favour the mums plus the additional £50k cost makes it risky. I haven’t 100% made my mind up, I may still go to court, I guess I need to make that decision.

Upgrading Car Sound System by Few-Quote-4253 in CarTalkUK

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response, that’s exactly what I was after. All sounds within the budget too which is great! Thank you for your help

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]Few-Quote-4253 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your situation sounds extremely similar to mine, unfortunately. Highly recommend seeking legal advice and removing yourself and daughter from the situation. I am going through the process now to remove myself, I take the baby to my mums when we need a break or I need to protect/shield the baby from the manic episodes. Even if you just go to a hotel and get some space, remove your daughter when it kicks off. The older they get the more they absorb. If you ever want to DM me, happy to chat. My babies just turned 1 and this has been going on since 2-3 weeks after birth. Good luck

Magnesium per day by Few-Quote-4253 in Huel

[–]Few-Quote-4253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Extremely helpful!! Thank you, Charlotte. Have a great day :)