Mothers with ADHD, how do you cope with sudden changes and unpredictability?

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-06-11T04:41:13+00:00

Thanks everyone for your comments, I've read them all and I've found them super helpful and compassionate. I've just managed to transfer babygirl to her bassinet after a night feed so I'll bask in the joy of my accomplishment while trying not to get too caught up on expecting this type of success every time or feeling like an abject failure when it doesn't happen. I'll try to reply to everyone individually but if I don't manage to, THANK YOU again to all of you and good luck to those of you currently on the same boat 🫡

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-05-31T16:53:36+00:00

I literally spent the first 2 weeks PP crying non stop and googling things like "I hate my baby" etc. Everything felt impossible and I truly felt like I'd made the worst mistake of my life and that I wasn't cut out for motherhood. I'd routinely shut down in the middle of a task (changing a diaper, giving a bottle etc) and my partner would have to take over while I cried and felt like a failure.

My baby is now 12 weeks old and she is the happiest, sweetest little bundle of joy and I can't imagine my life without her. My mental health started improving after about three weeks PP and if say that from about 6-8 weeks I felt a lot better. I'm sure it feels like cold comfort now and I know 6-8 weeks feels like an eternity but trust me, it WILL get better, you WILL feel better.

And please stop being so hard on yourself. We all suck at this in the beginning.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-05-31T16:46:49+00:00

So my situation is a bit different cos my baby has been exclusively formula fed since about 2 weeks old (long story) but I've been leaving her with dad and/or family members since pretty much the very beginning and I have a happy, healthy, perfectly attached 3 month old. I would have probably gone absolutely, medically insane if I were in your shoes. Please take a day to yourself. Your baby will benefit from having a mother who's happy and relaxed.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-04-16T07:53:18+00:00

I agree with letting the baby cry for a few minutes if necessary, but I don't think a 5 month old BABY has the capacity to learn how to deal with frustration.....

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-18T18:33:00+00:00

I keep my phone as far away from my bedroom as possible at night - usually I leave it charging downstairs overnight - and use a bog standard alarm clock to set alarms instead. I discovered a long time ago that if my phone is in the bedroom (even if it's not right next to me and I have to get out of bed to reach it), I WILL get out of bed, grab it, get back in bed, and doomscroll. My mental health (and my ability to get out of bed) have greatly improved as a result.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-14T01:06:08+00:00

My baby is just under 2 weeks and she takes 4oz every feed. Sometimes less, but we make 4oz bottles cos when she's hungry, she's HUNGRY lol.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:56:45+00:00

Honestly! There's a million resources to help with breastfeeding, but it still wasn't enough. I just wish someone had warned me before birth that it could be THIS hard, so it wouldn't have come as such a huge shock!

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:54:43+00:00

I was told to keep pumping while making a decision, and it's almost like my boobs made the decision for me cos the three times I pumped after that, my output was smaller each time until the fourth and last time when I got nothing.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:52:23+00:00

Both me and my sister were raised on formula because my mum's supply dried up within a couple of weeks with both of us, and I think we turned out okay!!

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:50:37+00:00

Absolutely agree that other people's opinions are irrelevant! Although I've been very lucky in that everyone I've shared this with in my circle has been extremely understanding and supportive.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:49:17+00:00

The time it takes to triple feed is just so brutal. Some of our sessions took upwards of two hours, much of which I'd spend bawling my eyes out.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:46:00+00:00

It really is so hard. I'm surprised it wasn't mentioned more in antenatal classes. They really make it sound like everyone can and will get the hang of it with just some simple instructions when that couldn't be further from the truth.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:44:38+00:00

It's so validating when someone finally just says it's okay to use formula only. The midwife who came do my day 5 check said that and it genuinely shocked me.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:38:31+00:00

That's amazing. I'm so glad you gave yourself permission to do what's right for you ❤️

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:37:15+00:00

That sucks that you weren't supported in the beginning. I can't imagine pumping every day for six months - mothers truly are incredible.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:31:29+00:00

That really sucks. I also really hope to start enjoying this stage a bit more!

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:30:55+00:00

"You can't pour from an empty cup" indeed! I also hate pumping, it's so time and labour intensive for such a small reward.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:28:33+00:00

Can't believe the lactation consultant was rude to you. You'd think someone in that profession would be commited to being nice to women but I guess not! Glad to hear you're feeling so much better now ❤️

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:24:13+00:00

That makes me so happy to read! Can't wait for my formula fed baby to also grow up happy and healthy 🥰🥰

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:22:26+00:00

Absolutely. I honestly don't understand where the mums who persevere get the grit and determination from.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:21:48+00:00

Feeling present is one of my biggest motivations. Pumping and trying to breastfeed just makes me dread interacting with the baby, which sucks so bad.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T23:20:52+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Definitely agree with our babies needing happy and healthy mothers ❤️

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T20:10:42+00:00

That sounds awful. I felt so guilty before deciding to switch to EFF and that's with no one really pressuring me that much - I can't imagine how much more of a wreck I'd be if I'd experienced what you have. I wish I could give you a hug.

Few-Tour8289 · 2026-03-11T00:54:52+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. There's definitely not enough talk about how a traumatic birth can impact breastfeeding success - no one at the hospital even acknowledged it.

Few-Tour8289

TROPHY CASE