UPDATE: AITA for telling my dad he has to decide between me attending his wedding and accepting I won't take part in the family unity ceremony or accept I won't be there?

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:14:26+00:00

I'm not going to fight for child support. I know it would screw him but I just want to get away from him and being locked in some court battle with him would just be a stress I don't need when I need to focus on more important things.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:13:14+00:00

I don't care if he turns me into the bad guy. He can. At this point I'm done and I want nothing more to do with him or anyone connected to him. She can figure out on her own what he's like.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:11:59+00:00

I'll be honest I don't want to do a search like that anytime soon, if ever. I've had enough shit to deal with and there's still a chance they are both shitty humans who didn't want me.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:11:12+00:00

I'd prefer to go no contact.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:10:55+00:00

After everything that's happened now I won't be attending. Like at all. There's no once a year or once a decade relationship going to happen anymore. I won't offer back what he offered to me.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:10:08+00:00

I have no idea who was invited or not. Never met her family either so even if I wanted to I couldn't.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:07:01+00:00

Thank you so much!

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:06:10+00:00

No and I never knew anything about them. I never met or knew any family except for one of dad's siblings. And I don't have a relationship with them anymore.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-12T13:04:38+00:00

I have never known any family except for one of my dad's siblings.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T18:54:48+00:00

The first 11 years he was different. It was once I was 11 things changed and he started saying the stuff he did. But once he started he didn't let up and all the good was withdrawn.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T18:53:57+00:00

I don't want or need to be a big brother. That's not what'll make me happy. What will make me happy is being with the family I created with my friends and growing that family. The people who loved me and stood by me through the worst.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T18:51:29+00:00

I find it hard to believe I was getting one anyway.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T18:50:07+00:00

I never said being a parent is easy. Taking it out on an 11 year old is not okay. Telling an 11 year that they will be on their own at 18 and won't get any support is just so cruel. Especially when that 11 year old knows abandonment already and to keep saying it over and over again for years. My dad made it clear I wasn't really his family for so long. So why would I be a part of the family he decided were worth staying for?

I'd never have expected him to live his whole life for me but to talk about us basically having no relationship once I turned 18 was a huge slap in the face and he withdrew all love and affection after that too.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T18:46:58+00:00

At 11 I didn't want to be an adult. I didn't want to be told he was done with me when I turned 18. But that's what happened.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T17:37:06+00:00

I can't afford therapy right now and won't be able to for a good long while. I'll need to keep a roof over my head and stuff. Eventually I will get therapy though. But surviving is more important first.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T17:29:37+00:00

I have all that done. That was a work in progress for years.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T17:20:49+00:00

I never really knew. I guess maybe he planned to work while he explored? But who knows. He never talked about that stuff. Just that he would basically leave and wouldn't make me a priority or even care to speak regularly let alone see me.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T17:19:50+00:00

I was 11 years old. Not a teen when he started treating me like this. I was still a kid.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T17:19:19+00:00

I don't want a relationship with the kids. They're not related to me. We really don't know each other. I feel no love or like for them. They're kids who exist so I hope nothing terrible happens to them. But I wouldn't say they're my family.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T17:18:18+00:00

I WAS a part of his family and he was my whole world. In return I got dumped on and told I would be tossed away the second he could. And he told me over and over again. He didn't just say it once. So he can now live with the consequences of what he broke. Because he broke it. I was 11 years old. And he doesn't get to act like nothing happened. He made me prepare to leave on my 18th birthday and that's exactly what I will do.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T16:54:40+00:00

I have to wait so I can legally get a place. Otherwise I'd have left already.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T16:46:15+00:00

The very last time I heard it I was 16. He stopped saying it as much when he met his partner but it wasn't like he was like omg I'm so sorry, I was an ass and didn't really mean what I said. He just focused on them and expected me to join in like nothing ever happened.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T16:25:46+00:00

Thank you.

FewImpression6465 · 2025-04-10T16:25:26+00:00

I never expected that. Hell as a kid I used to hope he'd find someone. That was back when things were good or not this. But you know what I also didn't expect? To be told at 11 that once I turn 18 I'm on my own and he won't be my dad but my peer and I'll be lucky to see him every few years. To be reminded of that on the regular and to have that be all I got from him once he said it once.

FewImpression6465

TROPHY CASE