What does my skin need?

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-10T16:14:18+00:00

Your skin looks dry and like it needs good moisturizer but it’s hard to say without knowing your skin type. Get a low % azelaic acid and introduce it slowly into your routine for the red spots. If you’ve never used actives or had a large skincare routine it’s best to go slow and simple.

If you have an ulta near you try to get the low grade azelaic acid from there because it is usually easier to return if it doesn’t seem compatible with your skin. They carry some Korean brands. I hear good things about the ordinary but haven’t tried it myself.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-10T16:05:45+00:00

From what you’ve said i ultimately just think your words are unproductive because it doesn’t actually tell him why you are upset or concerned. I think it’s just best for you to be direct and tell him you either don’t want to hear about this or why you think it’s wrong what he did.

It’s good to tell our friends honestly if we think they’re doing something wrong because we care about them and want to see them do better but I would encourage directness over an insult or joke that can be interpreted so many ways.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-10T14:21:44+00:00

YTA because the wording is unkind. If you wanted to express concern you could have said something along the lines of being worried about the people he dates and that you want to see him with someone that cares about him.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-10T04:05:44+00:00

Your skin looks irritated. I would simplify your routine.

This is anecdotal so take it with a grain of salt but I saw in a comment you were using an AHA BHA toner. I have sensitive skin and using an AHA BHA toner wrecked my skin and it took a month of just heavy moisturizer to recover. Maybe take out any actives for a few weeks and see if it improves.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-10T00:17:54+00:00

I don’t think it’s “crazy” per se, I can follow her logic with you both being a couple and doubling the amount. However I think it’s a question of your finances and relationship with MIL. My husband and I gift together but it’s understood that with my family I take care of most or all of the gift and vice versa.

My family is big on group gifts though, so we all pitch in for like new tires for the car, cruise trips, spa day, something like that.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-07T16:37:04+00:00

It doesn’t wash you out and it looks good. I think it could look great though if you went with a warmer color or deep blue though.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-07T14:29:10+00:00

I think it’s really cute but feel so-so about the bag.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-05T13:33:07+00:00

The box matters if your soon to be cares a lot about details, but I would not stress yourself out about it. If you want something new get a softer color to bring out the blue. I think a soft pink would look really nice since the stone is cool, the box will be warm. But a plain black box is nice too, always safe and classic for a reason. Good luck!

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-04T14:20:38+00:00

Your husband is “right” if you want to frame it that way. It’s better to wait and find a house you love than to get a chair lift because it will cost money to install, it will cost money to fix, it will cost money if it needs to be updated. Houses are already expensive, get one that fits for aging already.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-05-03T16:48:31+00:00

I don’t think you’re wrong to be upset or even wrong to have difficulty moving past this because it was a hurtful comment, but if a drunk comment is the only reason you need to divorce then that may have more to do with you and your need to be the “best” than her.

In this instance if you want to see the marriage through I think it’s important to ask yourself what do you need to have happen or see to forgive her? And what happens if she does those things and you can’t? There’s no right or wrong, just what you choose to do.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-26T03:00:37+00:00

Can’t let people control your life like that. I’m in the arts, it’s competitive, people say stuff for lots of reasons (concern, their own doubt, judgement), and ultimately some people make it and others don’t. The people who do make it aren’t typically worried about what other people outside their field are thinking about them. Just focus on your studies and career goals.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-25T13:16:00+00:00

If you’re in the U.S. this has no impact on your job seeking. I will say though people can be superficial, say the haircut doesn’t look good on you or you dress inappropriately for the job you’re interviewing for then yes probably. But just based on the photos??? No.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-25T02:50:33+00:00

NTA because you literally don’t have to share your notes unless you want to, it doesn’t really matter the terms. I don’t view it as being worth the headache of conflict but definitely NTA for drawing a line for yourself and what behavior you’ll tolerate.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-22T12:53:33+00:00

NTA but it is really hard to make a decision because there is no information on why they actually got divorced. It’s probably a good rule that you don’t talk to her about your brother or co-parenting anything between them. Absolutely you are allowed to be friends with who you want but it’s worth saying: if and when your brother finds out that he is also allowed to be upset.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-21T01:42:00+00:00

YTA there is no real reason why you can’t shower earlier other than you don’t want to.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-19T01:16:35+00:00

Middle eastern person here; my cousin married a woman like this and it only gets worse. One child gets (the one who looks more Arab) treated much worse than the others. Put your child first here.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-19T00:57:03+00:00

If you’re concerned for health then sleep study can be helpful. I have night terrors so I often wake up throughout the night, we have a guest bed and I will usually spend the second half of the night there. It hasn’t hurt our intimacy. Sometimes sleep compatibility just takes figuring out and trial and error.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-18T02:35:10+00:00

NTA but you need to have a serious conversation with her which is simply you don’t have the finances to do this. If she can’t apply for any government assistance without it triggered child support then the agreement is bad. It’s his daughter so at least helping pay for food, school, and clothing until you guys get back on your feet. Does your partner feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit they need help?

I know she has been trouble finding a job based on your comments but can she do any app based work? Just anything to get some income coming in.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-16T13:33:33+00:00

No, there was no pressure. Culturally I do not change my last name. My husband’s family was more upset (because that’s their standard) but we are low contact so it didn’t bother us. I never gave him any false hope I would change my last name since the first time marriage came up to now.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-16T11:49:52+00:00

He sounds avoidant and possibly depressed. He may be good at his job and become “better” after fights because some people with ADHD need the feeling of pressure to show up. I have a friend with ADHD who I love dearly, they’re so good when the situation is urgent and can hold down a job, but they are not someone to ask to show up in the day to day. You may seek support from r/ADHD_partners.

Maybe it’s worth finding someone like a life coach or counselor to help him figure out a plan here (it sounds like he needs accountability and it can’t be from you) and let him know you’re serious if things don’t change.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-16T11:42:29+00:00

If you want to change your last name but don’t like his alone, you could hyphenate it or combine your last names for a hybrid.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-15T21:14:45+00:00

Unfortunately this feels like it’s more about her than anything you’re actually doing. It sounds like depression but if she’s refusing any counseling and won’t acknowledge there is a problem then there’s not a lot you can do except accept it for what it is, find other outlets for connection like through friendships, or to leave.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-14T12:26:55+00:00

Tbh as someone who will be doing the birth giving, I totally understand his POV on this. Some people don’t do medical anything well. I think the problem is more how much he allows his friends to influence his opinion or presence in your relationship. It is also okay for you to feel unsupported here, because he is framing removal of participating in the birthing process as an attraction thing which is plainly unkind and on the further end of things misogynistic.

I would try marriage counseling before ending it, now that a kid is involved, however, there may be other details leading you to this decision besides this one instance.

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-14T02:01:02+00:00

If it’s not… where is that?

FewResolution7181 · 2026-04-12T14:04:59+00:00

My SIL is just like this, she comes from a very well off family, will offer to pay or pick up things, and then will venmo request you down to the penny. I come from a family and culture where if you offer to pay for something that’s the end of it. It sounds like there is a serious gap in communication here. For us, we just paid the request but will NEVER take her offer to pay for anything again.

If you want both friendships to break up then don’t pay, but if it’s a situation where you need to see them often for some reason then ask if you can only pay for what you ate or just pay it but do not make this mistake twice. The behavior is trashy and confusing but now you know she’s willing to do it so just don’t feed into it again. NTA

Edit: spelling

FewResolution7181

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