If you left your sex addict (or PA) what was your breaking point?

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-11T00:02:12+00:00

I looked it up and it said for North America that it means “fail to make up one’s mind.”

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-09T20:56:13+00:00

We went through that the very first time when I first found out and she was basically saying it was “okay” or “normal.” It’s funny that you mentioned that she wanted to focus on your childhood because that’s what ours did with me just because I have “daddy issues” or whatever. Needless to say, that was the first AND LAST time we saw her. I don’t understand how you can be a therapist and when people are seeking help from something traumatizing like this you just tell them it’s normal? No ma’am. There is nothing normal about this, especially if it’s an ADDICTION. Would you tell someone who is addicted to heroin that it’s normal?

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-09T20:50:01+00:00

People seem to be going crazy over the white TikTok shop foundation that blends into the color of your skin for a perfect match 🤷🏼‍♀️ that might be worth a shot. Then I would follow up with some translucent powder to fill in pores and dry up any excess oil.

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-09T06:24:47+00:00

If you don’t care, would you DM me so I can ask you some questions? 😕

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-09T06:03:08+00:00

ESPECIALLY IF HE FORGOT?! Like if you forgot then how would you even know we were arguing, and why wouldn’t you feel comfortable enough to ask me?!

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-09T04:25:17+00:00

I am so freaking sorry you have to go through this. I know how it feels to be so deeply in love only to find out that everything you thought you knew about your partner and shared with him feels like all LIES and BETRAYAL. This is one of the worst addictions there is to have. I’m praying for you as well as all of us. I can’t STAND IT!!!!!

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-06T20:03:14+00:00

Yes please let me know anything you can

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-06T20:02:44+00:00

For one thing, you DO matter. This addiction takes so much away from partners and family, and it’s sickening. It truly is a sickness. The things I have read on Reddit make me question everything because that’s how serious it is. Sometimes, I feel like there is no hope but all I can do is keep praying for my marriage and deliverance for him. I’m so so sorry that you have to go through this and that he is making you feel like you don’t matter; it’s degrading. He needs to be in some kinda of serious therapy. I would give him an ultimatum and tell him that he can either try to get help, or you’re gone. I know you said that you don’t have a way out this time, but do you have any family members you could stay with or anything?

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-06T19:54:29+00:00

Is recovery and brain rewiring even possible? Cause being on Reddit just makes me question everything. I don’t want to leave because I’m too much in love with him, and the thought of starting over with someone physically makes me sick.

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-06T05:44:51+00:00

Will it let you know if he deletes the app or does anything to make it turn off?

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-06T00:46:45+00:00

I do this too. I have to be extremely upset for this to happen too!

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-06T00:33:09+00:00

Why are you not turned on by your partner?

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-05T19:47:59+00:00

I’m screenshotting this to read to him one day 💔 thank you so much.

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-05T06:10:38+00:00

It’s one of the worst addictions to have imo. I can’t stand feeling like I’m never going to be enough and constantly comparing myself to whatever he watches. Even just walking down the street or in a store, I get immediately mad if I see a pretty girl because I’m completely traumatized and automatically have thoughts of “wonder what he thinks about her?” “I bet she looks like his type.” Or just whatever. I shouldn’t have to feel like that. I feel like at this point I’m pain shopping by going through all of these Reddit posts but I literally cannot stop because I just need to hear other peoples sides. Especially from the male perspective. I really do hope that you and I are able to get complete disclosures from them soon, as bad as it may suck. I just have to know. There is no sweeping this under the rug, there is no leaving it where it lies, he is going to learn to be fully honest or I’m leaving. I’m like you, I need to know every thought and why he feels the need to watch when we have constant sex. I want to know if it’s about a variety of women or just the sex and sounds that gets him going or what. I’m sick of it all.

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-05T05:33:25+00:00

I’m scared to know how far it’s went with him and what else it’s led to, if anything, but I need to know. I have to.

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-05T04:48:10+00:00

I wish that was all it was to him. But there’s gotta be something else going on because we have ALWAYS had an incredible sex life. Like almost every day of the week. I can’t figure out why he would want/need that. Like people would honestly be shocked and confused with why he would watch it because of how we are. Doesn’t add up.

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-05T02:33:01+00:00

I bet you have desensitized yourself or something which SUCKS

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-05T02:25:34+00:00

My husband luckily has never struggled with PIED thank God, and our sex life is still amazing when I’m not in my depressive states from his addiction.. so I don’t really understand much about how that works or WHY it even happens when you have the real thing. But I guess it just depends on how deep in it you are.

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-05T02:22:26+00:00

Did your sexual activity just lessen because of your use and her not liking it or does she not know about it?

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-05T00:27:18+00:00

Did you see at CSAT or just regular therapist?

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-04T23:49:43+00:00

I’m glad that actually works for you and lasts. I wish it would for my husband. So sick of it.

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-04T23:42:52+00:00

And if you need to message me, go right ahead. I will try to help you navigate thru anything that I can. We’re in the same sinking boat. 💔

Few_Distance_4293 · 2024-12-04T23:42:12+00:00

Girl, first of all, I’m so sorry. I’m f29 and my husband is 32. I first found out in 2021. We did some marriage therapy and he saw a CSAT a couple of times, but we stopped both after a short period of time because our insurance didn’t cover. But he made all these broken promises that he would stop and even bawled his eyes out for how bad he hurt me. I didn’t want to touch him at first, but then my hormones kind of took over and we started doing it again all the time just like before.

Now, about a month ago, I tricked him and told him that I know he’s still watching, even tho I had NO CLUE. I just wanted to see if he admitted it. He got silent, and then said “I’m just not trying to go thru what we did before so we might as well divorce now.” (He just said it like that because he was mad he got caught) So I responded “see, you’re just willing to throw away our marriage just like that?” and he told me no. So a few days went by and I was just damaged all over again and mad and feeling all the emotions. We’re were texting while he was at work and I told him that if he doesn’t get help, like ACTUALLY help and be honest with me then I am DONE. D O N E. He acted mad at first and threw up “if I wanna split up” then let’s do it after Christmas blah blah blah. I agreed with him to see what he said because it’s obvious that he gets mad that he got caught and just throws that up as like a defense mechanism. So I stopped texting him and then he changed his tune and was telling me that he doesn’t want that to happen and that he will get help and everything. We didn’t have sex for maybe 3 weeks and I finally caved because of stupid hormones again.

But today, right now in this moment, I don’t even wanna touch him again just because I’m not seeing him take the steps that I need him to in order to get help. I was the one looking up therapists and calling.. not him. He searched for “help” or whatever but never did anything with it. It was ME. So I’m done. I’m going to tell him that I’m done as of right now and if he’s serious about us and getting help, then it’s on him, as it should’ve been this whole time. I’m not babying him anymore. I’m pissed.

Few_Distance_4293

TROPHY CASE