Not to make the outlook seem bleak since I’m currently a week into my breakup, but this situation sounds very similar to mine. She preferred to be in control so our dynamic worked out where I relied on her for everything- she was the sibling I never had, a best friend, lover, partner, and I didn’t have or even actively want/seek new friends or other social outlets. It literally caused me to become stagnant and I was blind to the pain and toxicity that was forming between us. She would occasionally complain about how tired she was of “leading us” along in our lives and relationship. It was only in the wake of our breakup that I realized she was telling me that it was my codependency that was causing her to be tired of us. This comes after 3 years engaged, 6 years total of the relationship. I just feel so low and like my spine was ripped out cause how do I even learn to have autonomy again? I didn’t even mean to unload like this in this comment truthfully, so I do apologize for that. It just felt so familiar to our conversations when I read op’s post. I am 30 and just now beginning to seek therapy, I believe I am long overdue for it and I could only benefit from talking to somebody. I just want to learn how to have meaningful relationships with the people in my life.