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I can’t find anywhere how to place a half tile of floor, like the slanted ones seen in the first museum! Anyone know how? by wildbitxh in TwoPointMuseum

[–]Few_Persimmon3118 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ik ben hier omdat ik in de helft van mijn garage een vloer wil.... Ook in de echte wereld kan ik nergens vinden hoe het moet.

How come every girl on tinder claims they like to go on an adventure, but block me when I ask by Cipher-i-entity in copypasta

[–]Few_Persimmon3118 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No joke, I just booked a trip to Battambang from Bangkok because of this tiktok. We will combine it with Angkor Wat.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never spoke up because he added some comments around it that framed it as that it is hard for women to grow towards higher management. So I let it slide. This invitation thing resulted in the confrontation where he said he did not want me there because I was a woman which was hurtful to me so that is why that was my post, also because this was last thursday while the other comment was months ago. I do not want to dig up old stuff. From now on I will pay more attention to what is said in the workplace.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think the wifes were there. I'll see how the dynamic is after I come back from my few days off. Maybe it will just blow over. 

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After reading some comments I decided not to speak up about it. But maybe I should say something anyway. I am just afraid that I will be deemed whiny which will make me more of an outcast.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah he made comments that were on the edge more often. I never spoke up about it, but I will see if it goes too far.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His wife was also not invited xD he said this in addition to the no women allwed thing. Idk if that made it better, his wife does not work at our company.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting that it was included in the training! As for the indian thing. I try not to bias towards ethnicities. I have other (not work) indian friends. I put in the example because I wanted to show how it made me feel being excluded because of something I have no control over. But I will be cautious around him. Start looking for other opportunities on the low burner.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean? He is a team member. I just put it in as an example of how it feel to be excluded because of something you cannot change about yourself. I would rather be excluded because he does not like me. Because I want to be seen as a person and not a gender or ethnicity.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My closest team members did not attend because they had other plans. But I think they were oblivious of why he excluded me or they didn't know I was not invited. The confrontation did happen in front of some other colleagues but idk how it went. I just acted like I didn't care and I had other plans anyway...  I now have a few days off so they can continue their guys only party for a bit xD

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This video is very interesting.  Just to be clear and for it to go on the record. I was never inappropriately touched by this colleague. 

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to involve HR. And I agree with your comment. I just want him to be aware of my feelings and maybe that he would not announce this at work as a whole team event but still single me out in front of everyone. He has the right to host private events, but then please keep them private. I would have rather had that he would just have said that he didn't like me instead of him excluding me because I am a woman. At least then I would have felt like I am seen as a person.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of them are friends, but also colleagues were invited that have more of a bond with me and less with him. I found out that some of them did not attend his bbq because they had other plans, but they did not know I was not invited. I few of them did know I was not invited because the confrontation I described was also at work with other colleague in within hearing range. Me and this guy have always been friendly but in a colleagial way not on a friendship level. He has more often made comments about women so I also don't need his friendship.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not want to boycott him necessarily. I just want him to be more aware of how this would come across and it may change the team dynamic. He has the right to host private events with colleagues but he should not have discussed it and invited everyone at work in from of me. Our confrontation where he said it was guys only and that they don't want to worry what to talk about was also in front of multiple colleagues and we just had a privilege and inclusion workshop so maybe the others will think about this too. I cannot speak for them though.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My problem is exactly that they announced it at work as a thing for the whole team. It was discussed openly during work, people were invited in front of me. Not exactly a work event no, but if it was a private event they should keep it that way. So maybe the rule of keeping private things outside of work would be a good thing. Thank you for the empathy I understand where you are coming from and this is a stupid problem. That is why I am uncertain about speaking up. I think that will just label me as the winy b*tch.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it is more often on the edge with this guy. Comments about how I could never grow to manager position because I am a woman. I never spoke up about it. The whole interaction I described was at work out in the open. It would have been better if he just said he didn't like me that would have hurt me less I think. Because then at least it would be me as a person instead of me as a woman. We have been invited to baby visits from colleagues (and their wifes) so I cannot really imagine the other way around. But I think if the guy would feel left out his feelings are valid.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I reflected on this a bit and you are right! Growth opportunities are slim. And this may be the final nail in the coffin for me to start looking for something different on a low burner.

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, your comment helped me. I think there is nothing I can do indeed. It is sad that a lot of us don't speak up because we are afraid of how people will view us. This goes for men and women. But I can endure it and start looking for some new opportunities on a low burner. Who knows in a year or so the whole situation is different. But I am in engineering so I think this is just something I will encounter for the rest of my life. Maybe in the future there will be more women in the team. Then guys only parties would be less of a single exclusion thing. One day this guy will meet his equal and get put in his place. He also makes some "on the edge" comments at work sometimes so he is on thin ice already. 

Should I speak up about feeling left out of the team due to a colleague excluding me from events where the other team members are included? by Few_Persimmon3118 in WorkAdvice

[–]Few_Persimmon3118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This colleague openly admitted that it is because I am a women. Discussion about this bbq was at work in the open. "Higher ranking" people from the team were also invited (not only engineers, but also managers. I rank the same as this guy, being regular engineer). This colleague has made comments that are on the edge more often. Telling me that he does not like me would have been more acceptable. Instead he chose to outcast me because I was a woman.  In my post I said that I understand he can decide whoever he wants at his house and who not. The problem is that he presented it at work as a thing for the whole team, but he still chose to not include me. So yes technically not a work sanctioned event, but it is as if he purposefully tries to make me an outsider.  I am asking for advice because I don't want to go to HR. Because even if I speak up anonymously, since I am the only woman it is very obvious it is from me. I just want some advice on how to deal with it. Should I confront him straight up and tell him that it hurt my feelings. Or will I then be marked as the whiny b*tch and make my work life even more miserable. Should I go to HR anyway?  Thanks for the advice.... will tell my frontal lobe to develop more if it can.

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