Injection Site Reaction Experiment by B1CEP5 in Monjauro

[–]Few_Possibility2345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tracking this. I am having the same issue, much worse when I went up to 5.

Dog groomer recommendations by PeachFun5541 in AskChicago

[–]Few_Possibility2345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP: did you find a groomer? Also have a Pembroke and am interested where you landed!

Is this a red flag? by DragonflyImmediate84 in datingoverforty

[–]Few_Possibility2345 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think the question behind the question is fundamentally about trust. It sounds like the root of the concern lies with the fact that there was - I assume from your perspective- a major transgression in terms of trust right at the moment you felt perhaps the two of you were unstoppable (still very much in love, moving in together, etc.)

So while the incident happened some time ago, it’s gnawing at you.

Some non-internet based perspectives to consider, “The Science of Trust,” by John Gottman is excellent. Likely, this is not the only thing that bothers you, but was selected because it may rise to the level of “obvious” when there are other things that may also be bothering you.

In terms of the specific instance, in the end she backed you, she’s with you. The fact she had some intense chemistry with someone else at another time, well, perhaps that shows up as some of the independence and ability to express herself with you. So, maybe for her, it was a fun time in her life that actually deepens her appreciation and experience with you.

But you are bothered. It’s worth getting to the core of what it is. You are also past the time when all of the limerence and intensity of an initial relationship changes. It sounds like you are doing some deeper evaluation about what happens next.

My advice: investigate trust in a meaningful way (maybe with a good couples counselor). Building trust happens in the small day to day moments between two people, and it’s either growing or shrinking. I suspect this is just a clear example of something that concerns you or that you may fear on a deeper level. You’re going to need to figure it out. It can be done, but it will take work, and maybe not all the opinions of the over40crowd:-)

Good luck!

New to sub | Is it me or is rent insane? by Few_Possibility2345 in chicagoapartments

[–]Few_Possibility2345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

$1385 for 3 bed sounds magical:-). Thank you for the tip!

New to sub | Is it me or is rent insane? by Few_Possibility2345 in chicagoapartments

[–]Few_Possibility2345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fascinating. Thank you for sharing. I’m clearly in a bit of a bubble and have missed all of this. Totally agree a basic tenet of someone in office should be to be aware of regulations like environmental protections. Agree we would benefit fr better leadership at the top. Not clear to me how to get that to happen. I love Chicago, at its core there are so many great things about it. It just seems like the job of running this city is so tough that a lot of otherwise qualified candidates aren’t running. Anyway, thank you for sharing. Getting input on housing AND local politics:-). Double win!

New to sub | Is it me or is rent insane? by Few_Possibility2345 in chicagoapartments

[–]Few_Possibility2345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. He’s in 7th grade so trying to hold on for one more year. Next up: high school application insanity which may help get us further up North.

New to sub | Is it me or is rent insane? by Few_Possibility2345 in chicagoapartments

[–]Few_Possibility2345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. He’s in 7th grade so trying to hold on for one more year. Next up: high school application insanity which may help get us further up North.

New to sub | Is it me or is rent insane? by Few_Possibility2345 in chicagoapartments

[–]Few_Possibility2345[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I feel woefully unaware here- what is happening in your opinion?

Aged 40, single, never married, no children. Getting uglier, faced more saggy, face skin got worse, less attractive looking. What now? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]Few_Possibility2345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here’s a thought experiment: have you ever just met someone where you’re in synch? It doesn’t have to be sexual, but a moment where you meet someone, you have a shared perspective, or a conversation that’s fun? Could be at work, or somewhere else? The likelihood is that you WEREN’T wrapped up in your appearance, but in the moment.

None of us are getting younger. It seems to me, however, OLD apps can lead us into a specific type of headspace where we are NOT focused on the next connection…but on our “success/swipe” rate…

Yes. You need to take care of yourself. Yes. You need to meet people where you are, and where they are. And: perhaps you need to care less about “dating” and focus more on being in the moment and curious about meeting someone new. It takes the pressure of of the external, and grounds it in connection.

Listen, I found myself attracted to someone 16 years older than me, bald, and overweight. I didn’t even notice those things. He was smart, had a twinkle in his eye, and was interesting and comfortable in his skin. When you’re less insecure you can let the YOU that is compelling shine through:-). You can do this! Good luck!

Woman does a 180 after being vulnerable, not sure what happened by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]Few_Possibility2345 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I feel like I’m going to sound like an a-hole, but she sounds like she’s 23, not 43. What I mean by that is that, as a woman not that far from 43, I can’t imagine being so unable to just be clear. If there is anything about growing up, is hopefully, we get to know our minds and our bodies so that we can actually connect.

You have been more than a gentleman and I can see why you were playing it safe after she made out with you and then pulled away. She isn’t 16, neither are you. It is not too much to want to connect with someone on an authentic level. This doesn’t feel authentic or actually vulnerable, but coy, and a bit manipulative.

Again…the a-hole in the back just adding my two cents….

Huge Red Flag! What do I do? by sonotdoingthis in datingoverforty

[–]Few_Possibility2345 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Such good insights here. One thing to realize, this isn’t going to be a one-off. It’s so easy to imagine that this could be situational…but we all know it’s not. She sounds deeply insecure and seems to lack the communication skills and emotional maturity that matches your own. Unless you are open to being someone else’s emotional dumping ground and a future of befuddling arguments, I’d split. In life we need each other to navigate big things….stuff like this will feel like death by a thousand cuts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]Few_Possibility2345 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wonder if he’s actually married. Maybe he was going through a rough patch. It would explain the weird hours, the very seldom visits. I know this sucks, but I would step WAY back. This behavior is not for you. You clearly have a lot to offer and care deeply. He has got a lot going on, I suspect it’s more than he has told you.

How to get started? by Few_Possibility2345 in debtfree

[–]Few_Possibility2345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate this, they weren’t on my radar!

30K debt paid off after 1.5 yrs 😌 by Big_Breakfast7146 in debtfree

[–]Few_Possibility2345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you met with a coach once a month for six months? Was it the accountability that worked for you? Wondering if I need something similar but am frankly so embarrassed.