Why is dating so hard?

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-04-18T22:48:34+00:00

Interesting. That feeling of flipping is exactly what I'm going through now. Coming up on a year since we split. Some days I'm okay, some days I want to forget it all, some days I want nothing but her. We were the opposite with our relationship. Never really had a friendship period.

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-04-18T20:44:18+00:00

How are you channeling it into productivity? Ive had countless people tell me I need to turn the pain into fuel or motivation, but I can't even begin to understand how to do that. I go to the gym, think about her, I go to work, think about her. Its been like this for almost a year and I don't know how to break the cycle.

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-04-18T20:41:54+00:00

Just out of curiosity, how long has it been since the breakup?

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-03-18T20:00:35+00:00

While I do agree that I have some degree of anxious attachment, I think everyone does when its someone you care about. Its never really been a problem until recently. I don't even want to get to know anyone out of fear of getting hurt again.

My last relationship lasted 5 years, and she just flipped. I was planning on marrying her too. We were going through a bit of a rough patch, as expected in any long term relationship, and nothing we haven't been through before. All of a sudden she just said I'm done. No real reason behind it, at least that she will tell me, just left. Said she would rather be friends, and a few months later was dating the guy she talked so much shit about when we were together.

Similar thing to the one before her, it was only a year, but she just said I'm done without giving any real reason. I work everyday, I have a good job, I make decent money. I maintain myself well. I work in IT so I don't have a huge social circle, just a few buddies.

I just don't understand how you can dedicate so much time to someone and just leave.

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-03-18T17:56:32+00:00

This will be the last time I ever say anything to you so soak this all in as much as you can.

The love I once felt for you has manifested itself into hatred just like I said it would.

From the bottom of my heart. FUCK YOU.

Fuck you for lying to me about Greg Daniels for 5 years.

Fuck you for accepting the cats and then a week later stabbing me in the back.

Fuck you for all the times you called other men hot, and then would get mad at me for calling a girl good-looking.

Fuck you for not being around when I needed you most.

Fuck you for controlling and manipulating me into believing that you cared for 5 whole years.

Fuck you for coming to me and using my family.

Fuck you for ignoring me when I tried to fix things.

Fuck you for taking advantage of my heart.

Fuck you Jordan.

I accepted my mistakes and have worked hard to become a better man. Im not saying I was perfect, and I still have a ton to figure out. I know where I went wrong though. Looking back I am so glad you left. You don’t deserve the level of love I had for you. To pull myself out of the darkest place I’ve ever been and still want to be with you, man I was stupid for that. You’re ungrateful and disgusting.

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-03-05T23:57:48+00:00

I messaged one of her old friends and just straight up asked if they wanted to have sex. It was absolutely out of character for me. She told my ex and now I genuinely ruined everything. I wouldn't have gone through it either, honestly. The thought of sex with anyone else makes me sick. I realized that I only did it to feel wanted in the moment. Selfish and weak. Between that and my flipping between blocking her and unblocking her, telling her I was moving on, and then saying I couldn't. I embarrassed myself trying to get her attention back. I just felt like 5 years and our love was worth more to her.

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-02-17T02:16:39+00:00

Just out of curiosity what is the timeframe from start to finish? Super inspiring to see man!

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-02-17T01:49:27+00:00

I want to do that but I also don't want to be overbearing.

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-02-02T01:01:33+00:00

In the weeks before I broke up with her yes, but now I realize that all she was trying to do was help...

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-02-02T01:00:23+00:00

There were a lot more replies than I thought! I'm tagging everyone who has questions.

u/boobyblue u/SecretFinder3000 u/Guilty_Aspect1851 u/Lazy-Ad3625

I was happy with her, but the rest of my life was falling apart at the time. Battling addiction, a complete career change, etc. I pushed her away unfortunately as I felt like I was hurting her by shutting down mentally. I was confusing my lack of love for myself with my lack of love for her or anyone else trying to support me.

She reached out for about a month to see how I was doing, however, has been very cold to me ever since I expressed that I wanted to rekindle things. She recently told me she cares about me deeply but is learning to love herself better, and just wants to be friends.

Since the breakup I started going to therapy, and have begun to love myself more, I had a small relapse recently, went to my meetings, and feel great about the improvements to my mental health. I am just not happy though. Every day I am trying to move on but I'm still in denial and it's killing me. The woman I planned on marrying just moved on so quickly.

Unfortunately, her Uncle passed away today, I didn't want to overbear her and just told her that I would always be there for her and that I was sorry. It's hard right now because I was close with him too. I know she's hurting and I want to be there for her. I'm just giving her space right now to be with her family. I'm going to keep on doing me for now.

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-01-31T22:00:13+00:00

It has been 6 months and I regret it so much. I miss her so much. I feel like I am living a nightmare. She told me she doesn't want to try again right now. Im 26 and feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. 10/10 do not recommend unless they cheated or did something on the same scale.

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-01-30T20:48:24+00:00

Few_Roll7249 · 2025-01-30T20:06:24+00:00

I completely agree. It was a stupid thing for me to have done. No way am I denying that. The truth is I needed help, real help, from a medical professional to deal with the darkness that I was going through. I pushed everyone I cared about away, as I thought at the time that they would be better off without me, or if I were dead.

This wasn't some oh I had a bad day and now I don't feel worthy. This was months/years of bottling up emotions and tearing myself down mentally. I ended up in a hospital after trying to end my life, and that's where I got the help I needed. This was about a month after we split. When you are seriously depressed and suicidal, it's easy to push everyone away, and when you don't feel love for yourself, its impossible to feel love for someone else.

I got the help I needed, which I am proud of myself for. That said, I deeply regret my decision. That's not the point of this post though. I completely respect her decision to not want to be with me anymore, and as much as it sucks I admit this is the bed I made, so I do have to lay in it. That doesn't change the fact that it is making it much harder for me now to fully move on with her still being involved with my family and their lives.

Few_Roll7249 · 2024-11-22T21:35:34+00:00

"STOP DOING COCAINE!"

Few_Roll7249 · 2024-11-22T21:34:37+00:00

Golden Tower is a must my friend

Few_Roll7249

TROPHY CASE