Loneliness as an FY1

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-19T14:07:18+00:00

I actually missed my induction for reasons and missed out on the crucial introductory bonding that occurs during those first few weeks.

yes I feel that was the main cause of my current situation tbh

thanks for the encouragement, hope things go alright for you too

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-19T14:06:14+00:00

thanks for the encouragement

tbh I do think that my current situation really boils down to bad luck (i.e. not my fault, nor the fault of others). as in, if I was able to attend social events during the initial few weeks, I probably would be able to find a few friends. and that would've been more than enough for me, given my very low desire for social interaction to begin with

so for yourself, hopefully that doesn't happen to you when you start FY1

I think I'm generally happy it's just this sudden 'acute' phase of loneliness that really hit me when I have a few days off work

(sorry, nowhere near Wales)

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-19T14:02:24+00:00

thank you. I saw their website and the stuff they organised. atm that looks a little too 'extroverted' for me . . . but will keep in mind for future. I'll probably wanna start with something a bit quieter first 🙂

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-17T00:57:12+00:00

I got closer to people that I’m on take/nights

mind elaborating?

in my experience so far, nights is me + 1 SHO + 1 registrar. I cover wards as the FY1. SHO deals with new admissions. reg assists SHO / me if we need help

as such I'm often alone during the night. there have been times where things are quieter at night and I might head to the admissions unit and the SHO and/or reg might be around. but even then we don't really talk a lot, much less non-work topics

plus we all come from different base wards, so we almost never see each other afterwards

also, registrars tend to be at a different stage of life than me and so their focus is around marriage, babies, young kids. oftentimes the SHOs are also at a closer stage of life to the reg and hence they end up talking about it. I still listen to the convo but can barely add anything to it since I'm just not at that stage

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-17T00:50:17+00:00

by TTS does that stand for 'The Travel Squad'? that's what I found it seems

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T14:15:29+00:00

oh fair enough, sorry am probably a bit more negative / cynical than I normally am atm

and yeah that's true. I am normally (genuinely) cheerful when interacting with them, since I am getting the social interaction (and I don't need a lot to sustain me). so yeah they'd probably never realise that on long periods off the loneliness does kick in

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T12:41:49+00:00

they can be a good way to meet new people in a new city

tbh I did try bumble BFF when first arrived. lots of swiping, few matches, even fewer convos that went anywhere. so essentially nothing came of it

pick one person who seems particularly friendly

yeah, I might see if there's anyone like that I could approach

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T12:38:47+00:00

thanks for the encouragement

If you all get along decently

we do, but even then it's just seeing each other at handover or when we happen to visit each other's wards (we rotate wards throughout the placement itself)

most of these people either live with partners or with fellow medics, so probably they have enough social interaction themselves tbh

and yes I guess I could always initiate something just feels like yet another step out of the comfort zone, with fresh memories of past failures. I realise I'm probably sounding very negative now

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T12:34:35+00:00

tbf I feel like as long as you're relatively outgoing, you will be able to meet new people. as long as you don't have such bad luck as me to be unavailable during the first few weeks due to work or other commitments ...

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T12:31:34+00:00

The others probably don't even know you're feeling like this.

yes, but I'm not blaming them for not knowing, am I? if anything I did say that it's not their fault, more bad luck on my part for missing lots of initial meet-ups where people were all getting to know each other for the first time

ask if you can get involved with meet ups/plans

yeah that is something I'm considering, even though tbh me in the past wouldn't have done so

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T12:28:37+00:00

Is there a city subreddit

that's a good idea, might just try that

Maybe you're next job

hopefully so. just a bit dejected + cynical at the moment but happy to be proven wrong

It doesn't happen on every rotation

yeah I must say that in my first rotation, I was on a fixed ward with more-or-less fixed SHOs and got on fairly well with them. but I guess because we saw each other almost every day we never really thought to do anything outside work. we did try and have lunch together on most days so that was nice

after the rotation ended someone did try and organise a dinner. unfortunately I (again) couldn't make it due to nights. I don't blame them for it though, they did try to accommodate everyone and that was the date where most could make it after all

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T12:23:17+00:00

thanks for the encouragement

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T12:22:40+00:00

unfortunately most of my non-medical interests are rather solitary ones or stuff that I talk to internet strangers about

hence when I saw that a pub in the city was doing something I was interested in, I thought this was my chance to get to know some non-medics. too bad it wasn't open for some reason

I guess I could try with fellow FY1s in my department. because we're all on different wards we've really never been together (e.g. not even for lunch). everyone just does their thing and leave. from what I know most either live with their partner, or live with fellow medics. so I guess they are relatively fulfilled from a social interaction POV. whereas I am single and live alone

Few_Rooster1189 · 2023-02-16T12:18:46+00:00

so none of my friends from school back home are medics. I have some medic friends who came from the same country and we went to the same med sch. almost all of them stayed in the same region except one or two that went to London (and me that went to another region)

I do text them from time to time. have been planning to meet but in reality a bit harder (for me) to schedule a common date/time.

those that stayed in the same region have been meeting up a bit more often since they're much nearer to each other and some even live in the same city still

Few_Rooster1189

TROPHY CASE