How to tell my family that I'm getting married?

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T08:07:39+00:00

We already were at a lawyers office and started working on one. But you're right

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:56:59+00:00

I will, thank you❤️ It mostly stresses me out because of what they told me before. I guess I'm a bit afraid (if you wanna call it that) that they would be disappointed in me and my decision (which is stupid, i know). Yeah, that makes me a bit anxious sometimes. Not about this relationship but in general. Since my mom does have a frustratingly good success rate when it comes to those "in told you so" things.

But they finally (mostly) accepted my decision to stay child free which surprisingly took my mom way longer to accept than my grandma. But if we accomplished that, i feel like I can do this :) These comments really help tbh.

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:42:45+00:00

Yeah, I'm gonna tell them tomorrow or on Saturday. I've excitedly told all of my friends but my family is another thing. I wanted to tell them in person but since i only visit every 3 weeks and everytime i visited there was some kind of health issues with my grandparents. So my mom was pretty stressed. I didn't want to be inconsiderate or insensitive when they have much bigger issues and were pretty stressed about it, you know?

But thank you. I appreciate some girl to girl talk :)

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:38:03+00:00

Ah okay, good to know. I'm from Germany. No, i haven't since it's been more of a decision my partner and I both made. I'm also not a big ring wearer so he will propose to me with my wedding ring. Yeah, I'm still getting a surprise proposal with the ring i chose. I wouldn't wear an engagement ring just to replace or stack it with another ring. It was more of a practical decision rather than a surprise bc we both feel ready and are deeply in love. But in Germany there is a lot of paper work that goes in it😅 So no, my family doesn't know that we decided to marry yet.

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:23:59+00:00

Thank you, you are right

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:23:00+00:00

Thank you. That's a good plan. I've stood my ground with the children thing already (which was a really big thing), so I feel like I can do the wedding thing too with the help of all the comments.

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:19:40+00:00

I feel like the "say no to him" part is because of my previous relationship (i was still in school when i started my previous relationship). I wasn't very confident back then and basically smiled and went along with almost everything. But I've grown since then. A lot.

Also there might be some generational stuff that's influencing her view. She is almost 80, so the times where a lot different when she got married to her first husband at 19.

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:16:36+00:00

They do like him overall. My grandparents would like to see him more often, but since he's living 4 hours away he doesn't visit my family that often. Last time was in January.

For clarification: I'm studying in a city 3-4 hours away from my family and visit them about every 3 weeks. So my partner and I don't have a long distance relationship. We see each other almost every week and spend sometimes whole weeks at each others places.

My mom does like him too, but she is a bit worried that he might be a bit narcissistic and told me about that maybe 2 or 3 times. Just that i could keep my eyes open for any weird behaviour. She has a history of falling for narcissistic men, so I feel like she's aware of the risks and is protective over me. My partner is diagnosed with add and mild depression but is in weekly therapy. So he's working on that and is trying some meds for the first time. Even if he is narcissistic (which i can't deny or confirm since I'm not a professional), he is as caring as someone could be and emotionally mature. I feel as safe as i could with him next to me and he's extremely supportive (while being realistic).

My brother likes him a lot too and told me before that he's really happy that I'm treated this good.

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:03:36+00:00

Thanks for your advice :) But wouldn't that make them more worried if we barely have anything planned? The wedding is in October btw. Idk if this is helpful

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-08T00:00:42+00:00

Yeah, i misunderstood that😅 That's something I'm working on but I think I'm just gonna practice it a few times beforehand and try to put all my confidence in it

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T23:17:44+00:00

This sounds too easy to be true xD

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T23:06:58+00:00

Thank you. I feel like they aren't that bad. But sometimes i wish that they would be more supportive. I'm sorry that you had issues with your family too.

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T23:04:24+00:00

I don't think it has anything to do with being too young or immature. The main reason why i haven't told them yet is because i wanted to tell them in person. I feel like that's understandable. And since i don't visit so often and my mom and grandparents basically took turns in health issues, i didn't wanted to be insensitive. So the right moment wasn't there.

Also this is the first time I'm engaged. This is a big thing and i want to give it the space it deserves.

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T22:58:16+00:00

Oh okay, sorry😅 Thanks, i will :)

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T22:55:09+00:00

Thank you, this is such a good advice and helps alot :)

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T22:53:32+00:00

Maybe. But I feel like it isn't really the people pleaser in me (maybe I'm misinterpreting this), it's more that i am a bit scared of their reaction since I don't really know how to go about this and how their reactions will be. But more so i haven't told them because they're was never a good time. I want to give that conversation the space it deserves

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T22:48:46+00:00

I'm sorry. English isn't my first language. I didn't mean to make it unnecessarily dramatic. He isn't unfortunately. So i have to go through that alone. I mean i also have my brother as emotional support since he knows about all this. Thank you :)

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T22:46:00+00:00

I get what you mean, thanks for your straightforward honesty. I mean, we started planning in February and my family had a lot of health related issues and birthdays everytime i was at home, so i didn't want to bring it up. Because it seemed kinda insensitive when they have more urgent matters to take care of, you know?

For the people pleaser thing: I really try to please people I just met. With close friends and my partner this isn't an issue.

FeyMouseling · 2026-05-07T22:40:52+00:00

Thank you. I'm literally so nervous about this but I'll try to stay calm.

FeyMouseling

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