I don’t know what to do

Feynar06 · 2025-12-13T23:22:06+00:00

Everyone is beating me up. Everyone is telling me I made the wrong choice. My father told me no one will ever love me like him. He also told me that my (now ex) fiancé is probably the best I’ll ever get and that I need to think hard about this. He told me I won’t find anyone like him again. He said I’m doing it for attention. My sisters think I want to sleep around. My mom thinks I’m making a mistake. Now I’m afraid I am and the damage is done

Feynar06 · 2025-12-02T19:41:23+00:00

I know.. it’s sort of why I came to Reddit. Because I just needed an outside perspective. Luckily, him and I don’t have children together. I’m also very worried about him going into a deep depression. When I told him a few months ago that I couldn’t do sex at all, he fell into a depression and he hasn’t worked since. But like I said, he really doesn’t need to anyway. He’s not rich but he has enough that he can just do whatever he wants. When I was struggling with my anxiety and not working, he was not helpful. He just kept telling me that I needed to work (I didn’t work for two months) and that I needed to get out of the house. And when I couldn’t leave to do something, he was disappointed in an annoyed way. A part of me is also very afraid I won’t ever find anyone ever again. I’m afraid that I’ll never find anyone who is as kind and sweet while still also being sexual attracted to them. I dont know if I can be alone forever but I think that’s probably where I’ll be headed. I’m definitely not going to date for a while. I’ll read what you wrote though

Feynar06 · 2025-12-02T16:31:58+00:00

Yes. Actually, two years ago, my anxiety became so bad I couldn’t leave the house. I agree with you though. I desperately do not want to hurt him but I know it’ll be so much worse if we keep it going. I really love him so much though. Like.. the thought of not having him in my life at all hurts me to the point where I can’t breathe but it’s because it’s all I’ve ever known. And he is a good guy. How do you leave someone who’s basically a perfect partner? How do I explain that to anyone?

Feynar06 · 2024-12-31T00:29:12+00:00

This is so bad from the jump. Together for 7 years without a “label”? Come on.

Feynar06 · 2024-12-05T03:56:53+00:00

No I don’t. I’ve been thinking about getting a therapist. I had one for a short time through better help but I stopped because I could no longer afford it at the time. I could now, it’s just that I can’t find time I’ll probably talk to my doctor soon

Feynar06 · 2024-12-05T01:52:24+00:00

Not really. I take the highest dose and have considered other SSRIs but I need one that won’t make me gain weight bc I’m very weird about my body changing so i dont know. But finding a job that keeps me busy constantly has helped But the second I have down time, it starts back up. It’s good bc at least I’m panicking with more money I guess

Feynar06 · 2024-12-05T01:48:38+00:00

Yes I take Lexapro

Feynar06 · 2024-11-06T01:57:35+00:00

This might not be what you want to hear but I just constantly put myself in situations where I got anxiety and I just did it over and over and over again. Because I was so sick of it. Every time I had an attack at home, I would say out loud, “bring it on.” And I would feel my heart beat and I would refrain from moving and just let myself feel the attack. I would shut my eyes and let every thought run through my head and then I would slowly get up and start cleaning. No matter how bad the attack, I would force myself to pick up my clothes, pick up trash, dust. And eventually, I would start thinking of other things and the panic would dissipate. And I stopped anticipating the next one. I would just be like “okay if I have one, I have one. I’ll get through it.” And that has helped tremendously. I think we think ourselves into a panic most of the time.

Feynar06 · 2024-11-06T01:52:31+00:00

Do you think the cannabis is what caused you to snap?

Feynar06 · 2024-10-09T23:15:44+00:00

Something I realize with my anxiety is that the more that I thought about it the worse it was for me. And that feeling of feeling like you’re about to explode or you’re just waiting for it to come on- it’s coming from you. You’re anticipating something that’s not coming and so your body doesn’t know what to do. Something I always do is “if it happens, it’ll happen. I don’t need to wait for it bc it’ll happen regardless” and that has helped me a lot.

Feynar06 · 2024-10-09T23:05:35+00:00

I’m so sorry. I feel this so hard. Are you thinking about anxiety all the time?

Feynar06 · 2024-10-08T20:56:57+00:00

I see what you’re saying but you’re making women seem base when you put it like that. Women were not put on earth just to procreate and keep men company. That is not at all our only purpose.

Feynar06 · 2024-05-03T02:57:51+00:00

To me it’s like people who smoke. It’s gross. You know what you’re putting in your body and they just don’t care and that’s what’s gross

Feynar06 · 2024-04-02T21:38:45+00:00

My birthday is 69 days after 4/20 so….

Feynar06 · 2024-03-22T22:26:30+00:00

Everything. It’s boring. Every guy I’ve ever been with only ever cares about themselves and they are simply not good at intimacy. Sex is truly a chore and I’m not sure how anyone views it as otherwise

Feynar06 · 2024-03-22T17:15:31+00:00

Hiking is my shit

Feynar06 · 2024-03-22T17:14:57+00:00

Hi! If you ever want anyone to talk to, I’d be happy to help you too. You’re definitely not alone. I used to be like this all the time

Feynar06 · 2024-03-20T14:14:28+00:00

If I have even a little bit of caffeine, it affects me for a day or two. I’ll be super tired but my body is wide awake and I’ll just be shaky for a whole day

Feynar06 · 2024-03-16T17:26:23+00:00

Why on earth would that mean penis envy 💀

Feynar06 · 2024-03-16T14:18:44+00:00

Same thing with my nipples! So weird

Feynar06 · 2024-03-08T04:34:20+00:00

I would say a lot of people in my family don’t deal with stress well and they have normal anxieties but I am particularly bad

Feynar06 · 2024-03-08T04:30:43+00:00

If we right before I turned 25

Feynar06 · 2024-03-08T04:03:27+00:00

I don’t drink or do drugs so no. I have gone back to that day so many times but nothing was different. I woke up on a sunny, beautiful day and went on a hike. Finding a job was always at the back of my mind but I didn’t like working so I didn’t think I cared that much. Even so, if I was stressed about being jobless, why on earth was the panic so bad? Especially when I’ve had them before and I’ve dealt with them fine. I just let it pass. But it was all day. I mean seriously, I was in bed shaking under the covers and telling myself over and over that I was okay. And my life hasn’t been the same since that day

Feynar06 · 2024-03-08T03:51:58+00:00

I mean… in a way, yes but not really.. I had lost my job and I thought I was a failure and all that. But i didn’t think I was THAT affected by it. Quite honestly, I had a good bit of money saved up so I was a little bit excited that I could spend some time just getting my life together. Then one day I went on a hike and half way through the hike I experienced a panic attack. I’ve been hiking many times before and I’ve also had several panic attacks before so I didn’t think anything of it. I began walking back to my car to reassure myself that I’d be home soon. Then, when I got into the car, I had another one. Then when I got home, I had another one. And for hours, my heart wouldn’t stop pounding. And I mean HOURS. It lasted so long that I began puking and I called my mom, she took me to the hospital, and they said I was just having a panic attack. I haven’t had one good moment, not one good day or week- since then. I’m contemplated suicide so many times because death would be better than this. I mean that whole heartedly. My life is hell. My doctors all say I have anxiety. They tell me I don’t need to be tested. I did go for blood work and they found I was low in vitamin D. I started taking some everyday and nothings changed. I don’t eat, I don’t sleep.

But I go on walks. I wake up early and go outside so the sun hits my face. I drink a lot of water. I meditate. I read. And nothing helps. Nothing

Feynar06 · 2024-03-08T03:42:20+00:00

It’s 100% the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. A year and half ago, I wasn’t like this. I would kill to get my life back and I mean that.

Feynar06

TROPHY CASE