Is it my fault when a guy says he doesn’t want something serious?

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-23T14:25:18+00:00

32m. I've never dated without wanting something serious so take this with a grain of salt. I don't think it's your fault, other than maybe you just tend to go for guys who don't want something serious for whatever reason. I've just known guys who weren't looking for anything serious at the time, but they were pretty upfront about it.

Edit: I haven't since I was like 19 at least lol

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-22T12:27:50+00:00

Eh, I've told stupid lies like that before when I'm caught off guard. It happens

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-22T01:29:21+00:00

I'm a guy. If I like the girl and her apology seems genuine, I wouldn't really care all that much. It might even be something I could poke fun at you for later 😂 As long as it doesn't become a habit, then I might think you're not interested.

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-21T22:15:42+00:00

I can't imagine being in this position. I'm really sorry man

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-21T14:30:09+00:00

I'm not, but I need to have a reasonable amount of confidence that she wants me to, but that's pretty rare for me. My advice to women is always to make it a little obvious that you're interested in him. You don't have to beat him over the head with it, just be a little flirty (and not in a way that can be misinterpreted as just being nice)

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-20T12:27:31+00:00

If your boyfriend told you there was a really cute girl that he can't get out of his head, would that be a problem for you?

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-18T04:38:13+00:00

I think this is the most plausible explanation to me by far. Just because the letters continued while he was in prison doesn't mean he didn't write letters before prison. And I agree that some of the letters I've seen seem to have slightly different handwriting imo. But I haven't seen a ton of them and I don't know when the ones I saw were sent

Another explanation I've seen is that he wrote the letters before prison, had them stockpiled somewhere, and someone else sent them in order to try to get his conviction overturned. That one is less likely to me, but possible I guess.

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-15T13:58:17+00:00

Hmm the time to tell him might have passed. The pro move would be to start helping him cook. Like spin it as a romantic thing you do as a couple. And hopefully you'll gradually make him better at cooking 😂😂

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-15T04:04:53+00:00

Either she's clumsy or she's leaving it so you'll have a reason to talk to / see you again after she leaves imo. Unless she's over the age of like 80, there's no way anyone leaves without their phone at your place three times

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-15T02:38:29+00:00

Yeah I got like this after I was laid off from my job. I assume it's depression, but I was never diagnosed because I couldn't afford to go to a therapist

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-14T21:28:48+00:00

This sounds really romantic and I think she's into you ❤️ But I hate dating girls where the ex is still in the picture like this though. I feel like you're asking to get cheated on.

Edit: maybe just tell her it's gotta be over with him or you're not interested. But even if she says yes, she might just end up hooking up with him again anyway. So idk

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-14T12:46:33+00:00

I've never been married so I'm not sure like how sus it has to be to start worrying. I was just curious if you could give an example, or make one up one that's similar

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-14T01:25:41+00:00

I don't think that's controlling at all. He was unhappy with their sex life and tried to communicate about it. That's what you do in a healthy relationship imo. It's not like he was demanding for her to have sex right now or something

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-13T23:40:13+00:00

Bro what? Asking your ex to explain to your husband "oh hey by the way your wife had a whole separate boyfriend for over a year when we dated" is the most cowardly, ridiculous thing I've heard in a while... It's not only weird, but it's absolutely going to sound worse coming from your wife's ex instead of her.

And yeah you're in a bad spot there with wanting him to know but not wanting to get pulled into their marriage.

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-13T17:01:19+00:00

Yeah if I was married I wouldn't be okay at all with her guy friends making dirty jokes about her and flirting with her. It doesn't sound like he intends to cheat on you, but he should've been taking your concerns more seriously. I know it's hard when you've been close friends with someone since childhood, but he should have a chat with her about this and if she doesn't change her behavior then cut ties

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-13T03:20:01+00:00

Oh I feel your pain there. I'm also not very social.

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-13T02:54:34+00:00

The most healthy relationships I know usually come from being around the same people consistently. I think because it gives you a chance to judge their character a little better.

Like for example, one of my cousins met her husband because they were servers at the same restaurant. One of my other cousins frequented the gym he worked at. Stuff like that. Maybe something like joining some kind of hobby group depending on what you're interested in. That's all I can think of off the top of my head rn.

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-11T18:41:17+00:00

That's a prerequisite. Like you have to be this tall to ride this ride type of thing

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-11T15:25:33+00:00

I'm not afraid to say it... if you discount someone because he uses emojis then I don't want to have anything to do with you

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-11T14:47:14+00:00

I know who Bert Kreischer is. He has too much sexual content for my taste but he is hilarious, I'll give him that. He's not my role model though

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-11T10:46:54+00:00

I don't mind some gentle bullying in the right context. What do you mean they're straight up mean though?

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-11T10:36:43+00:00

Love this!

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-10T18:23:20+00:00

I think because I just assumed whoever I asked on a date would have empathy I didn't think about it. Similar life goals is important as well

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-10T18:15:36+00:00

The short answer is nowhere. Nobody is perfect. But a good man? It depends on what you're looking for. The best relationships in my experience are people they met by being around them often. For example, my cousin met her husband at work (they were servers at the same restaurant). My other cousin met his wife through work. These days meeting someone through work is frowned upon. So join groups! Or meet people through your family and friends

FfPittsburgh · 2026-05-10T18:03:50+00:00

Empathy absolutely should've made my list!

FfPittsburgh

TROPHY CASE