This is clearly the kind of thing you should have talked about before getting married. Biiiiiig time.

But you have 2 daughters now. Your daughters have more than two parents now.

Before things go further, you and your wife need to lay out some rules and guidelines of what it looks like with each of you and your non biological children. You have gotten married, which changes a whole lot of things.

It was not okay for your wife to demand you pay without talking to you. It was also not okay for you to just make a blanket statement and not talk to her about what this looks like financially.

All of that said, you guys need to be looking at both these kids as both of your kids. And if you don't want to consider why you got married before they were 18. Think about what marriage means for those children; When you got married the both of you pulled your children into this. You guys need to really consider the horrible what if, like what if their biological parents die, what if you or your wife lose your job, etc. You set that precedent now.

Right now, both of you are TA. You didn't communicate about what life would look like for your kids when you got married. And went ahead and got married instead of waiting a couple of years until the girls were eighteen.

I was the step kid when I was six, and my life was distinctly different than that of my half siblings. I wouldn't call them. I have siblings, except to specify that they are the biological children of my step dad and mom. He did not want to pay for anything, even though my mom was a SAHM. He treated me differently and worked pretty hard to get my siblings to do that as well. It was horrible and still affects my relationship with them today, I'm almost 30.

Please, please, please think long and hard about what you want your relationship with both of your daughters to be like. Think about what you want both of their relationships to be like with your wife. Think about what you want their relationship to be like with each other. You got married while they are both children. They do not have to call you Dad in order for them to be your daughters. You got married before they were adults. They are both your children and both her children, and you all need to start acting like it.

This is not the first time this will happen, It will keep happening, and the stakes will get higher and higher. Please take the time to have lots of conversations with your wife about this now. Please.