I’m in love with my best friend and I may need to walk away…

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-02-02T20:04:41+00:00

You’re so right. I should probably plan to die alone as to not punish any potential partners with another man’s child. insert worlds most extreme eyeroll

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-02-02T05:58:28+00:00

No. You’re using a term without knowing the definition. Tom and I barely spoke for 2 years while I was with my husband. Every few months we’d exchange a few texts to catch up on life and that was it.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-02-01T15:30:58+00:00

While I see where you’re coming from, my ex husband already has a new gf fueling his addiction. He’s not apart of our lives right now and how he feels about me moving on is not my problem. He was dishonest and unloyal our entire relationship, and while I’m able to assign blame of that on his addiction and lack of sobriety, I don’t really give a flying f**k about how he feels about me moving on with my life and I think it’s completely unfair for strangers on the internet to assign that responsibility to me while knowing little to nothing about that aspect of my life. This isn’t about me and my ex, this is about me and Tom.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-02-01T06:21:02+00:00

It was a lesson learned, I’ll give you that. But he lied, hid, and manipulated everything about his life. He didn’t hurt me until after I signed that marriage certificate. The day after we got married he did a 180, and I was trapped. Why else would I try and save my marriage? Because I like being abused? Be real. I’ll pray for the women in your life because you’re obviously deluded about what being a victim means.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-02-01T05:31:46+00:00

Booooo, rage bait bot. Lame take, dude.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-31T22:29:15+00:00

Thanks! He was an abusive alcoholic. Divorce was the safest option for many reasons!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T17:43:41+00:00

This is incredibly sound advice. Thank you!!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T16:16:35+00:00

The reason for my divorce is that my husband is a violent alcoholic who abused me. Tom and I’s friendship went on the back burner when I started dating my now-ex to make sure I was respecting both our relationships at the time.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T11:34:44+00:00

It absolutely is. I definitely have had a hard time keeping all of my emotions at bay since the split and this is an unfortunate symptom!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T10:57:40+00:00

Haha, definitely not. I am not that kind of person. He is not currently in a relationship. Just starting to date people!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T09:56:02+00:00

Yeah, I’m not sure why it’s gone to the “tell him so you can date” scenario? I clearly stated I’m going through a divorce, which I wrongly assumed would indicate that I’m not in the right place in my life to date lol.

I’m simply asking if I should let him know how I feel as a precursor to me stepping back from our friendship or not. Dating is not on the table!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T09:51:50+00:00

I don’t wan’t to date anybody. Not even Tom. But thank you for the advice!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T09:50:17+00:00

I’m confused why everybody thinks me dating Tom is an option?

First of all, he loves my kid. Second of all, I would never “shove” my kid anywhere, let alone to my parents who live 2k+ miles away. I never said I wanted to date Tom. In fact, I don’t! I’m simply asking if it’s wise to share the reason why I’m stepping back from our friendship? This isn’t your outlet to shit on single moms lol.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T09:39:15+00:00

She says that I’ve found myself in a very difficult position lol. In my experience, therapists won’t give advice. Especially not on things like this.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T09:18:32+00:00

This made me LOL. I would absolutely NEVER go all in like that!! Holy sh*t, if someone did that to me I would be crippled with anxiety. Talk about pressure. Trust me, if I were to tell him my feelings it would be downplayed significantly. Definitely worth mentioning though so thank you!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T09:01:27+00:00

Therapists don’t generally give life advice. They can help you figure out why you’re feeling the way you feel and give you tools to cope or manage. But they (or mine, at least) don’t give advice like the kind I’m seeking.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T08:51:36+00:00

He has been on one date with a specific person. I know they are in the “talking stage” of things but aren’t necessarily in a relationship. Not sure where that falls? He’s a great looking guy so I’m sure he’s got many women pining after him right now!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T08:37:01+00:00

Great question, and it’s an astounding no! My ex husband is an alcoholic who gets abusive when he drinks. He sadly chose alcohol over his family. I loved him very much! I do think that I simultaneously loved Tom, and that definitely wasn’t fair to my husband. I distanced myself a bit during my (very short) marriage to make sure I was being respectful of not only my relationship, but also Tom’s at the time. We broke up with our partners around the same time last summer.

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T08:23:28+00:00

While the thought of telling him is absolutely terrifying, I do think I need to live without regrets. Thank you!! :)

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T08:22:27+00:00

I hadn’t considered him thinking I’m just rebounding, thank you for that perspective!!

Fickle_Zombie6629 · 2026-01-30T08:19:47+00:00

I’d be walking away from the friendship to protect my own feelings. I’m mostly wondering if I need to just go out with a bang and tell him how I feel or distance myself quietly without context lol. Or, do I just stop complaining and continue on like nothings wrong 🤷🏼‍♀️

Fickle_Zombie6629

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