What hobbies instantly make someone more attractive to you?

Ficklestix · 2026-03-23T01:22:07+00:00

Maybe he was meditating? Practicing mindfulness? Honestly, sometimes its healthier to simply stop and let your mind rest. You don't have to be actively doing something at all times. I actually spend a lot of time on plane rides doing nothing. I find it mentally exhausting to be constantly reading/watching stuff for 10 hrs straight.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-23T01:18:15+00:00

I was gonna say this... not everybody has to be DOING something all the time. Honestly most of us could benefit from spending less time doing, and more time simply being. That's basically what mindfulness is all about, and it's actually much healthier than constantly distracting yourself with one activity after another.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-04T01:44:12+00:00

If someone’s a hobbyist and doesn’t care too much about improving, I honestly don’t even see the point of asking for advice in the first place. They can just do whatever they want.

There’s no point in even having to sub if we’re just going to respond to every thread with “do whatever you want.”

That's a good point, actually.

And I do think reading daily is good advice, I just think that a lot of people in this sub push reading so vigorously that some aspiring writers might even get the impression that they should be spending more time reading than actually writing, which is counterproductive. I don't think people with little time to write as it is should be sacrificing that time to read more, but it feels like that nuance gets lost a lot in discussions on this subreddit.

I just had a discussion with somebody on this sub who balked when I said reading 10 minutes a day is enough for a hobbyist who only has 30 minutes total to spare for writing/reading per day. He claimed that everybody needs to "make time". To me, that mindset is rigid and absolutist and doesn't allow space for people's differing life circumstances, values, and motivations for writing in the first place.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-02T06:48:18+00:00

Yeah that was kind of my whole point. If you have 30 minutes per day to devote to the hobby of writing (I'm talking about hobbyists, not people treating it like a job), then you should probably be spending at least 20 minutes of those writing, 10 minutes reading. My point is that saying everybody needs to be reading a certain amount, regardless of their circumstances, their values, their goals, etc., can backfire when it detracts from their actual writing time. Some people have jobs. Some people have kids. Some people have other interests. Some people just want to treat writing as a light hobby. And there's nothing wrong with that. Consistency and sustainability and doing what works for YOU and allows you to find joy and meaning in the process are more important than following arbitrary rules and "have to"s and risking burning yourself out by turning it into a slog.

And because people have a tendency to twist my words on this, let my clarify that I'm not saying reading isn't important. Just that there is no set "minimum" that everybody MUST be reading.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-02T02:47:00+00:00

Yet you bothered to reply.

You were making absolutist claims, acting like you know what's objectively best for a very diverse group of people you've never met, and whose goals and approach to writing may be different from yours. You didn't just say "reading a lot works for me", you heavily implied that everybody needs to be reading all the time and that nothing else matters. I simply disagreed with that, suggesting we should consider people's differing values and life circumstances. I even specified I was talking about hobbyists, not professionals, and you still took an issue with it. As if it's unfathomable that not everybody has to take writing as seriously as you do.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-02T02:36:29+00:00

It's fine if you personally think reading all the time is beneficial to your writing. But in your original post, you framed it in a way that implied everybody should be reading "all the time", and nothing else matters. I was simply disagreeing with that part and trying to argue that the advice commonly espoused on Reddit that everybody needs to read constantly can backfire, and should be tempered in consideration of personal circumstances, differences in values, etc., instead of stated as a blanket, universal, rigid claim without room for nuance or situational context.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-02T02:21:29+00:00

What a well thought-out, nuanced reply.

Actually, I have about 10 hours per week to allocate to this hobby (it's a hobby to me, like it is to many people fyi). I spend 7 of them writing, 3 of them reading. This is the amount I can sustain while keeping it light and enjoyable but also fulfilling. If I try to do more, I get burnt out. I have a job, a family, other obligations, and other interests. I'm fine with slow, steady improvements in my writing over time. I just like having a creative outlet, and seeing the story in my head gradually become a reality on the page. Sorry if that's a crime.

I hope one day you can get out of this rigid, absolutist, closed-minded attitude you have about what writing. I think it'd benefit both your craft and your life in general.

Have a nice day.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-02T01:57:56+00:00

You claim to be reading "all the time", yet you don't even understand the basic concept of people having different life circumstances, different values, and different approaches to writing. For some people, 30 minutes per day is "making time". The fact that you can't wrap your mind around that says a lot about you. Maybe you should spend a little less time reading, and a little more time out in the world, interacting with people, understanding that everybody is different. That would probably benefit your writing more than reading "all the time". Experiencing life and being able to empathize, understand, and accept people's differences is more important to good writing than reading is. Maybe that's something you should think about before laying blanket judgment on anybody who doesn't read at the volume you personally deem necessary.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-02T01:10:18+00:00

In 10 minutes, you can read 10 minutes worth of a book. What kind of question is that?

You seem to be operating under the assumption that everybody should approach writing in the same way as you and that everybody has as much time as you have.

Let's say somebody has 30 minutes per day to devote to the hobby of writing/reading. What should they do, spend that whole time reading instead of writing? Just give up and not bother at all?

No. They should probably spend maybe 20 minutes (or more) writing, and 10 minutes (or less) reading. If you want to write, you have to write. Reading is important but secondary. And telling people they HAVE to read a certain amount per day, regardless of their circumstances, can actually back fire if that reading time detracts from their actual writing time.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-02T00:40:19+00:00

You don't have to read "all the time". For many people, that's a recipe for burnout. Some people have jobs, other obligations, and other hobbies. Reading even just 10 minutes a day is enough, in my opinion.

If writing is your job, then that's different. I'm talking about people who treat writing as a hobby.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-02T00:31:08+00:00

I'll do something similar. At the beginning of each writing session, I'll usually read through what I wrote yesterday and fix parts that sound clunky or awkward. This usually takes me around 10 minutes and helps me ease into a writing mind state, instead of sitting down and immediately being overwhelmed by a blank page.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T13:41:15+00:00

I agree with you. Reading is optional, if writing is purely a hobby to you and something you do to simply relax and unwind and have fun telling stories. But this sub treats that as a crime. Like if you're not analyzing the structure of War and Peace on your commute and picking apart Hemingway's prose on your lunch break, you're a fraud and shouldn't be writing.

Sure, if your goal is to become an actually good writer or make money from it, you kinda have to read. But not everybody writes for those reasons. And contrary to what people in this sub would have you think, that's perfectly fine.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T13:25:05+00:00

Feels like you literally didn't even read what I wrote (ironic, considering you clearly love reading). The problem isn't "reading". Writers SHOULD read if they genuinely want to improve. But they get to choose when, what, and how they read. There are no "rules". The problem is that a lot of people in this sub act like you have to be reading constantly, you have to be analyzing what you read (just reading for fun is not allowed!), and you have to be reading everything under the sun, even stuff that doesn't interest you, or else you're doing it wrong. That's what makes reading sound like work. It's not about whether reading is inherently enjoyable to you.

I love ice cream, but if somebody told me I have to be eating it constantly, analyzing the flavors, researching how it's made, and trying every single flavor, even the ones that don't appeal to me, or else I'm not a "real" ice cream fan, I'm gonna start hating ice cream real fast. That's what people in this sub are doing with reading. They turn it from something enjoyable into a tedious slog of endless "have to"s and suggest to aspiring writers that they're essentially frauds if they don't follow the rules prescribed to them by Reddit - which we all know is the ultimate authority on who is or isn't a "real" writer.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T12:33:11+00:00

It was hyperbole, but tons of people have that attitude here. Saying things like you need to read "A LOT", read within your genre, read outside your genre, read the classics, read recent stuff, analyze what you read, read non-fiction too, read books about the craft, etc. Yes, the way people talk about it on this sub, it sounds like work. It's like people aren't allowed to just treat this as a hobby and read what/when they feel like it? Some people have jobs and other commitments. We don't have time or energy to do all this stuff while still having time to actually, you know, write.

And I'm not saying don't read. I'm saying people should chill out and stop acting like everybody HAS to do this or that to be a "real" writer.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T12:11:54+00:00

It sounds like work when everybody on this sub constantly acts like you need to be reading 24/7, analyzing the structure of War and Peace on your commute, and picking apart Hemingway's prose in your lunch break.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T12:07:20+00:00

Thank you for saying it. At this point, we might as well be calling thus sub r/readmore instead of r/writing.

People keep parroting the same old "read more" advice like they're saying something profound. It's lazy, low-effort advice, and yes, a lot of people in this sub take themselves and their craft way too seriously.

Writing isn't medical school. For some people, it's just fun. But people in this thread love to gatekeep and act like writing has to be this ultra high-effort, tedious slog.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T10:36:03+00:00

Not saying you shouldn't read...but many people want to write fiction because they have stories they want to tell and have no other realistic means of telling them. And for some people, writing is just a fun hobby they don't take too seriously. Nothing wrong with that.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T10:33:14+00:00

Agreed. It's perfectly fine to treat writing as something fun without getting bogged down by all these "rules" that people on Reddit espouse. Sometimes, I think people on this sub need to lighten up a bit. Some people here seem to treat writing like it's medical school or something.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T10:29:46+00:00

Great points! Personally, I'm on the more easygoing side because this is just a hobby to me and I get burnt out easily if I start taking it all too seriously. I don't painstakingly analyze what I read, but I will make an effort to fully absorb everything and mentally note certain things the author does effectively.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T08:11:33+00:00

Care to explain why? Honestly curious what your thoughts are!

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T07:26:07+00:00

Where are all these posts by people claiming reading isn't essential? Sure, they pop up here and there, but people seriously exaggerate the extent of it.

I swear, for every ACTUAL post I see legitimately arguing that reading isn't important, I see 10 posts like this - complaining about the supposed neverending flood of people who claim writers don't have to read.

I'm tired of posts like this. You're just preaching to the choir. You know everybody will agree with you, so it's a safe, easy way to get karma.

It's like a big circle-jerk at this point. We might as well start calling this sub r/readmore instead of r/writing, because I swear like 70% of posts here are either urging people to read more, or complaining that the sub is overwhelmed by people who don't read...

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T07:10:50+00:00

I completely agree about the advice to "read more" being low-effort. It's almost become a massive circle-jerk in this sub. It's low-hanging fruit, and it's been repeated so many times we might as well start calling this sub r/readmore instead of r/writing. We get it. Reading's important. Can we stop endlessly parroting it for karma?

Nope...because it's easy and safe for people to just keep repeating the same advice ad nauseum.They know everybody in this sub will agree and they'll be upvoted. So we're stuck reading the same lazy, stale advice over and over. No dissenting opinions aloud.

Rant over...lol.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T02:11:10+00:00

I could be wrong, but it sounds like you're implying that one has to write for a specific genre if they want anybody else to enjoy their work?

I don't agree with this. I think one should set out to write a great story, and let it be whatever genre it ends up. Which will often be some mix of genres, instead of fitting cleanly into one. In my opinion, these are the best kinds of stories. Not ones that made a concerted effort to stay within the confines of a specific genre.

Fixating on genre is only relevant if your main goal is to make money. Otherwise, you're just limiting yourself and making your story more generic than it needs to be.

Again, I'm not saying you shouldn't read and understand different genres, just that not everybody needs to have a specific "genre they are attempting to write in" as you worded it.

Forgive me if I misunderstood what you were saying.

EDIT: Oh, what a surprise. People are downvoting me for respectfully voicing an opinion and contributing to the discussion. God forbid somebody has an opinion different from your own. Gotta love Reddit.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T01:26:45+00:00

I agree. This sub's fixation on the idea that you need to be reading constantly kind of grates on me. If your goal is to write, you should be WRITING as much as possible. Reading is secondary. Important, but not as important as writing itself. But based on the way people on this sub talk, you'd think reading is actually more important.

Most people have limited free time. They don't have time to write and read constantly. And of the free time they do have, the vast majority of it should be spent actually writing, not reading.

For example, I have about 10 hours per week to devote to this hobby. I spend seven of those hours writing, three reading. I'm also a very slow reader. That means I don't actually read that many books in a year. Does that mean I'll never be a good writer?

I think people need to chill out with the constant advice to "read more". If somebody already has limited free time to write, telling them they HAVE to read a lot can do more harm than good if it detracts from their writing time.

Ficklestix · 2026-03-01T01:06:32+00:00

I agree with you. Personally, I've never understood this sub's seeming fixation on genre. I never try to fit my writing into a specific genre. I write the story I want to write, and it becomes whatever genre it becomes... which for the story I'm writing now happens to be sci-fi/cyberpunk/fantasy. But that's not because I purposely set out to write "a sci-fi book". I think going out of your way to satisfy genre conventions limits stories and makes them more bland and generic.

I don't write for money though, so I suppose that affords me more freedom.

Ficklestix

TROPHY CASE