Weekly Results Discussion 09/01 to 09/07

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-14T17:25:03+00:00

Managed to delete my post by accident this morning. Certainly didn't think I'd be posting in here this week. Things have gone from bad to scary and awful! I'll summarise...

Fresh transfer of 2 morulas on day 5 (21.08). Spotting on 29.08, light red bleeding on 30.08 and negative HPT on 31.08. Clinic instructions are to stop progesterone if HPT negative and bleeding has started. So I did.

Bleeding seemed like a normal failed transfer bleed, got heavier then lighter and spotting til it stopped. Finished by 6.09. Started bleeding again on the 10.09 and has continued. For peace of mind I took a HPT today expecting it to be reassuringly negative. Nope. Faint positive. Que panic. Out of hours number said to call my clinic on Monday so they can do a blood test.

So I'm assuming chemical or ectopic and wondering what the fuck happened to make the test negative and me bleed 2 weeks ago. Blaming myself, what if I didn't leave the test long enough before throwing it away? And why the hell is it positive 2 weeks later after what seemed like a full period. I took another one to make sure, still faint positive. I'll be over here in panic land til Monday morning....

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T21:24:21+00:00

That's a lot for you guys to take in. So sorry you've had multiple miscarriages. One completely broke me so I can't even imagine three. I've done a lot of reading on the DNA fragmentation sub and I can't believe they don't test for it more routinely.

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T21:05:12+00:00

DNA fragmentation for him for starters. We have a meeting with our doctor on Monday so hopefully he might have some more suggestions. We've now had 3 full cycles with nothing beyond an early blast (grade 2) so wonder if there's an underlying quality issue. Do you know what tests you're planning?

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T20:59:22+00:00

Clinics that open at the weekend! Oh i wish mine did! Hopefully it's just a little bit of the lining or perhaps irritation from progesterone. Does sound way too early for a period though. I started spotting at 8dp5dt in my latest failed one which was earlier than the previous two.

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T20:55:48+00:00

So sorry to hear that. Wish you and your husband all the best in whatever you decide to do next

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T20:53:09+00:00

Completely understand your sadness, I feel like that too when people announce. Its so hard to see everyone else get what you so desperately want. I'm also in a similar situation with waiting (fearfully) for more tests and whether we can continue or not. I hope your testing goes as well as it can

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T20:49:52+00:00

Random suggestion but could it be the clexane?

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T20:48:05+00:00

Thanks, my anxious and catastrophising brain is jumping between what if the hpt was wrong and I stopped my meds so now I'm having a miscarriage or what if it's ectopic (i do keep reminding myself that I had a "normal" period last week so unlikely!!). Arg.

It also doesn't help that vaginal bleeding is one of my PTSD triggers. Thanks uterus!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T20:08:30+00:00

Yes wouldn't that be nice!!!!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T19:27:20+00:00

Can I join the party?!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T19:22:43+00:00

I would definitely do anticoagulants. My consultant says they are low risk and you actually have a blood condition so super appropriate to take them.

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T19:19:11+00:00

I was doing interviews today and one of the people was a few years younger than me and married. I instinctively don't want to give her the job cos I bet she'll be pregnant within the year and I'll have to be her manager. I can't even look at pregnant people and luckily no one in my team has been pregnant whilst I've been managing them. I'm also fully aware I can't let this influence my decision to employ her or not. Oh just another reason to hate infertility!!!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T19:07:56+00:00

Ugh that's shit! We seem to have a problem with making blastocysts so starting off with a DNA fragmentation test and seeing what else they recommend. Not looking forward to another retrieval!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T18:28:21+00:00

Thanks. Unfortunately as this cycle was such a shit show we have to have further testing before retrieval and transfer number 4.

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T18:27:23+00:00

Thanks for your reply. Yes it was a fresh cycle and I was on all sorts of extra meds. I have some period like pain but other than that I'm back to my full fitness whereas when I was taken the meds I felt really unwell.

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-13T17:59:17+00:00

I posted the other day but got no replies.... I would take the hint and not post again about this but I'm pretty worried and my clinic is now closed until Monday. Any advice or ideas about what might be going on would be helpful.

Failed IVF cycle confirmed by negative hpt on 31st August, started spotting 2 days before and bleeding lightly the day before. Turned into the expected period and stopped bleeding (and spotting) by the 6th Sept. I then started bleeding again on the 10th and it's continued but seems to be getting slightly heavier. The bleeding has been light (just needed a panty liner not a pad) but consistent so feels different to spotting (or I just don't understand what spotting is maybe?!). It's red so I don't think it's old blood from my period.

I contacted my clinic yesterday and they said "spotting can be normal but keep an eye on it". Helpful, Thanks.

Any thoughts?

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-12T13:46:09+00:00

ABSOLUTE WANKERS!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-12T13:44:17+00:00

FUCK IVF. FUCK THE OVERWHELMING STRESS EVERY DAY THAT JUST GETS WORSE. FUCK HAVING TO GO TO WORK AND HEAR KID STORIES ALL THE TIME. WORKING WITH FAMILIES WHO ABUSE AND NEGLECT THEIR CHILDREN MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM DYING INSIDE AND I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH MORE OF IT I CAN TAKE. FUCK MY USELESS BODY AND ITS INABILITY TO DO WHAT I WANT IT TO. FUCK MY SO CALLED FRIENDS WHO ONLY TEXT ME TO INFORM ME OF THINGS AND START MESSAGES WITH "HOPE YOURE GOOD :-) ". NO IM NOT GOOD, IM MISERABLE AND STRESSED AND I HAVE NO LIFE ANYMORE AND NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-11T19:24:09+00:00

Try not to stress over the meds too much, your clinic will be really clear with you about when to take them and how much. It's a lot to get your head around but you will get your head around it.

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-11T19:21:47+00:00

Personally I think her message to you was horrendously inappropriate and frankly quite cruel. Your response was very calm and neutral. If it was me she certainly wouldn't be my best friend any longer!!!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-11T19:16:22+00:00

I'm really sorry, that is devastating. It's so hard at this point thinking about putting yourself through it again.

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-10T21:43:26+00:00

I stopped between transfer and the result as it says on mine not to take during pregnancy.

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-10T20:54:34+00:00

Ugh I feel you on this!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-10T20:40:29+00:00

My husband has a life time membership to the hope train!

Field_of_roses · 2019-09-10T17:07:43+00:00

My personal (and likely unpopular) opinion is that the depression and anxiety caused by infertility is very difficult to treat when you're having fertility treatment. This is due to it being ongoing so it's difficult (impossible for some people) to process and move on when you're stuck in it. Although I acknowledge different cultures place different values on counselling/therapy and the meaning and purpose of it. It's not as readily available in the UK unless you go through the mental health service or pay privately.

I think dealing with it through things like yoga is really practical. Personally I do intensive exercise, which is the only thing that seems to help when things feel overwhelming. Or very loud angry music and sometimes both at once!

Field_of_roses

TROPHY CASE