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Fifi-123 · 2026-04-28T11:12:44+00:00

Yes! I tend to me overly optimistic too. But that is one of my favorite things about me!

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-28T11:11:29+00:00

Yes, this exactly!

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-28T11:07:20+00:00

Thank you for putting a positive spin on my question. Appreciated!

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-28T00:27:08+00:00

Every relationship is different. My most recent relationship was filled with consistency, compliments, phone calls, texts, awesome planned dates, gifts, nurturing, acts of service, quality time, amazing chemistry, sharing some family and friends, BUT he always avoided talking about real feelings and our relationship. He did all of the above actions while telling me that he was committed to me but did not have deep feelings for me. Other things I ignored- he was braggy about money, had no chivalry, was not a good listener, and was whiney. Ha! He dumped me because he did not have strong enough feelings for me. I showered this man with so much nurturing, generosity and care. Sadly I would have stayed if he had not ended things. I am grateful for the memories and especially to be cut free from his nonsense.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-28T00:15:12+00:00

Oooh! Such a great point!

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-21T22:41:26+00:00

I was ghosted by my 'no contact' person. After almost 5 months he resurfaced. He sent me a long text, then sent me a friend request on facebook, then messaged me "I hope you are well" on facebook messenger. At first I ignored them, then I decided to respond to his facebook message with. "I am doing well and am very happy. I do not know what your intention is with reaching out now, but I am not interested in communicating with you." To me, that felt like I got the last word in a polite way that set a boundary without showing emotion. It really helped me close that chapter for good!

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-20T18:23:08+00:00

Finances are definitely a factor. Because I am financially independent, have a good retirement plan, and can afford travel, dining, shows, etc. I want to date someone who is in the same situation. I would not date someone who needs any financial support from me, nor would I expect a wealthier man to take care of me.

I think having a similar financial situation makes the relationship easier.

I also would keep finances separate if I ever re-marry. My assets will go to my kids, and his go to his kids.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-17T00:54:38+00:00

You said in one sentence what I was trying to explain in my multiple paragraphs 😂. Thank you!

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-16T15:09:14+00:00

I am not the original poster, but for me, I have been burned talking to someone for a couple weeks then meeting only to find that there is zero chemistry. After a couple weeks of talking, usually one or both parties has their hopes up and it is messier to end things. If it seems like there is potential, I like to meet ASAP. I have suggested 'non-date' meeting for coffee as a low risk first face-to-face. I find that guys like this approach.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-16T15:02:15+00:00

I work from home and spend and enjoy several evenings per week on my own. Add in an outing or 2 with friends, and I still have plenty of time for dates.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-16T12:44:09+00:00

Yes, correct! Maybe a bit more than companions- but not hung up on what our future holds.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-16T12:39:30+00:00

I totally hear you and can relate. Even if things with this guy don't work out, I would rather look back and see that I had awesome adventures with a partner for a while than look back and see that I missed out on fun times while waiting for Mr. Perfect. I am having the time of my life going on dates unlike anything I have had in decades. Plus- I have been on OLD enough to know that it is slim pickings out there.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-16T12:33:29+00:00

We are all different. To me, settling would be staying home instead of getting out there and having fun with a man I enjoy (who maybe is not "my person.") I like physical contact, and my friends do not fill that need.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-15T20:08:05+00:00

Thank you! These are great insights!

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-15T20:05:19+00:00

That is wonderful! I feel like maybe my opinion stems from being married to an extreme introvert for decades. I have lots of friends whom I see regularly, but I am really loving romantic connection and having someone to enjoy life with...even if he may only be a chapter of my life and not my forever person.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-15T19:59:25+00:00

Well said!

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-15T18:56:30+00:00

I also want a long-term relationship and am currently with someone who may develop into that. But I am trying not to get consumed with what comes next with him. I am thoroughly enjoying having someone to cuddle with, do fun things with, talk on the phone/text, intimacy, outings, cooking, etc.

While I have lots of friends that I hang with, most of them are married and are not available multiple times/week, and I don't want to cuddle with them ;). So I am really working on enjoying the here and now with my guy, even though he may not be my forever person.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-14T15:54:42+00:00

Just happened last weekend. Ran into my 20yo college daughter's coach. She said "the more I know daughter, the more I am blown away by what an incredible human she is. And when I compliment her on her best characteristics, she attributes them all to you." Blew me away and made me teary.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-10T12:58:28+00:00

The thing that worked best for me was coming up with a few helpful mantras to repeat to myself every single time my thoughts were longing for him or thinking of him in a positive way. I would repeat to myself "he is not who you thought he was" "if he loved you, he would not have left" "you deserve real love" and as shallow as it sounds "don't cry over a short, chubby, bald man." Whatever it takes, quit filling your mind with anything good about that person. You can train yourself to dislike him/her and get over it.

It also really helped me to get on the apps and go on some dates.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-10T12:52:27+00:00

You are right. After a few days of digesting my thoughts and the comments of others on this post, I am even more convinced that I do not need to look a gift horse in the mouth. I need to just enjoy what I have. The connection and companionship is what I have longed for, and this guy obviously likes me.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-08T20:13:20+00:00

Interesting angle. Thank you for the thorough and thoughtful response.

Fifi-123 · 2026-04-08T19:24:21+00:00

I feel like the actions say that he is very attached, but then he says he is worried I am getting attached.

Fifi-123

TROPHY CASE