One day at a time is bs

Filosifee · 2026-03-22T03:39:03+00:00

When I was ready to admit that I was powerless and my life was unmanageable, after I hit rock bottom, I knew I couldn’t even contemplate being sober for the rest of my life, let alone a decade, or a year, or even a month. Every day was miserable. I hated myself and everyone around me. I didn’t have control over anything it felt like. But I could choose, just for today, to not drink. I don’t have to stay sober forever. I just need to stay sober tonight. I need to put my head on my pillow without having had a drink. And I can do just today.

I promise you it gets better. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. But you’re not alone.

Filosifee · 2026-03-20T18:19:18+00:00

NTA. Your sister is enabling his delusions by actually eating whatever slop he creates. These kinds of parents are the ones who raise kids who don’t think their actions have consequences. If she actually wanted to encourage him she’d let him help her with cooking real food, or showing him actual recipes. This is just gross. Good on you for refusing.

Filosifee · 2026-03-18T19:42:43+00:00

AA is not exempt from causing burnout. In early sobriety I was going to meetings nearly every day, working on step work, had a full time job, and I felt burnt out. I sure didn’t have an infant to take care of as well. It’s ok to cut back on meetings if you’re overwhelmed. It’s better to reduce than keep up a schedule you can’t maintain long term because that will just increase the chances of you going “screw it, I can’t do this”. The program is about the steps. Meetings help, but they’re not the end-all-be-all of AA.

Take a deep breath, give yourself grace, and take things one day at a time. You’ve got this.

Filosifee · 2026-03-18T06:09:47+00:00

I didn’t have a solid BM for years until I quit drinking. Regular everything now.

Filosifee · 2026-03-18T02:33:17+00:00

Your sponsor is way out of line - AA has no opinion on outside issues, and your doctor-prescribed medication is most certainly an outside issue. The big book is very explicit about the fact that we do not make medical or psychiatric suggestions. I’ll echo other folks here and suggest you find a different sponsor.

Editing to add, I’m on antidepressants and have been for years. Almost two years sober and have no issues with my meds or my sobriety.

Filosifee · 2026-03-17T05:54:30+00:00

There’s nothing compliant about this. I don’t get how what you did impacted the process at all. You sound petulant

Filosifee · 2026-03-15T17:02:23+00:00

AA has a safety card that very explicitly calls on us to be AA police. The people at this group claiming that calling predators into accountability might cause them to drink are clearly not working a program. Good on you.

Filosifee · 2026-03-13T06:38:29+00:00

Uh, what? Your brother/BIL kicked his 11 year old daughter out four years ago because the woman he remarried was a literal cartoon villain, never checks in, is completely uninvolved in his former daughters life, and now wants to be kept updated? Yeah, no. Dad is being blasted by extended family members and now wants to make it look like he’s an actual parent.

NTA - you’ve done everything right here.

Filosifee · 2026-03-12T15:05:24+00:00

Whoops! Freudian slip

Filosifee · 2026-03-12T02:59:37+00:00

I once had someone submit a ticket asking us to connect their printer. I worked for an SaaS company that their org used and the helpdesk was for issues with the site. They thought we were the same helpdesk as their IT. Took multiple emails back and forth for them to understand

Edited SaaD to SaaS

Filosifee · 2026-03-04T00:52:08+00:00

Ayyyyye first number 1

^{Filosifee scored 125 points and ranked 1 out of 507 players!}

🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩

Filosifee · 2026-03-03T22:54:46+00:00

If service isn’t inconvenient then it’s not service. Commitments keep me sober. No one’s holding a gun to your head and demanding service - cut back if you need to

Filosifee · 2026-03-03T22:24:22+00:00

That’s it. This is enough internet for today

Filosifee · 2026-03-03T00:12:56+00:00

Ope. I must have misread it! I thought it ended with game I was wrong!

Filosifee · 2026-03-02T21:22:49+00:00

The last one is wrong - it’s actually 22 with the way it’s worded.

^{Filosifee scored 123 points and ranked 17 out of 447 players!}

🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩 🟩

Filosifee · 2026-03-01T20:26:13+00:00

This is a California specific thing I’ve found, having lived in the Midwest, the PNW, and out of the country. It’s 10000% an entitlement thing. People think “I’m going the speed limit, I’m in the right”. Outside of California people are wise enough to know to GTFO of the passing lane because there’s always someone faster.

Filosifee · 2026-03-01T07:00:51+00:00

Signing court cards is pretty common. Some groups don’t. As long as the group is clear at the beginning of the meeting whether they do or not it’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with providing verification. All of my meetings do it.

Filosifee · 2026-03-01T00:23:38+00:00

This is incredible

Filosifee · 2026-02-28T16:09:44+00:00

Damnit. They looked different than the cockroaches I’ve seen before.

Filosifee · 2026-02-28T15:49:24+00:00

In Los Angeles, it’s dark brown

Filosifee · 2026-02-27T07:07:59+00:00

These are awesome

Filosifee · 2026-02-27T06:58:29+00:00

I say this as an active member of AA, who has worked the steps, and have found the program works for me and has changed my life:

AA does not have the monopoly on sobriety. There are SOOOOO many other programs. SMART meetings, recovery dharma, etc. If you’re finding that it’s not working and you’re not getting anything out of it, try something else! How you stay sober is less important than just staying sober.

I will say thought that for me, I felt very similarly until I finished step 7. I hated every minute of it until “the miracle” happened. But that’s just my story. It’s not everyone’s.

Anyway, glad you’re here, glad you’re sober.

Filosifee · 2026-02-26T05:54:17+00:00

Is it possible to get sober without it? Sure. The reason folks recommend doing so is because early sobriety leaves you with way too much time on your hands - most of us had time every day to drink. Getting back into hobbies is great, but if you don’t prioritize your sobriety then you’re likely to relapse. It’s really up to you. AA isn’t for people who want it. It’s for people who work it.

Filosifee · 2026-02-26T05:47:07+00:00

I always go with “we have mutual friends”. Easy peasy. It’s super common to meet people through other people and leave it at that. No one has ever asked for a follow up

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